Getting Over a Crush

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 7:46 AM GMT
    So, here it is in black and white. I met this guy about eleven months ago on an online writers' forum, and we finally hung out around January. We hung out a couple of times and I crushed on him, hard, going so far as to ask if we could date. At the time, he said no, and didn't give me much more than that to go on other than that he still wanted to hang out as friends. We've done so since, and I learned that at the time he was hanging out with me, he was still involved with a guy who's now his ex.

    We've continued to hang out as friends since then. There are some things that frustrate me about him--he's a relatively secretive person, and I suspect that he likes some of the sway he has over me--but I have these occasional waves wherein I have really wanted to progress beyond friendship with him. Instead, we've just kept hanging out, usually a few times a week.

    Another guy I know recently asked if we could start dating, and I said yes. He's an amazing guy, and I really like him. He's a genuinely good person in addition to being clever, fit, and good-looking. My friend/crush was even instrumental in helping me kick things off with this guy. The problem is that dating still hasn't taken the edge off of what I feel for my crush.

    What the heck do I do? How have you all gotten over crushes in the past?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 10:36 AM GMT
    In time, usually a few weeks, less if you're really busy, it wears off.
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    Sep 21, 2012 11:35 AM GMT
    just take your time ... eventually it will go away but you have to be willing to let the new guy in so the first guy can go icon_smile.gif haha
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Sep 21, 2012 1:33 PM GMT
    Sounds like to me you want something you can't have...He told ya he just wants to be friends...If you can't handle reality...keep crushing...But be ready for it to go nowhere...Don't start dating a new guy when you still have feelings for another...it's not fair for the new guy...My advice..stop seeing both until you get your shit together...it will give your mind time to think...
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    Sep 21, 2012 2:16 PM GMT
    ..Lets see..You were crushing on one guy ..he let you down gently.. and was still able to establish a great friendship with you that did not end in disaster???

    Tiren i encourage you to read some of these other threads just to get a glimpse of what these other guys go through..! There are guys on this site ..half closeted..lonley as hell..with no friends..!

    Wait..!!? You scored a hot new boyfriend..and a new gay best friend..??
    ..Get a hold of yourself dude.... You struck gold.!

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    Sep 21, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    You have to let reality sneak in here at some point. The first guy doesn't have a relationship interest in you, the second one does. Your fantasy for the first guy needs to be diminished so you can embrace the second guy and enjoy the relationship.

    I've had a similar situation and it takes time to put the first one aside. It seems that the old phrase, 'it could have been' keeps creeping up but reality is that it should be 'ain't gonna happen' and you're better off trying to really focus on the new relationship.
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    Sep 21, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    Thanks for the helpful responses, guys!
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Sep 21, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    Time. That is always the answer.
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    Sep 21, 2012 7:48 PM GMT
    tiren saidHow have you all gotten over crushes in the past?
    I crushed them and recycled them.

    crushedcan.jpg
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    Sep 21, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    tiren saidHow have you all gotten over crushes in the past?
    I crushed them and recycled them.

    crushedcan.jpg


    Best answer!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 21, 2012 8:15 PM GMT
    read the other fifty threads on this topic?