Does Manhunt Destroy Gay Society?

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    Aug 23, 2008 10:56 PM GMT
    Okay, So this is my first forum post, but it was a topic that I encountered that really made me think about gay society, how gay guys interact, and how as of late, the majority of gay men I know are depressed about their love lives. Its an article:

    http://out.com/detail.asp?id=24005

    If you don't want to read the whole thing it is essentially about Manhunt, how gay men use it, and why they potentially ought not to.

    The thing that I want to ask all of you is what do you think? If you look at the comments on the article they vary from ' get out of my head, ive thought this all along' to ' manhunt is a sex site. You're an idiot if you look for anything more.'

    They also attack the author for being pretentious, and while I may not entirely appreciate his tone, I definitely appreciate his thoughts.

    I think that it can be a great tool for rural gays to get to meet and greet each other, without entirely focusing on sex for them. As a young gay man, living in a quasi-metropolitan city, I have to say that I can empathize with the thoughts of looking on manhunt for something more. I think the problem with my own mentality, which is brought up in the article, is that online identities are different from actual ones. As a somewhat initially shy person, it can be difficult to meet people in the 'real world' without, oh i dont know, trying to talk to a cute guy at a bar and tripping on your way to talk to him. So people look online to try to connect with someone in a controlled setting. This does not change the fact that they will eventually have to meet that person and deal with that problem anyway, it just buys them more time.

    I also really like the point that the author makes of needing to encourage gay men to find other ways to create community bonds. As an alum of a national gay fraternity, I know that gay guys can be friends. But I also know that it can be hard for them to differentiate between friendship and potential romance. With the Gay World Series coming to my city this week, I have been thinking about this dichotomy between gay sex world and gay social world. There are obviously things that gay men can do together to meet each other, like play sports, and yet at the same time, there have been about 15 extra pages to manhunt in the week preceding the games, so they are also looking.

    So I guess I'm just wondering: Does anyone else feel like we need to strengthen the gay community? How do you suggest we do so? Is manhunt bad for society, or is it just a tool that people can use, if they do so with full knowledge of its intended purpose? Since there are success stories of guys that have met off of manhunt, it can't possibly mean its entirely useless.

    I would appreciate if this could be kept civil and constructive. If you dont have a manhunt you know someone who does and can help us with the perspective of someone that doesnt have an account. If you don't consider yourself part of the community: you are gay, you will hypothetically interact with at least one other gay guy, and that means that you're part of the community.

    Thank you so much for your input and have a wonderful day!
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:08 PM GMT
    I don't have the time to read the full article right now, but in answer to your question, I don't know how much blame we can place on manhunt. If the website is succesful, it's due (in large part) to how it provides a service that the gay community wants. If anything, I'd say it simply reflects the needs of the gay men, taken as a majority. Personally, I'm looking for a long term relationship, so I avoid sites like manhunt because they have a mostly hook-up atmosphere. But even so, I don't think it's fair to say the website is corrupting the community as a whole.

    It may not be a fair example, but this situation reminds me of what critics say about the Daily Show. Some people think that because the Daily Show is so popular and so many people use it as their main source news that they should be more balanced or responsible in the way they present news. The problem with that line of thinking is that the Daily Show never intended to be taken so seriously. It wasn't their goal to be a reliable news source; their goal is to entertain, so you can't blame them for not trying to be serious and unbiased. If anything, it's the viewers who should know better than to rely on a comedy central show as their source of what's happening in politics. (I think this phenomenon also has to do with people staying away from major news channels because of their recent slump in quality--but that's a completely different topic.)

    Similarly, I don't think we can ask manhunt to be the pinnacle of good behavior for the gay community simply because of it's popularity. I don't think it ever strived to be much more than a site for mainly hooking up.

    In terms of strengthening the gay community, I'm not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean gay people being more friendly towards each other? Or do you mean strengthen our morals?

    Either way, if there is a need for an gay online community that does not focus so much on sex, then the best solution would be to do like the creators of manhunt and create a website to satisfy that need. It may or may not catch on, but it seems like a lot of realjock members here appreciate the non hook-up atmosphere of the site. Maybe there is enough of a need to attract enough people.
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:15 PM GMT

    iamwhatiam said,

    "So I guess I'm just wondering: Does anyone else feel like we need to strengthen the gay community? How do you suggest we do so?"

    Here's a take on this from a non-manhunt account person.

    Naively speaking, we think RJ is strengthening the gay community. No pun intended! icon_redface.gif
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    Aug 24, 2008 9:17 PM GMT
    what exactly is gay culture, except the celebration of getting laid and potentially falling in love with someone who is the same gender as you?

    i think manhunt hasn't created or destroyed anything. it feeds off a demand. manhunt hasn't destroyed gay culture - boy george did that a long time ago.
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    Aug 24, 2008 10:54 PM GMT
    Manhunt is simply capitalizing on one aspect of being gay...Sex!

    Men love sex and will go to any means to find it. How many of us have hung out in a bar hoping to get laid?

    The internet and Manhunt simply let us cruise from the comfort of our own home.
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    Aug 25, 2008 12:38 PM GMT
    Manhunt is owned by one of the largest contributors to the McCain campaign.
    See article below. Now you know where your membership fees go.

    http://www.queerty.com/mccain-snubs-manhunt-founder-20080816/
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    Aug 25, 2008 12:59 PM GMT
    I think this is a very, very important article and I'm going to spread it around as much as possible, thanks OP.
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    Aug 25, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    It's sites like this (realjock) and connexion.org that need more publicity because they stress gay politics and stimulate discussions, while making hookups and sex more of a peripheral thing.
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    Aug 25, 2008 11:08 PM GMT
    jakebenson saidIt's sites like this (realjock) and connexion.org that need more publicity because they stress gay politics and stimulate discussions, while making hookups and sex more of a peripheral thing.


    Exactly! Maybe that incident with Manhunt-McCain will help. A seedy website run by seedy people is a waste of your money and detrimental to your lifestyle.
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    Aug 25, 2008 11:22 PM GMT
    Maverick75 said
    Exactly! Maybe that incident with Manhunt-McCain will help. A seedy website run by seedy people is a waste of your money and detrimental to your lifestyle.


    Well, I'm not exactly opposed to those kind of sites. I am more in favor of these kind of sites. I understand the need for trashy sites, but I think the problem isn't that there is too much of them, but that there is not enough of these (realjock, connexion, etc) sites.