How to get over a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    Well I was dating this amazing guy I met in NYC we were together for 5 months, everything looked too good to be real, we argued like every other couple and I got jealous sometimes, then I found out he was still talking to his ex bf and other guys and I got really hurt and I asked him to break up, he cried and told me to give him another chance and I did, then this monday everything was ok and at night he says goodnight ill text u in the morning, the next day he didn't appear at all and texted me around 8 pm breaking up with me and turning his phone off and I couldn't reply or call him back :/ so I just ended up with a lot of feelings inside without being able to express everything, I felt I was in heaven with him and he pushed me to earth again. I've been crying all of these days and I just feel the need to talk to him, his phone is still off. I kinda think he found another guy.

    What can I do to get over this?
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    Sep 22, 2012 9:01 PM GMT
    Sounds like he got you to accept him to break up with you this time.
    You got served.

    I'd say go out with friends, and find out how to love yourself first again.
  • Breeman

    Posts: 339

    Sep 22, 2012 9:18 PM GMT
    Damn it Dude! join the heartbreak club Dude...

    Just gotta suck it up. For me keeping really busy helps. I spend more time with friends, and family, volunteering, playing my guitar, making art, taking a short trip. Just do more of the things that make you happy.
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Sep 22, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    Time, like always.
  • BoostToChase

    Posts: 103

    Sep 22, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    Time. Believe me, I'm going through much of the same right now. It sucks huge. But, I was happy before him and I'll be happy after him, eventually... *hugs*

    Talking with a close friend or 5 helps.
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    Sep 22, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    In time you'll learn to get over a guy as step one. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 22, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    My housemate and I have both just broke up with our BF's . He didn't come home last night and I had a date Thursday , Friday and tonight. Who
    has time to think about out an ex's with a hot dude at the end of your stick.
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    Sep 22, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    dude, you are not alone. my heart goes out to you. in my experience you are going to find someone better. that does not help you now, but just remember to breathe and connect with a higher power to get you through this.
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    Sep 23, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    yeah though, but I personally think breaking up through text is a really coward way to do it :/ at least I think I deserved a phone call at least T_T
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    Sep 23, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    I can tell you the quickest way to get over someone, but first I just got to ask....why would you forbid him to talk to his ex?
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    Sep 23, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    Because I know his ex BF is still trying to hit on him and I just don't find it right :/
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    Sep 23, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI can tell you the quickest way to get over someone, but first I just got to ask....why would you forbid him to talk to his ex?


    I'm finding it hard showing any sympathy because of this same question. Successful relationships never have room for ultimatums.
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    Sep 23, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    so what u think?
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    Sep 23, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    SkittleGangsta said
    Scruffypup saidI can tell you the quickest way to get over someone, but first I just got to ask....why would you forbid him to talk to his ex?


    I'm finding it hard showing any sympathy because of this same question. Successful relationships never have room for ultimatums.


    Yah maybe ur right :/. So what are my options now? lol
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 23, 2012 2:24 AM GMT
    delete him from your phone. if he has stuff at your place. drop it off at his place whether he is home or not. do not respond to any of his text or phone call. start going out and hanging with friends. if you play sports or into outdoor activities joint leagues. find something to keep you busy and distracted
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    Sep 23, 2012 2:31 AM GMT
    You're 20. I'm sorry you're having to go through something like this. Time will help. Set your sites forward. Look forward, stay busy, plan new goals, see other friends. Remember: You won't meet a soul sitting home, so get out and see people and do things. (Not saying you're a couch potato - just reminding you to get out of the house). Last thing: At 20 - - - you can't know how many good / great people are going to be coming into (and out of, sometimes) your life in the next 10, 20, 30 years. I had a little 3 month dry spell at 26..........thought I was done. How foolish. Look at all the guys I've known since then!
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    Sep 23, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    you are beautiful and young. time will take to heal. stay close to your friends, keep on the right path and the right person will arrive.
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    Sep 23, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    Thank you, I know I'm just 20, but this was a huge disappointment, I really loved him icon_cry.gif
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    Sep 23, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    Dude20792 said
    Because I know his ex BF is still trying to hit on him and I just don't find it right :/



    Yeah, but if he wanted to be with his ex, he wouldn't be his ex....right? You either trust him or you don't. First of all, ultimatums never work. And even if they did, it would still create resentment. I know this is not why you created the thread, but I think it's important to understand your possible role in the breakup.
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    Sep 23, 2012 2:56 AM GMT
    Dude20792 said
    SkittleGangsta said
    Scruffypup saidI can tell you the quickest way to get over someone, but first I just got to ask....why would you forbid him to talk to his ex?


    I'm finding it hard showing any sympathy because of this same question. Successful relationships never have room for ultimatums.


    Yah maybe ur right :/. So what are my options now? lol


    Oh geez, I wasn't expecting that response, I thought you would get mad and fight back, not accept defeat... now I feel bad icon_sad.gif

    I guess you will just have to use this as a learning experience so you don't get hurt in the future. Being a good partner and choosing the right partner are things that take a long time to learn.
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    Sep 23, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    SkittleGangsta said
    Dude20792 said
    SkittleGangsta said
    Scruffypup saidI can tell you the quickest way to get over someone, but first I just got to ask....why would you forbid him to talk to his ex?


    I'm finding it hard showing any sympathy because of this same question. Successful relationships never have room for ultimatums.


    Yah maybe ur right :/. So what are my options now? lol


    Oh geez, I wasn't expecting that response, I thought you would get mad and fight back, not accept defeat... now I feel bad icon_sad.gif

    I guess you will just have to use this as a learning experience so you don't get hurt in the future. Being a good partner and choosing the right partner are things that take a long time to learn.


    It's ok though, if you're right you're right. I think all I wanted at least was since when he started to feel like it and stuff, cuz he didn't even give me an explanation though. So my brain is still wondering what happened here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 6:32 AM GMT
    Well well well today I realized he lied and cheated on me so wow xD no words to express my anger. All that love is hate now lol
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    Sep 25, 2012 6:36 AM GMT
    Dude20792 saidWhat can I do to get over this?


    Honestly, the best medicine and only way to get over this is to start dating again. Immediately. It may not work out right away, you might go on a few 1 time dates. But the more dates you go on, the easier it becomes to get over that person.

    That's what I been doing. I was hanging with someone for 5 months thinking we were actually together or on the road to becoming exclusive and it never happened. The arguments became more frequent, it never got better it got worse, nothing ever got fixed...

    So, now I've been on like 5 dates in the past 2 weeks and 1 guy has introduced me to his family and we will be seeing each other again. I'm over the other guy. If someone can't give me a relationship but they want to play the field and expect me to babysit their bullshit, on the premise of us being 'just friends'...they can go fuck themselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 6:44 AM GMT
    dating in nyc sounds rough. move to san diego!

    my favorite word is NEXT! although i would argue you should get into a relationship w yourself now to recover and focus on yourself
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    Sep 25, 2012 6:46 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    First of all, ultimatums never work. And even if they did, it would still create resentment. I know this is not why you created the thread, but I think it's important to understand your possible role in the breakup.


    Someone gave you the wrong information. Ultimatums in certain cases after certain periods of time do work. But the catch is, you want it to work for you...and either decision the person chooses should benefit you regardless. If you're seeing someone and they aren't trying to meet your goals or needs, you have every right to give them an ultimatum. It's basically giving them space. You're basically saying, "if you can't be in alignment with my aspirations, then I can't continue seeing you."

    I had to tell a friend, "unless we're going to be together, and have sex like people do when they are together, you and me are NOT going home together at night any longer and you're not sleeping in my bed either. I don't give a fuck if you have a DUI already and don't wanna drive. If you want to go out and do your own thing and go our separate ways, don't expect to have a dependable ride and sleeping pad at the end of the night."

    So this past Saturday, he talked about hanging out I said no the fuck we can not. Went out alone, but damn sure didn't come home alone.