Why do I bother with A4A

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    So far I've recreated my profile about 5 times (yes 5 times). Very little good has come from this new attempt; men begging for sex, cold responses, and blatant racism... unsurprisingly. Yet, I'm fixed on the irrational belief I can meet someone who isn't looking to fool around EVERY minute of each waking hour. So therefore I'm yet again lured back to the site. I posted about this before, but now I feel it has festered into somewhat of an obsession. Has or is anyone else dealing with this issue??? icon_neutral.gif
  • UnluckyTitan

    Posts: 106

    Sep 23, 2012 7:42 PM GMT
    If you're looking for something other than sex A4A isn't really the place to be looking.
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    Sep 23, 2012 9:43 PM GMT
    There are other mediums, but A4A is just...convenient even though it isn't too helpful.
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    Sep 23, 2012 9:51 PM GMT
    UnluckyTitan saidIf you're looking for something other than sex A4A isn't really the place to be looking.

    Agree, except to add that the local demographic may be a factor, too. It's like, why do I find nice guys in a gay club in one city, and find nothing but predatory slimeballs in another city in an essentially similar club?

    But as a general rule, I wouldn't place too much faith in A4A to find our OP quality men. I used to do much better meeting nice men on gay social sites not known for hook-ups.
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    Sep 23, 2012 9:52 PM GMT
    No. I've never dealt with your obsession.

    Seriously, most guys are there to hook up. If you're not, then why go back to a4a?
  • hanzo83

    Posts: 457

    Sep 24, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    I log on there nowadays just to look at profiles and answer messages. It is useful if you want a hookup which I don't right now. I'm sure there are nice guys on there but I don't see anything wrong with wanting sex too.
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    We all have obsessions, and sometimes the obsessions manifest into compulsions.

    I dealt with this one about a year and a half ago. I was so insistent on finding someone to date that was suitable and not looking for a simple hookup.

    What I found was that I actually just wanted a personality or something outside of myself to make me happy. Through many trials I realized I had nothing to offer anyone other than my genitals. Ultimately I was seeking out the same unhealthy and unavailable people I had been seeking out for years.

    I finally realized that if I want a relationship with another human being I better work on the relationship with myself because that is the most important. No dick or personality will ever satisfy my appetite.
  • robevans912

    Posts: 87

    Sep 24, 2012 9:11 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidWe all have obsessions, and sometimes the obsessions manifest into compulsions.

    I dealt with this one about a year and a half ago. I was so insistent on finding someone to date that was suitable and not looking for a simple hookup.

    What I found was that I actually just wanted a personality or something outside of myself to make me happy. Through many trials I realized I had nothing to offer anyone other than my genitals. Ultimately I was seeking out the same unhealthy and unavailable people I had been seeking out for years.

    I finally realized that if I want a relationship with another human being I better work on the relationship with myself because that is the most important. No dick or personality will ever satisfy my appetite.



    I've been reading RJ for a while, and this is probably the most insightful post I've read thus far.
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    Sep 25, 2012 1:33 AM GMT
    Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results..?
    ..maybe it's time to try something new..icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 25, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    UnluckyTitan saidIf you're looking for something other than sex A4A isn't really the place to be looking.
    +1
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    Sep 25, 2012 2:18 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIt's a terrible site with the trashiest of male gay trash on that site.

    Step away from the computer...


    Delete your account and never look back.


    You tell 'em Muscle!!!


    * nervous laugh, closes computer screen * icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 25, 2012 2:20 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidDoing the same thing over and over but expecting different results..?


    Hey! That's what I was going to say! icon_mad.gif
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    Sep 25, 2012 2:20 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    Anocxu saidDoing the same thing over and over but expecting different results..?


    Hey! That's what I was going to say! icon_mad.gif


    That's called insanity!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidThat's called insanity!!!!


    RUDE!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    jmusmc85 saidThat's called insanity!!!!


    RUDE!!!


    yep, pretty rude.