Barebacking in monogamous relationships

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2012 8:16 PM GMT
    Is it theoretically possible for two hiv- parties to have bb sex long term without contracting hiv?

    If this is so, since a person from birth should be hiv -, how does one be hiv+?
    is it the result of a combination of different kinds of sperm? I'm confused where hiv really comes from.

    I've read that there's a time period where you can be hiv+ but it will not show up on the tests yet. How long should we wait to get tested together?
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    bananamilk saidIs it theoretically possible for two hiv- parties to have bb sex long term without contracting hiv?

    Yes. HIV is a virus that does not arise spontaneously out of nothing. It must be passed from an infected person through bodily fluids, such as semen. If 2 parties do not already have HIV, and only have sex with each other, then neither can contract HIV, regardless of the kind of sex they're having together.

    The time period for the most common HIV testing methods is 3 to 6 months, from initial infection with HIV until the tests can detect it. That's because these tests don't test for the virus itself, but indirectly, for antigens in the blood that the body produces over time to the presence of HIV. And that time can be between 3 to 6 months, the "blackout window" when a person can have HIV, but test negative, and still be capable of infecting another person.

    Therefore, one should not bareback until tested over at least a 6-month period with negative results. It's recommended you both test once, then test again at 6 months, preferably having no sex together at all or with anyone else during that period. But remember this:

    You place your life in the hands of another man when you BB, trusting that he won't ever cheat on you and become infected. For that reason you & he should continue to test for HIV regularly, ideally every 6 months. The oral swab method is easiest, gives results under 30 minutes while you wait, and is free or low cost through many different services. A home test version should be selling in US stores beginning in October.

    But again, it will only be reporting your HIV status from 3 to 6 months earlier - it never gives your status as of today. If your BF cheated 2 months ago and got infected, he will test negative today, but also be infectious today, and can infect you, too.

    A cheating BF is one of the leading causes of gay men contracting HIV. And barebacking is how they pass it onto their unsuspecting BFs. You're trusting this guy with your life, especially if you're the bottom, so think well before you have unsafe sex.
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:33 PM GMT
    Still doesn't answer my first question.
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    bananamilk saidStill doesn't answer my first question.

    Who didn't answer your question? Me or yourname2000?
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:08 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    bananamilk saidStill doesn't answer my first question.

    Who didn't answer your question? Me or yourname2000?


    The other guy. For some reason it did not show your post when I checked.
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:17 AM GMT
    Thanks Art!

    That is what I suspected, and I told him we should wait until at least 3 months when we get tested together.

    After looking some stuff up, I've found that while HIV might not pose a problem, there are bacteria in the (at a loss of term so I'll call it "up the butt") that might cause UTI's and stuff like that?
    What about STD's?

    And yeah, quite a revelation to see that most guys get HIV from their supposedly exclusive partner.

    And the reason I made a thread here was because I was curious if there were any couples here that do that.
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    Sep 24, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    bananamilk saidAfter looking some stuff up, I've found that while HIV might not pose a problem, there are bacteria in the (at a loss of term so I'll call it "up the butt") that might cause UTI's and stuff like that?
    What about STD's?

    And yeah, quite a revelation to see that most guys get HIV from their supposedly exclusive partner.

    Not MOST guys, but rather I wrote that cheating is a leading cause. Statistics are difficult to establish, because even the infected will not always be certain how it happened. And there are no good reporting methods in place.

    For one thing, some reporting health agencies only ask an infected person how they think they contracted HIV (gay sex, straight sex, IV needles, other, unknown). They won't ask or record if the patient cheated on a BF or partner, though they may ask for the names of all sexual contacts, without concern for any relationship.

    So that much of what we think we know is through anecdotal information and inference. Nevertheless, I myself can point to HIV cases that I know for certain were caused by guys who cheated, and subsequently infected their partners.

    STDs besides HIV can be transmitted through anal sex, and by other sexual activities. Besides being tested for HIV, gay men should also have themselves tested for all the common STDs on a regular basis. My partner & I do (in fact we have a doctor's appt tomorrow to get our latest blood work results), and we have been 100% monogamous our 5 years together. You should do the same.
  • jim_sf

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    Sep 25, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    Skipping the questions about spontaneous generation of HIV or STDs

    bananamilk saidAfter looking some stuff up, I've found that while HIV might not pose a problem, there are bacteria in the (at a loss of term so I'll call it "up the butt") that might cause UTI's and stuff like that?


    Yes, there are intestinal bacteria which may cause UTIs, but there are bacteria on every square inch of skin and inside every orifice which may cause UTIs - as one doctor of mine commented, "we never put our penises in sterile places". (And the term you're looking for is "rectum".)
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    Sep 25, 2012 9:43 PM GMT
    bananamilk saidIs it theoretically possible for two hiv- parties to have bb sex long term without contracting hiv?
    It's theoretically possible to travel faster than the speed of light, 18 years into the future, and have sex with your best friend's newborn baby who just won his first fitness model competition...without contracting any disease because science finally figured out a simple HIV vaccine.

    Other than theory? You better be able to trust your partner with your life, because all it takes is him cheating once to fuck everything up.