Is it really worth it falling in love?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    After my experience with my ex bf, I realized all the love I gave was literally smashed and throwed n the garbage. So to keep a healthy and happy relationship you just should keep a distance from him always, because I realized if you fall deeply in love with someone, you get too attached and if you ever lose that person you can end up in depression.

    What do you guys think?

    Have any of you went through something similar and ur love at the end wasn't appreciated.

    I'm starting to think love is just a game where one loves more than the other one and you get to a point where you both bore each other.
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:41 PM GMT
    Dude20792 saidAfter my experience with my ex bf, I realized all the love I gave was literally smashed and throwed n the garbage. So to keep a healthy and happy relationship you just should keep a distance from him always, because I realized if you fall deeply in love with someone, you get too attached and if you ever lose that person you can end up in depression.

    What do you guys think?

    Have any of you went through something similar and ur love at the end wasn't appreciated.

    I'm starting to think love is just a game where one loves more than the other one and you get to a point where you both bore each other.


    I was one of these individuals. My ex definitely did not appreciate me, but whatever it's worth, I couldn't appreciate him either. I definitely though felt screwed in the end, even after giving it my all and bearing my heart and soul. He was my second serious relationship I had with a guy. Perhaps I was a bit naive into thinking we could be close for the rest of our life, especially when we started to see more and more of each other. I think we're both good people at heart but we're just not meant to be together-- not as friends and especially not as lovers.

    Singledom isn't so bad though. icon_smile.gif It's a lot easier to manage than having to have someone who is inept. icon_biggrin.gif

    Still, my advice would be to not give up hope. icon_smile.gif True love exists but like a seed, it takes time, patience, and energy. It also requires mutual efforts on the part of both lovers. Personally, I think the best kinds of relationships are those which start off as friendships. Psychologists may disagree with that in parts saying it stifles one's progress of actually obtaining romantic connection but I remain firmly adamant on this-- if a person cannot be your friend, they most likely cannot be your lover. I'm sure there are exceptions, as with everything else too, but this is something I personally don't see happening any other way. If a person cannot understand, accept, and appreciate/embrace all these sides of me, I doubt they can really be a lover in the truest sense of the word. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    Dude20792 said[...] because I realized if you fall deeply in love with someone, you get too attached and if you ever lose that person you can end up in depression.
    What do you guys think? [...]


    I think it's immature and that it's a defeatist attitude.
    Sort of like why play the lottery if a huge percentage will go to taxes.
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    Sep 24, 2012 2:13 AM GMT

    "Have any of you went through something similar and ur love at the end wasn't appreciated."

    Yes, several times, before I met Bill. Think about that. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug of meninlove
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    Sep 24, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    seems to me most people want a relationship.

    They don't really care who with.

    It's more about "Having that relationship" everything else is secondary until they don't feel appreciated.

    Perhaps meeting good people first and putting the relationship on the back burner.

    and yes it is worth it.

    I was madly in love with my ex, we had an amazing relationship for 10 years. I'm still madly in love with him just don't wanna have a relationship with him anymore and he doesn't want to with me either. So we are great friends.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Sep 24, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Dude20792 saidAfter my experience with my ex bf, I realized all the love I gave was literally smashed and throwed n the garbage. So to keep a healthy and happy relationship you just should keep a distance from him always, because I realized if you fall deeply in love with someone, you get too attached and if you ever lose that person you can end up in depression.

    What do you guys think?

    Have any of you went through something similar and ur love at the end wasn't appreciated.

    I'm starting to think love is just a game where one loves more than the other one and you get to a point where you both bore each other.


    I hate to agree.. but story of my life right here. With my latest dude, I kept too much distance and he ended feeling unwanted and slipped away.

    I don't even want to fall in love again. It's such a tremendous painful experience. With the last few guys I've dated, I have started to dread the ending of the relationship even as the good times happened. Love is just a loser game, as Amy Winehouse sang.. (and looked how she ended up)
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    Sep 24, 2012 4:22 AM GMT
    The guy above me said, "I don't even want to fall in love again. It's such a tremendous painful experience."

    It is, but depending on who it is, it isn't.
    These are just the relationships that didn't work. Keep yourself open to the possibility (and I'll boldly declare probability) that the right kind of someone will.

    warmly,

    -Doug
    PS I think you should examine this, "With my latest dude, I kept too much distance and he ended feeling unwanted and slipped away."

    Why's that?

    I think many would do the same if they felt unwanted. Would you? icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2012 5:58 AM GMT
    In my case I gave too much. He got used to having me giving literally for both of us. I guess he felt overwhelmed?
  • Imaxsean

    Posts: 17

    Sep 24, 2012 11:17 AM GMT
    Sometimes it's really uncontrollable icon_rolleyes.gif
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Sep 24, 2012 11:22 AM GMT
    YES YES YES
    im not in love any more and it was years ago, but i''m so happy and thankfull i'v expirienced it.
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    Sep 24, 2012 11:44 AM GMT
    I think you should give it a bit of time. Your wounds are still fresh and haven't had a chance to heal. Time and a bit of distance can give you perspective that may change your mind.

    All the best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2012 11:48 AM GMT
    i dont wanna ever be in love! thank god ive never been lol
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    Sep 24, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    Somewhere between losing love, and longing for it again, there is a point where you have allow yourself to doubt or even completely disbelieve in love. That natural progression of learning will allow you to understand yourself and love again for yourself when you're to move on.
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    Cliche, I know..but "I would rather have Loved and lost, than to have never have Loved at all" icon_smile.gif What you are thinking and feeling is a normal part of love lost. It will come back around when your ready. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    it's not worth it
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    Op..choose a better person to fall in love with next time..
    You are 20 years old.. Maybe you are not keen on what makes a lasting relationship work.. Or what to look for in a partner...

    ..You made some mistakes..your ex made some mistakes... Take some time to yourself..regroup..heal..and get back out there...icon_biggrin.gif
    Hugz
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Sep 24, 2012 1:43 PM GMT
    I think of achieving deep love with someone you want to spend your life with as the ultimate adventure and the achievement of it requires many sacrifices, and many times there are setbacks that cause us to doubt the validity of the pursuit of it.

    If it's something one wants out of life, one has to forge ahead, even in the face of feeling defeated. In the process, we need to allow our inner selves to grow and be enriched by the attempt, even though it's sometimes a painful proposition. Maybe it didn't work out this time, but then again maybe next time it will--and possibly when you least expect it.
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:45 PM GMT
    it really depends on how far you fall.
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    Sep 24, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    I know we all have our ups and downs. But why does this hurt so bad? Like its tearing me apart icon_sad.gif
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Sep 24, 2012 4:58 PM GMT
    Dude20792 saidI know we all have our ups and downs. But why does this hurt so bad? Like its tearing me apart icon_sad.gif




    ...You know when it is REAL Love; because, when it's over, it feels exactly like death.

    I don't like that type of pain, either; however, I enjoy the process / opportunity.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Sep 24, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    It's rough, I know, but you just have to lean into what you're feeling and see what you can learn from it, both to grow from the experience, and also to know more clearly what to look for in your next relationship.

    I think it would be a mistake to let your current state of sadness and disappointment build up walls against falling in love again. Some guys do that (and then constantly complain about not being in a relationship). Sometimes love doesn't work out the way we want it to; learning to accept that with grace is difficult, but necessary if you want to have a happy life.
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    Sep 24, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    To all the positive Gurus above!!

    Amen!
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    Sep 24, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    OP!
    784144_o.gif

    Wake up! if love was not appreciated, nature will to love you back! never fail in giving out LOVE! cause Love never fails you!

    Its a state of grace.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    If it's worth considering, than it's worth investing time in.
    "Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do in the first place doesn't mean it's useless...."
    --Thomas Edison
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Sep 24, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    Never!

    FILA!!! (Falling In Loves Asinine)