PLEASE HELP ME understand what this man is thinking? ? ? ?

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    Sep 23, 2012 11:40 PM GMT
    Im still in university, so I am not officialy OUT but people do sort of have an idea that I am gay. I am not feme in anyway but you can would see i am not straight. There is this man in my geography class. Since last year he gives me stares in class. Last year I didnt take any notice of it. But know I have started noticing that he stares at me alot. He has this gaze when I walk into class, accompanied by slight, very slight smile. I sit in the front row in the class. He sits 2 rows behind me, in a position in which he has full view of me. If I turn around I catch him staring at me. He stares me down, and I shyly look away. He always stares at me wherever he sees me on campus. He is very masculine acting, and goodlooking. One time I decided to be brave and when he walked by with his buddies I looked and smiled at him. He walked slower passed me a nd stopped 10 meters away from. When he parted ways with his buddies, he had this serious look that I didnt know how to interpret! It also seemed like he wanted to approach me, but he never did. Then I have this other friend of mine, a girl by the name of Marlene. He and Marlene attend biology together ( I do not do biology). Everytime he sees me talking to Marlene he becomes angry! So I want please ask, does he want me? Does he want Marlene? Or am I been mislead and that he is actually straight?
  • iiheartwaves

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    Sep 23, 2012 11:44 PM GMT
    Why don't you just talk to him. Ask him if he's interested in your friend. done.
  • hanzo83

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    Sep 23, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    Yup do what he said^. You can judge his reaction to that to see where his head is at.
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    I think he does like me. I am not sure if he is comfortable with it icon_confused.gifWhat if talking to him ruins it completey
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    BillyD_964 saidI think he does like me. I am not sure if he is comfortable with it icon_confused.gifWhat if talking to him ruins it completey

    Consider that he might be homophobic, and is studying a freak he considers to be the "enemy", perhaps not certain yet if his suspicions about you are correct. Therefore I'm not sure approaching him at all at this point would be a smart move.

    If he's interested in you in a friendly gay way he likely would have approached you by now, or will in the near future. Leave the first move to him, and remain cautious and don't let your guard down.
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    Sep 23, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    BillyD_964 saidWhat if talking to him ruins it completey


    Then the whole world will break apart into billions of pieces!!! icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:04 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    BillyD_964 saidI think he does like me. I am not sure if he is comfortable with it icon_confused.gifWhat if talking to him ruins it completey

    Consider that he might be homophobic, and is studying a freak he considers to be the "enemy". I'm not sure approaching him at all at this point would be a smart move. If he's interested in you in a friendly gay way he likely would have approached you by now, or will in the near future. Leave the first move to him, but be cautious and don't let your guard down.


    You are right. And need to careful. I must admit I did have that same thought at the back of my mind. But why does he get angry at when I talk to Marlene?
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:12 AM GMT
    BillyD_964 saidYou are right. And need to careful. I must admit I did have that same thought at the back of my mind. But why does he get angry at when I talk to Marlene?

    A number of possibilities: first, simple straight male jealousy over a female. He would get angry at any man enjoying the company of a woman he desires for himself.

    Second, that male jealousy may be amplified by his suspicion, or conviction, that you are gay. If a macho specimen like himself can't get anywhere with her, why should a worthless queer like you merit her attention? You might ask Marlene what she knows about him, if she's ever sensed that he has an interest in her.

    Of course some sexually insecure straight men will skulk and daydream about a woman that they're too timid to approach. Yet they're the ones who become the most enraged when they see another man favored by the company of an attractive woman out of their reach. If he thinks you're less worthy than him, for whatever reason, gay or otherwise, it only makes it more difficult for him to handle the situation.
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    BillyD_964 saidYou are right. And need to careful. I must admit I did have that same thought at the back of my mind. But why does he get angry at when I talk to Marlene?

    A number of possibilities: first, simple straight male jealousy over a female. He would get angry at any man enjoying the company of a woman he desires for himself.

    Second, that male jealousy may be amplified by his suspicion, or conviction, that you are gay. If a macho specimen like himself can't get anywhere with her, why should a worthless queer like you merit her attention? You might ask Marlene what she knows about him, if she's ever sensed that he has an interest in her.

    Of course some sexually insecure straight men will skulk and daydream about a woman that they're too timid to approach. Yet they're the ones who become the most enraged when they see another man favored by the company of an attractive woman out of their reach. If he thinks you're less worthy than him, for whatever reason, gay or otherwise, it only makes it more difficult for him to handle the situation.


    So so true, I never ever thought of it in that way... Thank you. I will definitely ask her.
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    Sep 24, 2012 12:56 AM GMT
    I'm getting alot of mixed signals here. It's hard to tell whether he is interested in you, or just messing with you. He may also be interested in Marlene. I would wait and see what happens. You can try making the first move, but you would have to be extremely careful about it. If he's homophobic and you accuse him of checking you out, there could be a really awkward moment, or worst, a physical altercation.
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:23 AM GMT
    WaytoDawn saidI'm getting alot of mixed signals here. It's hard to tell whether he is interested in you, or just messing with you. He may also be interested in Marlene. I would wait and see what happens. You can try making the first move, but you would have to be extremely careful about it. If he's homophobic and you accuse him of checking you out, there could be a really awkward moment, or worst, a physical altercation.


    I definitely agree. Do you think I should stay away from totalyicon_confused.gif
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:37 AM GMT
    BillyD_964 said
    WaytoDawn saidI'm getting alot of mixed signals here. It's hard to tell whether he is interested in you, or just messing with you. He may also be interested in Marlene. I would wait and see what happens. You can try making the first move, but you would have to be extremely careful about it. If he's homophobic and you accuse him of checking you out, there could be a really awkward moment, or worst, a physical altercation.


    I definitely agree. Do you think I should stay away from totalyicon_confused.gif


    I would say yes. Personally, I think he likes Marlene, and sees you as a threat to his possible relationship with her. Unless you are really getting a friendly feeling from these stares stay away and ignore him (personally based on your description its not very friendly)
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    WaytoDawn said
    BillyD_964 said
    WaytoDawn saidI'm getting alot of mixed signals here. It's hard to tell whether he is interested in you, or just messing with you. He may also be interested in Marlene. I would wait and see what happens. You can try making the first move, but you would have to be extremely careful about it. If he's homophobic and you accuse him of checking you out, there could be a really awkward moment, or worst, a physical altercation.


    I definitely agree. Do you think I should stay away from totalyicon_confused.gif


    I would say yes. Personally, I think he likes Marlene, and sees you as a threat to his possible relationship with her. Unless you are really getting a friendly feeling from these stares stay away and ignore him (personally based on your description its not very friendly)
    I guess I should, for my own safety. Thank you~
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    Personally Id miss a class and then ask him for notes. It gives you a convenient excuse to interact and gives him an opening to flirt more overtly. Just make sure that regardless of how you approach him, dont do it when his buds are around. If hes closeted that could easily throw a wrench in your plans. I also wouldnt be crazy concerned about him being a homophobe. If you lived in fear of everyone you interact with being a homophobe whos going to stomp you, youd never meet anyone new. Hope it works out.
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    Sep 24, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    BillyD_964 said
    WaytoDawn said
    BillyD_964 said
    WaytoDawn saidI'm getting alot of mixed signals here. It's hard to tell whether he is interested in you, or just messing with you. He may also be interested in Marlene. I would wait and see what happens. You can try making the first move, but you would have to be extremely careful about it. If he's homophobic and you accuse him of checking you out, there could be a really awkward moment, or worst, a physical altercation.


    I definitely agree. Do you think I should stay away from totalyicon_confused.gif


    I would say yes. Personally, I think he likes Marlene, and sees you as a threat to his possible relationship with her. Unless you are really getting a friendly feeling from these stares stay away and ignore him (personally based on your description its not very friendly)
    I guess I should, for my own safety. Thank you~


    You're welcome. I forgot to say this last time, but I didn't realize till the last response that I wrote, this whole scenario seems like some cheesy teen drama show. Just reread everything and it'll set in.
    I'm not trying to belittle you situation, and I apologize if it seems that way. But sometimes you just have to take a step back and laugh at it all.