I have no idea how gay dating works!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    I'm a bi guy, and i been hooking up with guys since i was 18. Never dated one though. All my friends are strt except for one bi chick but she never even tried it so she can't even give herself advice.
    I went on my first date with a guy a few days ago. He was really cute and i thought we had a really good time. We kissed once and that was it, and i found that really nice because i never just kissed anyone. But when i texted him the next day i didn't get a respond till later that night saying he was busy and he'll text later. Then the day after i tried asking him out to a movie, he replied asking what time i was thinking, i responded but i haven't heard from him since. I feel kinda dumb now, like i built it up to be a great date when it obviously wasn't great for him. I don't really feel dumb like this with girls, and i kinda actually feel like a girl myself for getting so depressed over it.
    I have no idea how to meet guys or what to do on dates with guys. Im kinda jealous when i see two guys in a relationship how did they get there? I'm not particularly flamboyant nor do i give off a gay vibe, and i have no gaydar. I feel doomed to be the bi guy that hooks up with the curious strt dudes who want nothing more than a night of experimentation, or the guy that can get guilted into giving pity sex away to ppl i don't even find attractive. I need advice, or a gay mentor, or a gay or bi friend so i know whats normal or not. All i know now is this sucks! do u think this guy actually likes me or am i just wasting my time?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 24, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    that's sad .. I think some guys can be so rude ... I'm sure it's probably always been that way in some way or another.

    Here's what you gotta do. If you meet some one and you like them, don't be ashamed to ask if they are seeing anyone exclusively. And don't text people, call them and talk to them. And when ask them out, say something like following all in one sentence, maybe even practice saying it several times before you call:
    "Hey, I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight, and if you don't have any plans, would you like to go and **fill-in-the-blank**."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2012 3:22 AM GMT
    If only there were a way to get a gay mentor. (I'm in need of one too sometimes).
    Honestly it doesn't seem like he's as interested as you are. Sorryicon_sad.gif You can give him one more chance, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I'm almost the same as you, I'm not flamboyant, or give off any gay vibes, nor do I have a "gaydar." I'm the type to also feel depressed when things go wrong, but that doesn't necessarily make me feel like a girl. Just a disappointed man (Though I can see what you mean)
    Your best bet is just to get out there and keep trying. Every mistake we make gives us an answer to a question later on in life. Experience is key.
    One thing to consider also, men are a little more laid back, so he may like you, just doesn't think it's a bid deal. (I'm sure you'll encounter alot of that)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2012 3:27 AM GMT
    I have no idea how gay dating works!

    Regrettably, neither does anyone else. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    it doesn't.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 24, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    You're wasting your time with this guy.
    For whatever reason, he didn't want to meet up with you again.
    His loss.

    You seem like a really nice guy.
    And, I promise you that millions of gay guys would be out there looking for you, if they could only shut down their computers and go outside.

    But, maybe lots of guys hook up via computer.

    I've given up looking for "Mr. Right," so I don't know what to tell you.

    In the past, I picked up potential boyfriends/partners in gay bars, sex clubs, etc.
    And, I may be mistaken, but I think that most gay relationships start with sex, then dating, not the other way around.

    And, I still think that turning sex hook ups into friendship or love, is the best way to go. And, if the sex hook up doesn't turn into friendship or love, so what. Try, try again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    wait, wait, wait... i got this knowledge on lock-down and shit... I'm also contending with ambian in my system, so hear me out and read every fifth word. then whatever I type will definitely makes sense once you strings the selected words together in reverse order. See how that works?? ambian makes you a genius on the order of Prince, and shit. this is serious. and for reals!

    okay, this is what you do if you want every muthafucka sobbing about not hearing from you... it's manipulative and terrible, and you'll go to hell for it, but here we go!

    wait, what was I talking about?

    oh, right right right... ambien. No. for real. for real, for real.

    all you have to do to be desirable is to selectively unavailable. you give enough care/concern to imply interest, then you back off and coast. you keep feeding just the barest minimal amount of energy into the person you are manipulating, and then step away. you can drag this out for years.

    i'm not saying you should. but you didn't ask what's right. you asked how gay dating "works."
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Sep 24, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    Gay dating is a myth
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 24, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    gay dating is not a myth ... 2 out of 4 of my ltr's (I thnk there was only 4 .. seems like I'm forgetting someone) started out with a date. For the other two, the first one was a group of friends that got together for a night of drink and we left together and the other was a guy I picked up at a bar ... and only the two that started with a date were the ones I can consider as being the relationships that I would want to remember ... the other 2 I wish I could forget.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2012 5:25 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidwait, wait, wait... i got this knowledge on lock-down and shit... I'm also contending with ambian in my system, so hear me out and read every fifth word. then whatever I type will definitely makes sense once you strings the selected words together in reverse order. See how that works?? ambian makes you a genius on the order of Prince, and shit. this is serious. and for reals!

    okay, this is what you do if you want every muthafucka sobbing about not hearing from you... it's manipulative and terrible, and you'll go to hell for it, but here we go!

    wait, what was I talking about?

    oh, right right right... ambien. No. for real. for real, for real.

    all you have to do to be desirable is to selectively unavailable. you give enough care/concern to imply interest, then you back off and coast. you keep feeding just the barest minimal amount of energy into the person you are manipulating, and then step away. you can drag this out for years.

    i'm not saying you should. but you didn't ask what's right. you asked how gay dating "works."

    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    Careful with that stuff..