Black and White Wedding Attire

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2012 1:23 PM GMT
    I received a wedding invitation to a "Black and White" attire wedding. An argument developed among my friends and me as to what that means as far as men's attire. I read a Black and White Wedding the same as "Black Tie Optional." Several friends disagreed.

    Except for some unusal circumstances such as a beach wedding, I believe proper wedding attire for a man is a suit and tie. Most men don't have black suits. Dark gray or navy blue but not black. Thus, black attire for men is a tux. Since most men don't own a tux, a dark suit and dark tie is acceptable.

    My friends say all that is required is any black attire which could be black slacks and a black button down shirt or even a black T shirt. I said that if any of us had received a regular wedding invitation without any attire requested, we would never consider being so casual and would we would automatically wear suits.

    I was called a snob because I believe there at times that one should dress up and a wedding is one of them. What do my fellow RJ members think?
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Sep 24, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    I'd read that as formal attire, as in a black tie event. So, tuxes for men, black dresses for women.
    I'd rather overdress than be too casual. If in doubt I'd clarify with the host.
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    Sep 24, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    Hothouse saidIf in doubt I'd clarify with the host.

    Agree. I first take this to mean no color at all, strictly jet black & snow white; even grey & silver would be out. Second, the host needs to confirm the level of formality.

    If he'd prefer black bow tie, that's simple, the white is in your formal tux shirt. Or if a black business suit, wear a plain black or white necktie, pure white shirt or black with the white tie, white pocket square, again no color. You can check with a rental shop if you don't have these things. For a wedding you might even have a white carnation as a boutonniere if you want to be a bit flamboyant.

    If it's informal then black or white slacks with a black or white shirt, either open collar or contrasting black or white necktie. Do send us pics.

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    Sep 24, 2012 7:10 PM GMT
    The argument was purely academic. The couple getting married are kids and I doubt the groom even owns a suit. And, judging from their friends, I doubt any of them own a suit. I'm sure they have something very informal in mind: Black or white shirts and black slacks and, maybe, a tie.

    I was brought up with a strong sense of proper attire for specific functions. Unless it can't be helped, I alway wear a suit and tie to a wake and a funeral. I've instilled this sense to my sons who always raid my closet to go to a wake. I understand many kids are not brought up with an understanding how to dress. They have their own style based on what they and their peers wear. That is not to say that they don't have a sense of style and I'm sure some of their clothes cost a fortune. It is just that the classic styles alway are appropriate and show some maturity.

    It is true that "clothes doth make the man" and first impressions are lasting. I would have never dreamt of going to a job interview without wearing a suit and having polished shoes. That was part of what we learned in school. I still have a fashion guide from the 1980's on my shelf and I still refer to it from time to time. Maybe it is time for another reprint another edition of Dressing for Success.

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    Sep 24, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    gem01 saidI received a wedding invitation to a "Black and White" attire wedding.

    Did the invitation say that, or "Black and White Wedding Attire?" If the former, it's too vague and I'm sure you won't be the first to need clarification from the hosts. If the latter, presume suits or tuxedos but again it couldn't hurt to get clarification.
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    Sep 24, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    I read a "black and white" attire wedding to mean the bride and groom want people to wear black and white. If they wanted formal wear they should have specified "black tie." That means formal wear.

    To dictate the color that your guest wear is a bit pretentious in my book and if I didn't already have a black suit I would send my regrets that I am unable to attend. I'd then take the money I would have spent on a gift and an new suit and treated myself and a date to a really nice night on the town.

    What is it with brides today? They are absolutely self-absorbed nut cases.
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    Sep 25, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    ^
    If it's good enough for Truman Capote it's good enough for Bridezillas!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 25, 2012 6:32 AM GMT
    Do you know these people well enough to ask them what the fuck they mean by a "black and white" wedding ?

    They're the ones to ask, not us...
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    Sep 25, 2012 11:31 AM GMT
    Oh I know what the kids getting married think. They are going to be fine with black jeans and white T shirts. I just happened to mention in front of other friends what a B&W wedding means to me. For that I was flat out told I was wrong and that I was a snob. I presented my reasoning and was told again that I was wrong. In so many words, they told me that proper attire is whatever the invitee thinks is proper. Yet, none of these friends would not dress up for a wedding, period.

    As I said, this question is academic, not specific to this wedding. As for what I'll wear, I haven't yet decided. But, I will neither over dress nor under dress. It is a wedding afterall, and as I said above, there are certain social functions that one dresses up for.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    They sound like kids getting married and have no idea how to communicate. If its black tie its stated. Otherwise its interpreted.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 3:35 PM GMT
    Your friends are ignorant plebes if they actually think wearing a t-shirt is appropriate for a wedding.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    Not just Any old t-shirt.....icon_rolleyes.gif

    tuxedo t shirt
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    Turbobilly, I wouldn't be surprised to see such a shirt at the wedding.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Sep 25, 2012 7:37 PM GMT
    Maybe it's an 80s Ska wedding? You could go all retro. Skinny ties are back!