As a 20s/30s maybe 40s White person, do you feel a Black partner would be after your money?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 25, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    Lately I've started dating again (as in seeing other people now that I found out my current I/R relationship isn't going anywhere. Never was. Never will. I'm over it).

    I'm not sure if maybe I'm just misinterpreting things, and there could be a million other reasons for what I'm noticing. "Maybe they just not into you" would be the safe, generic excuse to use. But I am requesting a deeper thinking. Recently and over the course of meeting men in social situations, It seems like I'll meet someone who is seemingly doing successful or what not or has a decent job. For example, there is a guy I thought was pretty hot who goes to my gym. I went up to him (we happened to be walking out the door at the same time, so it wasn't confrontational) and made some brief small talk and we'd greet each other when passing.

    Well I then seen him (surprise) at a local gay bar downtown last weekend. I was like WOW. My gym isn't even a 'gay' gym technically. I chatted with him for about 5 minutes kind of just getting to know him or what not. But it almost seemed like he was totally disinterested and I could pick that up even though he was being polite. He drives a Corvette and looked about 40-50 y/o but kinda hot. His buddies were all White bear types, like sitting there looking like who the hell is this BLACK guy over here. I just sensed it

    That's just 1 scenario, but recently I've met 2 other guys as well...with apparently good jobs. One a waiter at a fine dining place and the other had something to do with airport can't recall. But they both gave me their number, but when I tried meeting with them, they cancelled or flaked out.

    It's like what the hell? Why the only time I meet someone of the majority race (White) in this town and it goes somewhere is if they are either 'trying' to get their life together or once had a great life and now just going thru the motions? I take good care of myself, have money in the bank, drive a decent car and have my own place. I think I'd deserve someone with similar but I just ended a relationship with a cute White guy with 2 kids, an x-wife remarried to another man and he lives with his parents???

    But when I try to meet someone with the qualifications I desire, they seem to put up walls in between us before we can even get to know each other. Why did you give me your number and not going to want to actually meet?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 25, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    response to topic title .... uhhhh ... what money?

    response to OP ... you'll meet someone ... hang in there for the right one and blow off the rest ... you know how the old saying goes "you gotta kiss a lot toads before you meet your prince" ... well there's a reason that saying is like hundreds of years old
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 25, 2012 7:06 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidresponse to topic title .... uhhhh ... what money?


    LOL, well maybe the word should have been 'resources' instead of money. I know it sounds silly...but sometimes I get the impression that some of these guys are putting their guards up in a passive way when they have a little bit going on for themselves.

    I mean, if it have to be like this...I'm going to simply just not communicate I/R with certain guys. And what I don't like is the fact that when I do meet someone who is attractive and White (sometimes even Latin) in this area, it's always have to be about what the fuck I can do for them. Give them rides. Take them out. Buy their drinks. Like I'm some kind of Black doormat. Fuck that bullshit. Get out of my face.

    Like one guy I met, he going to approach me and give me his number. And yeah he liked Black guys. But then he going to call me out saying I'm low-budget because I was interested in meeting for a simple 1st date rather than utilize his massage services. Like what the fuck are you mad for? you came up to me, flirted with me and gave me your number! And then my other user BF that I just dropped because he wanted to use me for rides going out all the time and babysit him when he's drunk. But whenever I needed him for little shit he was half-ass around, and only around when it benefited him.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 25, 2012 1:57 PM GMT
    I'm always on the look out for a sugar daddy.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Sep 25, 2012 3:31 PM GMT
    Didn't you know? All white guys think that about black guys.

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    *Sigh* You are far too insecure if you actually believe what you just posted.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 25, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    No, I think he'd be after my ass.icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 25, 2012 5:19 PM GMT
    Initial reaction to the title alone was : ROFL.. Response : Money grubbers come in all races man..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 25, 2012 11:12 PM GMT
    The last black guy I dated was only after my meth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 26, 2012 8:27 AM GMT
    Ant94538 saidInitial reaction to the title alone was : ROFL.. Response : Money grubbers come in all races man..


    I know that, but do THEY know that.

    TheBizMan saidDidn't you know? All white guys think that about black guys.

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    *Sigh* You are far too insecure if you actually believe what you just posted.


    It's not a belief. It's an inquiry formulated by an observation and personal experiences. I wasn't trying to be facetious. Think a bit deeper than just the title alone, both of you. But it seems to be a real pattern though. I want to be in an interracial relationship, but I also want it to be with someone atleast moderately successful. But when I do, it's like they real quick to pull-back when it comes down to taking things beyond small-talk and hookups.

    I know a guy who is younger and Black and lives with his White partner who is apparently well-off. But the guy is probably close to 50, and I personally don't really want that (dynamic) for myself although I have been in relationship with older before. I just haven't come across many 'well-off' guys 20s-35 types in interracial relationships with a Black person (in some cases, not even if the person is Black). I know those relationships are out there, but more often than not it's because they just so happen to work for the same company, not actually thru effort.

    I think the issue is many of them have this preconceived notion in the gay community that if you're Black and gay, you probably won't have much going on for yourself. And I know subconsciously some people believe that because looking around, it's apparent that most of them don't. I've dated/been friends with a fair share of Black dudes myself. They not about this life. And it sucks to have to be automatically grouped into that category before even getting to know me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    Gold diggers come in all races mate
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    Of course an escort thinks of a question like this.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    Plenty of rich black men and poor white men - so no different as a golddigger is a golddigger no matter their ethnicity!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidNo, I think he'd be after my ass.icon_razz.gif

    Can we have some photo proof? :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 7:24 AM GMT
    Why are you focusing on race so much?? Why is it that important for you to have an interracial relationship?
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Nov 06, 2012 7:44 AM GMT
    3rnpgs
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 7:52 AM GMT
    I'll have to ask my hot black cousin what he thinks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 7:53 AM GMT
    No, I don't believe age should by used an excuse/justifier of prejudice or racial profiling. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 9:32 AM GMT
    The flakiness you describe is the norm that most of us have experienced for a significant part of our dating histories, regardless of which races we were hanging out with at the time.. Your theory really is just grasping at straws. could it be you are attracted to superficial qualities and are therefore associating with superficial people?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 10:14 AM GMT


    If your asking in such context I'm not in the position to answer it , by general means my answer will be a-NO.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 11:05 AM GMT
    Try not mentioning anything even tangentially related to money or security. See if that goes over.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 12:17 PM GMT
    I want Guys that can buy Me soda and pie.


    Other than that I don't really care or pay attention.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 12:18 PM GMT
    Well, I personally don't care what ethnicity... if they can pull all the change out of my cup holder of my car - with all the spilled coffee and diet soda that has glued it down, they are more than welcome to it.

  • Nov 06, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    What a stupid thought.... Why would someone's color of their skin have anything to do with stealing your money?

    He could have a better job than you and have more money in the first place.

    You sound like an ignorant Romney supporter
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 12:34 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    UberBane saidOf course an escort thinks of a question like this.icon_rolleyes.gif


    +1

    Do these guys know you're an escort up front? Some guys are going to have a problem with this.


    Agreed,

    And yet, 'FuzzyPecs', you assume that it isn't your chosen career (is it actually your side job, or your sole/main income btw?) of trading sex for cash that is potentially the off-putting factor to conventional workers, whom, with almost near certainty, will predominantly have hang-ups about this type of service commerce- for a myriad of reasons (just or not), yet, you simply think this negative phenomenon is down solely to your race?

    Have you tried dating another escort? If not, why not?

    ALSO

    The age category of men you are trying to date seem much older than you (40-50). Have you not considered the possibility that older men from completely different generations would likely never see you as a serious long term prospect in any case, due to the vast chasm of life experiences and commonality?

    You seem to be trying to justify your worth as a partner in relation to how much money you have in the bank, the quality of you apartment/home, and the car that you drive. It makes you sound extremely superficial and possession orientated.

    You repeatedly refer to wanting a white man. It reeks of desperation and a lack of self-esteem in regards to your own ethnicity. We all have preferences, sure, but, it comes to a point where a person's race obsession in their desired partner says more about them than they may realise, and none of it is attractive or complimentary.

    When you take in these three points above, it seems more as if you are seeking a status symbol, and are more in love with finding a man who can offer you this, over finding a real connection regardless of their worldly possessions and skin colour.

    I'm pretty sure the guys you try to date get this vibe too. It's hardly surprising that they'd be at the very least suspicious of your motives, if not put off/repelled by your mentality/demeanour/behaviour.

    I'm not saying that race doesn't play any part at all in the possible deterrent factors for those whom you seek an LTR with, but, on the face of things, it certainly wouldn't be the only, nor, main factor even.

    At least you have control over the other factors though: food for thought.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    In terms of race threads on RealJock I think this one gets an award for being really racist towards blacks.

    I mean, Im white and Im offended by this title...