Nice Basket

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    Sep 26, 2012 8:00 AM GMT
    Nice Basket….my somewhat leading title inspired by noviceprime’s September 9, 2010 post entitled “I swallowed…”; a post with which I was totally suckered into “reading” and was rather disappointed to discover it had nothing in the least to do with Capistrano or birds or anything of the sort.

    Truth is, it was actually not a nice basket…it was a mediocre basket at best.

    Sure, at first glance, it appeared quite robust – all wrapped up and inviting…bulging with the goods…just asking to be explored. The kind of basket you want to go in with both hands and have a good root around….right?

    I eagerly approached and began to untie the cord that separated the giver from the receiver…leaning in….breath quickening…the anticipation growing…

    And damn if most of it wasn’t just stuffin’…honest-ta-god….and newspaper stuffin’ at that! Who does that?

    Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It was a lovely and generous gesture…and sure, I know the giving party purely wants more of my patronage in the coming year…but a lovely gesture all the same and I had no problem hauling the thing indoors and displaying its perceived bounty proudly on the dining table.

    Thing is, once the enhancement of the bow and the cellophane was off, it was all downhill from there on out.

    Lots of fruit…a good cheap filler as far as I am concerned, each dressed up in own little foam skirt. Since when does fruit need an outfit? It’s fruit.

    Wine…from China…oh yum!

    Breadsticks…past sell by date…2 months.

    Glazed walnuts. Fair enough…but walnuts give me mouth ulcers…but then again, who was to know that, so really can’t complain.

    Honey…the purest, clearest, whitest honey you have ever seen…downright virginal. Also came with attire...little gingham shower cap affair covering her lid. Will probably enjoy a bit of that on toast actually.

    Grape juice. Yet another wine substitute. Hmmmmmm, 2 for 2.

    Jar of Crème de Tomate sèchè. Yeah, that’s right.. Crème de Tomate sèchè. (sigh)……..Absolutely no idea. But now ya’ whisper that in my ear and we can see where it takes us…

    Chocolate – 2 varieties tucked at the back. Ho-ho! A GREEN AND BLACKS ORGANIC ASSORTMENT BOX AND A BLOCK-O-DARK WITH NUTS. Well alrighty. It was here and really only here the basket redeemed itself. Nearly finished both of those thanks…

    All this…sittin’ on top of a sheet of red felt…a sheet of felt almost level with the edge of this deceptive…wicker…vessel. And under that, the aforementioned newspaper…more newspaper than I could possibly get through in a week!

    That worst part of all of this…I feel I’ve been scammed…and you might say,”But it was a gift you ungrateful sod!”

    And all I say to you is…don’t get overly excited by the appearance of a big basket...they are not always what they seem to be. Approach warily ‘cause upon closer inspection, it could be mostly just stuffin’…

    (Crème de Tomate sèchè…….oooh baby!)








  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2012 10:33 AM GMT
    I thought this was gonna be about bicycles.

    bike-basket-05.jpg
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    Sep 26, 2012 1:22 PM GMT
    I think he really swallows! icon_eek.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 26, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    Is school out? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 26, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    can someone seriously sum that up in one sentence for me? please,..
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    Sep 26, 2012 2:34 PM GMT
    Import saidcan someone seriously sum that up on one sentence for me? please,..


    Big baskets good, small baskets not so good.
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    Sep 26, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    2eb006f6-d19d-430d-89a2-10d4c6ac15f4
    A tisket, a tasket.....whatcha got in the basket?
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    Sep 26, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    I kinda thought this was gonna get dirty...until he mentions what was in the basket icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 26, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    Isn't any basket better than no basket at all? icon_confused.gif

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    Sep 26, 2012 4:07 PM GMT
    showme saidIsn't any basket better than no basket at all? icon_confused.gif



    Not when your expecting something else icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 26, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    I don't mind when the basket has a lot of meat in it, but I could do without the carbs.

    RadRTT said
    showme saidIsn't any basket better than no basket at all? icon_confused.gif



    Not when your expecting something else icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 26, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    I guess ill take the booze! icon_cool.gif

    showme saidI don't mind when the basket has a lot of meat in it, but I could do without the carbs.

    RadRTT said
    showme saidIsn't any basket better than no basket at all? icon_confused.gif



    Not when your expecting something else icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 26, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    Well at least there wasn't any cheese found while unwrapping that basket.

    Unless you're into that, of course...then never-mind.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 26, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said2eb006f6-d19d-430d-89a2-10d4c6ac15f4
    A tisket, a tasket.....whatcha got in the basket?

    Scruffy .... you look so good in a tie ... now come'ere and let me take that off icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 26, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    That's Scruffy?!!??!?icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

    AMoonHawk said
    Scruffypup said2eb006f6-d19d-430d-89a2-10d4c6ac15f4
    A tisket, a tasket.....whatcha got in the basket?

    Scruffy .... you look so good in a tie ... now come'ere and let me take that off icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 26, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    How YOU doin' ?
    129142182259006320

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    Sep 26, 2012 5:06 PM GMT
    Obvious who's the top and whose the bottom...what an ass!
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    Sep 27, 2012 2:02 AM GMT
    showme saidIsn't any basket better than no basket at all? icon_confused.gif



    Not when your last experience was a living that's what she said joke.
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    Sep 27, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    showme saidIsn't any basket better than no basket at all? icon_confused.gif



    I suppose occasionally less is more...

    But when you see what else is out there...what others are getting...size and quality can really make a difference!