Is it OK or normal to be gay and not like anal sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2012 3:39 PM GMT
    I'm definitely gay and attracted to men in every sense but I really don't like having anal sex. I don't enjoy it what so ever, it hurts, DOES NOT feel good whatsoever and just doesn't feel natural, and it kinda grosses me out. I also do like to give it either?

    Is this normal? I feel like it will become a problem down the road if I meet someone serious?
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    Sep 26, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    I am 56 and never had anal sex ( receive or give ), it is something that is not appealing to me .
    Is it normal ? Bloody oath , i don't know , but for sure it had been a problem along the passing years , as most of the men want it ..
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 26, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    Homosexuality by definition is in no way tied to anal sex. You're attracted to men for a number of physical and emotional reasons, but that does not dictate what you do in bed. Anal sex is so prominent because, gay or straight, most men still like a hole to work with. I'm no more surprised there are gay men who don't like anal sex than I'm surprised there are straight men and women who don't like it. It's a behavior, not an orientation.

    Since it is so prominent in the gay community, however, your lack of interest may cause complications in relationships down the road, but that really just depends on the person. There are many wonderful ways to be close to someone AND come to orgasm without anal sex. Let this aversion to anal sex stimulate your creativity! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    i use to not like it but this one dude was kinda a douche and made me do it so after like the 10th time i kinda started liking it, the douche is gone he had a small cock anyway and now im ready to try it with someone new, but i still cant get it up when i get asked to do it, guess im a bottom when it comes to guysicon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 5:54 AM GMT
    Just because your gay doesnt mean you have to be this way or that way, we gays tend to be specialized in what we like dont like... leather twink bear top bottom oral anal etc... find a guy into what your into and explore what brings you pleasure bud!
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    Sep 27, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    It's a cart before the horse thing. You're not gay because you have anal sex, you're gay(ish) because you're attracted to men.
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    Sep 27, 2012 2:07 PM GMT
    Who's the arbiter of "normal" in the gay community and what is the definition of that word? I hate going to gay bars. Does that make me "abnormal" since the majority of gay guys like gay bars? Don't worry about what other people want, like, or expect in terms of sex; worry about what you want, like, or expect.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Sep 27, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    Sexual orientation is not about specific sex acts.
    Sexual orientation is about which sex you are attracted to.
    It's perfectly OK to be gay and not "like" or perform anal sex.
    You could also be gay and not have sex at all.
    Is it normal? - for you, yes. There is no sex acts that are "normal" or correct - it's what you enjoy that matters. Some sex acts may be more commonly performed than others - I'm just not sure the word "normal" is a good one to use in this context.
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    Sep 27, 2012 3:39 PM GMT
    Strange. Everyone has their preferences though!
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Sep 27, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidHomosexuality by definition is in no way tied to anal sex. You're attracted to men for a number of physical and emotional reasons, but that does not dictate what you do in bed. Anal sex is so prominent because, gay or straight, most men still like a hole to work with. I'm no more surprised there are gay men who don't like anal sex than I'm surprised there are straight men and women who don't like it. It's a behavior, not an orientation.

    Since it is so prominent in the gay community, however, your lack of interest may cause complications in relationships down the road, but that really just depends on the person. There are many wonderful ways to be close to someone AND come to orgasm without anal sex. Let this aversion to anal sex stimulate your creativity! icon_biggrin.gif


    Zing! Best answer ever!

    I do like anal sex, though. I'm mostly a top.. and like what he posted.. there's just something great about penetrating a hot man. But to each his own!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2012 4:22 PM GMT
    I can't stand anal sex. I've never even tried but I've never been with a guy and if I do meet someone, anal sex is something I don't want to ever try. I watched gay porn and 2 hot guys worshipping there bodies and I get turned on a lot and then they start having anal sex and that's when I switch my laptop off and say "well they just had to ruin that didn't they?"
    I really don't know what kind of sex do I like, I'd like to wrestle a guy naked and roll around. That would be great for me.
  • hanzo83

    Posts: 457

    Sep 27, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidI'm definitely gay and attracted to men in every sense but I really don't like having anal sex. I don't enjoy it what so ever, it hurts, DOES NOT feel good whatsoever and just doesn't feel natural, and it kinda grosses me out. I also do like to give it either?

    Is this normal? I feel like it will become a problem down the road if I meet someone serious?


    What do you mean is it okay lol? If it's what you want then of course it's okay. I haven't had sex with a man yet so I know I could live without it. I could probably be happy doing everything else, but I'm only saying that now lol. My mind could change completely once I do it.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 27, 2012 11:55 PM GMT
    I like it, but that doesn't mean that you have to. Sexuality is about accepting what you like and like to do, no one can can tell you what that is. I do have to say though that one of my favorite pleasures is having my prostate massaged by a hard cock or dildo! I am sure you will find someone to have a satisfactory sexual life with.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 28, 2012 12:13 AM GMT
    1). You're 23, so calm down. I only liked oral from 17 years old until I was 24. I had tried anal a few times before 24 but didn't care for it. Then I started to slowly like it.

    2). Not coincidentally, this is the time when I started to feel COMFORTABLE with myself. I now realize that my hangup on anal was just my expression of my internalized homophobia. Anal, either topping or bottoming, feels absolutely amazing physically (when done properly), so it can't be a physical reason you dislike it. You probably dislike it because you perceive it as "nasty," "dirty," "immoral," "too gay," etc. It's basic psych 101. Give it time, you'll get over your hangup with anal. I can't think of a healthy psychological condition where a person would not at least enjoy anal sex. Same is true for heterosexuals who don't enjoy anal, it's internalized phobic expressing itself in a disdain and rejection of anal.

    3). Having said that I think you'll learn to enjoy anal, doesn't mean that you'll necessarily continue to do it. For whatever reason, perhaps liking oral more, you might not continue anal. But preferring oral over anal is entirely different from "hating" anal and doing oral as a backup.

    In short, relax, you'll come around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2012 1:45 PM GMT
    I know of guys who don't like anal sex, and there are three ways in which they have sex instead of getting up a butt.

    First, you can give mutual hand jobs to each other. That's simple and obvious enough.

    Second, you can have oral sex. I know some women don't like it at all, but I've yet to come across a gay guy who doesn't.

    Third, you can do what is called frottage, or frotting. To frot with another guy is basically to just rub your cocks against each other. This can be done while holding both in one of your hands, free and sliding against each other (like sword fighting), or with your bodies pressed against each other, rubbing your dicks together.

    Generally, I would expect all three to occur in the same session.

    To me, as long as you meet a guy who you have a mutual connection with, I don't see why they wouldn't be happy with getting a load off with another guy, regardless of how it goes down.

    I've never had sex with another guy before, but I definitely don't mind anal sex (giving and getting), as long as both of us get cleaned out before we start. Either way, I'm much more concerned with meeting Mr Right than I am with the way he'd want to have sex.
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Sep 29, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    warrior123 saidI can't stand anal sex. I've never even tried but I've never been with a guy and if I do meet someone, anal sex is something I don't want to ever try. I watched gay porn and 2 hot guys worshipping there bodies and I get turned on a lot and then they start having anal sex and that's when I switch my laptop off and say "well they just had to ruin that didn't they?"
    I really don't know what kind of sex do I like, I'd like to wrestle a guy naked and roll around. That would be great for me.

    wow and ur so cute, i want to show u how good it can be....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    Anal sex is overrated. Muscles are not. icon_wink.gif
  • eli_bro86

    Posts: 1

    Oct 05, 2012 10:47 AM GMT
    I'm not into anal as well. Well, never been in a relationship before, so can't really say whether it's a problem. But I'm sure there are others out there who aren't into anal as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2012 4:54 PM GMT
    What's the matter with kids today?
    OK, if you don't like anal sex, don't have it. Like everyone else has said, that's perfectly "normal" for a gay man.
    However, there are a lot of nerve endings down there, not to mention the prostate gland which gives the most sensation when you have an orgasm. So, unless you are totally not into experimentation, try using a (well-lubed) vibrator to stimulate that area. Yes, guys use them as well as girls. You may never go back to trying anal sex, but you may just experience something new and pleasurable to incorporate into your sex activities.