The Wisdom of 50 Cent: Four Steps To Stop Masturbating

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    Sep 27, 2012 7:59 PM GMT
    From the tweets of 50 Cent:

    Masturbation is a sin you stop right now fool!!! lol God is watching you#SMS

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012
    I didn't write the bible fool. just stop lolRT @BlueandGold94: @50cent why is it a sin? It's all natural…

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012
    Step to stop masturbating

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012
    Step 1. To avoid the urge to masturbate stop going to porn sites.

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012
    Step 2. Make a conscious decision not to turn your head after people walk by you.

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012
    Step 3. Do not go to strip clubs

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012
    Step 4. Do not look at lust filled magazines

    (@50cent) September 26, 2012

    First of all, when did 50 Cent turn into Mr. T? And why stop with 4 steps? Add your own.
    Step 5: Chop off your sinful thumb and pinky. It's hard to jack with 3 fingers.
    Step 6: Think of your mom and dad doing it.
    Step 7: Think of 50 Cent naked.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 27, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    He forgot, you're supposed to use your hands for prayer, not for SINNNNicon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 8:03 PM GMT
    Step 8.) Think about a vagina. icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    Pledge to not masturbate while driving.
    Only allow yourself to masturbate to Golden Girls reruns.
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    Sep 27, 2012 8:23 PM GMT
    ugliest-man-in-world.jpg
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    Sep 27, 2012 8:31 PM GMT
    Coach_Mike said
    Step 5: Chop off your sinful thumb and pinky. It's hard to jack with 3 fingers.


    I could make it work. Also I own a fleshjack which I can stuff between a couple pillows icon_neutral.gif Look ma no hands!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 27, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    There's nothing in the bible that says you can't masturbate.
    More people just talking out their asses about something they know absolutely nothing about
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 27, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidThere's nothing in the bible that says you can't masturbate.
    More people just talking out their asses about something they know absolutely nothing about


    Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember learning that in the hebrew tradition it was believed that you're not supposed to "spill your seed." Women were thought of as little more than vessels to carry a baby, and sperm was thought to be a person/seed to be planted in the woman. That's why masturbation/homosexuality are sins in the old testament. icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    AMoonHawk saidThere's nothing in the bible that says you can't masturbate.
    More people just talking out their asses about something they know absolutely nothing about


    Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember learning that in the hebrew tradition it was believed that you're not supposed to "spill your seed." Women were thought of as little more than vessels to carry a baby, and sperm was thought to be a person/seed to be planted in the woman. That's why masturbation/homosexuality are sins in the old testament. icon_eek.gif


    Onan got in trouble for spilling his seed. That's why masturbation used to be called "Onanism."

    http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan

    And based on my extensive google research on this topic, there are a lot of Catholic scholars who believe not only that contraception is a sin, but that even pulling out is a perversion of god's will, otherwise god wouldn't have killed Onan.icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 9:37 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    AMoonHawk saidThere's nothing in the bible that says you can't masturbate.
    More people just talking out their asses about something they know absolutely nothing about


    Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember learning that in the hebrew tradition it was believed that you're not supposed to "spill your seed." Women were thought of as little more than vessels to carry a baby, and sperm was thought to be a person/seed to be planted in the woman. That's why masturbation/homosexuality are sins in the old testament. icon_eek.gif

    Then do you sin when you spill your seed during a wet dream? How do your prevent wet dreams? The best way I know is by regular masturbation - uh-oh! icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 27, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidStep 8.) Think about a vagina. icon_neutral.gif


    +1
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    Sep 28, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    Mike... I actually have thought about 50 Cent naked icon_redface.gif
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    Sep 28, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    Was it a joke his tweets or is he serious?!
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    Sep 28, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    Damn yo, thats real talk dawg, T money, nizzle, skrilla fo realz yo
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 28, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    showme said
    HottJoe said
    AMoonHawk saidThere's nothing in the bible that says you can't masturbate.
    More people just talking out their asses about something they know absolutely nothing about


    Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember learning that in the hebrew tradition it was believed that you're not supposed to "spill your seed." Women were thought of as little more than vessels to carry a baby, and sperm was thought to be a person/seed to be planted in the woman. That's why masturbation/homosexuality are sins in the old testament. icon_eek.gif


    Onan got in trouble for spilling his seed. That's why masturbation used to be called "Onanism."

    http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan

    And based on my extensive google research on this topic, there are a lot of Catholic scholars who believe not only that contraception is a sin, but that even pulling out is a perversion of god's will, otherwise god wouldn't have killed Onan.icon_eek.gif

    I believes it reads "Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and ... when he went in unto his brother's wife ... he spilled it on the ground.... And the thing which he did displeased the Lord;

    That says nothing about masturbating .... he was having sex with the woman and pulled out and shot into the dirt .... that is not masturbating

    And women have no seed so there is no possible way to correlate that to masturbating.
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    Sep 28, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    I believes it reads "Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and ... when he went in unto his brother's wife ... he spilled it on the ground....


    fuck, that's hot.