18 year old and 33 year old dating

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2012 12:41 PM GMT
    Tell me what you think about age differences and what not! Id like to know your thoughts are on age difference. I recently just got out of a relationship with a 33 year old and we broke up because of our age /:
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    Sep 28, 2012 12:48 PM GMT
    People rarely state the real reason for breakups. I think that's just an easy thing to blame it on. If you were enjoying each other's company, your age would not even enter your minds.
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    Sep 28, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    I see no issue with a difference in age when dating. I typically go out with guys almost 10 years older than me. However, there is often times a big difference between an 18 year old and a 21 year old IMO. 18 year olds are just now getting out on their own, can't drink yet, etc. I guess the reason I feel this way is because I changed a lot in the years 18-23 because big phases of life happened then (graduate HS, live on my own, partying, graduating college, then REALLY living on my own). I am not trying to draw conclusions about you or other people your age, it's just my experience.

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    Sep 28, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    The thing is we dated for 4 months. Why would he keep it going if age really bothered him? I feel like its an excuse and he met someone older and stuff
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    Sep 28, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    Love can come in any form and age. Most likely there were other issues he didn't want to deal with. Otherwise he wouldn't have kept it going for so long.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 28, 2012 3:35 PM GMT
    33-18=15 ... even though that seems like a lot ... and it is when the two of you are both young, I think the generation gap gets a little closer when you get older, like 55-40=15. However at 18 you are just getting out of high school and hopefully just starting your college years where as at 33 your life is a carreer and buying a house .... too much of a difference that doesn't make it fair for either. At 18 you should be going out and having fun and enjoying your new wings. You have been under the domain of your parents for 18 years and now it is your time to fly and experience the world. At 33 you should now have acquired some wisdom and should know there are responsibilities in life that you have own up and you need to think more about stability for your old age. And my feelings are, while the sex may be great and there may be really strong feelings for each other, the two differences I mentioned doesn't make if fair for either party. Someone is going to have to bend and they are going to be loosing out on a great part of life. But everyone is different, so in some cases it will work but in others it doesn't. I just think the 18 y/o is missing out on a lot of life by not learning walk on their own two feet. And the 33 y/o may try to impose his needs of settle down on the 18 y/o and there will be problems later when the 18 y/o gets older because they will realize they missed out on a lot and will try to recapture that which may or may not make a difference in the future.
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    Sep 28, 2012 8:31 PM GMT
    18 is SO young. Not sure why a 33 year old would do that. I mean, you're a good looking guy but it's got to be hard to find something in common for the two of you. Hey I like older men too, but I would stick to guys my own age for a few years. At least till early 20's. It will be good for you.icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 28, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    18 is SO young. Not sure why a 33 year old would do that. I mean, you're a good looking guy but it's got to be hard to find something in common for the two of you. Hey I like older men too, but I would stick to guys my own age for a few years. At least till early 20's. It will be good for you.icon_smile.gif


    PS: This 18 y/o is dating a 65y/o!
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/17/jamie-kuntz-gay-college-football-player-kissing-boyfriend_n_1890320.html

    Maybe it CAN work!
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    Sep 28, 2012 8:41 PM GMT
    calguy456 said18 is SO young. Not sure why a 33 year old would do that. I mean, you're a good looking guy but it's got to be hard to find something in common for the two of you. Hey I like older men too, but I would stick to guys my own age for a few years. At least till early 20's. It will be good for you.icon_smile.gif


    PS: This 18 y/o is dating a 65y/o!
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/17/jamie-kuntz-gay-college-football-player-kissing-boyfriend_n_1890320.html

    Maybe it CAN work!


    Thanks for sharing!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2012 10:12 PM GMT
    My first date was with a 30 year old man and I had just turned 18. He was my first sexual experience and it was lovely. We dated a few times, he was a great guy, I learned a lot from him, and wherever he is he should live and be well. But we both knew it couldn't be long-term - we were at very different stages of life. THAT'S what most people mean when they say things like "we broke up because of our age".
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    Sep 28, 2012 10:18 PM GMT
    The OP's profile says he's 19.

    Maybe lying had something to do with the breakup? Just a hunch...
  • TadPohl

    Posts: 259

    Sep 28, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    I'd like to tell you that age "ain't nuthin but a number," but what generally creates a rift in the relationship is the difference in life experience.
    No matter how mature an 18 year old is, chances are that his 33 year old counterpart has already lived and learned from the drama. The older person's perspective will be different because they have witnessed and lived through more. More patience is expected out of him versus the 18 year who is seeing things through fresh(er) eyes.

    There is a generation gap that can not be denied... and it would take a herculean amount of work to make this kind of relationship work.

    Not impossible, but extremely difficult.
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    Sep 28, 2012 10:52 PM GMT
    TadPohl saidI'd like to tell you that age "ain't nuthin but a number," but what generally creates a rift in the relationship is the difference in life experience.
    No matter how mature an 18 year old is, chances are that his 33 year old counterpart has already lived and learned from the drama. The older person's perspective will be different because they have witnessed and lived through more. More patience is expected out of him versus the 18 year who is seeing things through fresh(er) eyes.

    There is a generation gap that can not be denied... and it would take a herculean amount of work to make this kind of relationship work.

    Not impossible, but extremely difficult.

    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    Well said..BUT...The fact that i have parents way older than i am bridges a generation gap(??) My dad would have been 85 this year and i'm 37.. My closest friends are 10 years+ older than i am..my "closer" friends my age or younger are still experiencing life so they come and go..

    ...Life experiences regardless of age can make a relationship work.. !!
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    Oct 03, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    AlexJock89 saidTell me what you think about age differences and what not! Id like to know your thoughts are on age difference. I recently just got out of a relationship with a 33 year old and we broke up because of our age /:
  • hanzo83

    Posts: 457

    Oct 06, 2012 2:38 AM GMT
    I'm no relationship expert at all but there can be a huge difference in the maturity levels and thought processes between a teen and an older man. I had a few younger guys who liked me before but I couldn't get into them. They had growing up to do in some ways but that might not have been due to their age. Every person is different but the main thing that's needed for any relationship is to have enough common interests.

    I don't think having an attraction to each other and having sex is enough. You have to be able to talk to each other and do other things together. It should be easy to be together and have fun. I think that's what it comes down to since age is really just a number.
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    Oct 06, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    It's only okay if you dated three year olds when you were 18.
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 08, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    Age REALLY DOES matter-at least when dealing with people in the 18-25 year range. I mean lets not even talk about the whole HS and college experience, the whole going out into the real world with a real job, etc. Strictly speaking relationship-wise:

    Gays go through the experimental or "slut phase" between 18 (at least 7 years ago when I was going through it with all my friends) and 22. They may have "boyfriends" in that time, but we all have those friends crying they want a boyfriend, they have a boyfriend for a few weeks or months, rarely coming close to a year and it ends-rinse and repeat. Generally these are years of infidelity as well-not because guys are dogs or anything dark like that, but because these are years of sexual realization since homosexuality in most cases is suppressed until after the HS years (due to how classmates treat gays combined with the mental fragility of individuals during these years).

    Do you ever want to be someones first, second, or third boyfriend? Hell no, you want them to experience cheating (both perpetrating and learning the consequences, as well as being perpetrated against and knowing how it feels), what long term commitment means, and what makes a healthy-and more importantly, an UNhealthy relationship.

    I really would not take this breakup to heart at all, while you can read what I am about to say to you and roll your eyes-you do not want a serious relationship at your age. Go out and live, if for no other reason than to prepare yourself for an actual relationship when it is time. You have to rise and fall and learn the ropes-embrace that fact and it will mold you into an amazing individual-I wear that badge on my chest most proudly.

    And as a side, your ages may not be that horrible now at 18 and 33, but what about when hes 40 and you are 25?, when hes 50 and you are 35? At your moment, frozen in time, the 15 years is not that bad, but you both are going to hit the next peaks of your maturity and it is then that the maturity level (mainly on his side) can tip the scales. I mean the fact that you are asking this question on this forum tells me that you have a decent head on your shoulders, that you are examining the situation, you should have no problem finding someone closer to your age and experience it all with someone on the same playing field.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Oct 08, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    How taboo!
  • aumsean77

    Posts: 37

    Oct 08, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    I've dated older guys (I'm 34) and from experience, (and just MY experience), the ones I met seem to want someone submissive, almost like a trophy. They aren't keen on younger guys with brains or anyone with their act together. Again, just MY experience. Not sure what was going on in your guys' head, but these were the types of older guys I dated.
  • localstud

    Posts: 4

    Oct 08, 2012 2:25 AM GMT
    Every situation is different. Some people are mature at 18 just like a 30 or 40 year old Some 30 yr olds are still at 18. The differences you had wnet beyond sex attraction.

    For example,for me, I still think like a 25 yr old andhave nothing in common with those my age or older. So to them and for me I am the "young" stud. On the other hand an 18 yr old dude is one of my fellow dudes and he then can be my stud. Granted I have achieved life experiences and can provide good info for someone younger. Not sure as per a perm relationship, ive neverhad one. But for sexual purposes its where both of your minds ar at. A60 yrd old can be fit as Adonis and actually be a 25 yr old and a 20 yrd could be 50+ in his mind. So it is all relative.
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    Oct 08, 2012 2:26 AM GMT
    Sounds like the perfect thread to be featured on an episode of "To Catch a Predator"...icon_confused.gif