1st gay hookup

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    So Im a bisexual man and I just had my 1st sexual exp with one of my "str8" buddies at his place...the problem is he has a gf and now I feel bad for her not knowing that we hooked up. I asked him numerous time b4 we did anything to make sure he knew what he was doing and he agreed he wanted to. Should I feel bad or just get over it?!?
  • hdurdinr

    Posts: 699

    Sep 30, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    if you feel bad because she didn't know about it then don't do it again with that guy. Plain and simple. Find someone who is single or in some sort of open relationship.
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    Sep 30, 2012 2:43 PM GMT
    Yeah, you're going to have to go back to being friends again. You may come to understand why I never have had sex with any of my friends, unless they'd become a boyfriend... which was also a bad idea for me. But as long as you guys can both keep being friends you should be fine. Though I do recommend putting him emotionally at an arm's length if you desire him at all. I do with guys I like, cause sooner or later things will be said and done, that could be misunderstood, and can either stop being friends, or as you said, "just get over it".
    Foremost, take care of yourself first. No matter what your friend is thinking is out of your control. Be kind and respectful, but know that you can't determine the outcome of his actions. You've got to be okay with this, or you'll be consumed by "woulda, shoulda, and coulda" for the next... however long. IMHO*
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 30, 2012 2:47 PM GMT
    Don't get over it.... if you do, you will be like all the other guys out there that don't really care.. aren't real and aren't too concerned about whats right and wrong.

    Keep your own senses... think... in advance before you act... on all levels.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    Feel bad then get over it..?
    Try too keep him around as a friend..and only a friend..
    Clearly he's not "Very Straight" and could be using you as an experiment..??

    ..Forgive yourself..forgive him..and keep sex out of the equation..! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    I think you need to take this story to Jerry Springer. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 3:51 PM GMT
    Ohhhh....that's your belt.......icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 4:01 PM GMT
    turbobilly saidOhhhh....that's your belt.......icon_sad.gif

    ROTFL... Thought the same thing too..
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    Sep 30, 2012 4:15 PM GMT

    You managed to break all 3 rules of hookup sex in one shot icon_eek.gif
    Don't hook up with friends.
    Don't hook up with guys who are in a relationship.
    Don't hook up with straight guys.

    There is just too much drama, remorse and guilt that can get you and the other guy into trouble.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 5:47 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 saidSo Im a bisexual man and I just had my 1st sexual exp with one of my "str8" buddies at his place...the problem is he has a gf and now I feel bad for her not knowing that we hooked up. I asked him numerous time b4 we did anything to make sure he knew what he was doing and he agreed he wanted to. Should I feel bad or just get over it?!?


    depends on your morals. if anything he should feel bad but everyone makes mistakes. just pray she doesnt find out (very nasty situation to be in the middle of.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    LVmoto78 said
    You managed to break all 3 rules of hookup sex in one shot icon_eek.gif
    Don't hook up with friends.
    Don't hook up with guys who are in a relationship.
    Don't hook up with straight guys.

    There is just too much drama, remorse and guilt that can get you and the other guy into trouble.



    Didnt know there were rules in hookup sex but I guess I did break them all...luckily we kinda just brushed cuz we were both un the influence so its no drama. Just hope he doesn't tell his gf because she was already jealous of our "bromance" before we even hooked up!
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    Sep 30, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    Anocxu said
    turbobilly saidOhhhh....that's your belt.......icon_sad.gif

    ROTFL... Thought the same thing too..

    Me too. Before even reading the OP I had to click on the profile for a closer look.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    how can you go back to just being friends? unless they didnt enjoy it. that temptation will always be there especially when she is away.
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    Sep 30, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    tigga87 saidhow can you go back to just being friends? unless they didnt enjoy it. that temptation will always be there especially when she is away.


    U think so man? They are in a long distance relationship and its not working out too well obviously
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    his relationship is not your responsibility.

    When guys say "I have a boy/girlfriend" they are just asking you to take part of the responsibility of their decision off their shoulders.

    "Why are you telling me this?" is probably the best thing to say to someone who informs you of an existing relationship.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    GonzoTheGreat saidhis relationship is not your responsibility.

    When guys say "I have a boy/girlfriend" they are just asking you to take part of the responsibility of their decision off their shoulders.

    "Why are you telling me this?" is probably the best thing to say to someone who informs you of an existing relationship.



    Thanks man makes me feel alot better!
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Sep 30, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    The fact that it bothers you shows you have a soul. He's an adult. He's the one who chose to cheat, so it says more about him than you. That said, if you don't want to be a home wrecker then don't have sex with someone in a relationship. Would you want to be in the same position as the girlfriend? Probably not. So, if this is why you feel bad, then listen to what your conscience is telling you and learn from the experience. it's okay to make mistakes, what's not okay is not learning from them.

    There are plenty of single guys out there. Play with them next time.
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 said
    tigga87 saidhow can you go back to just being friends? unless they didnt enjoy it. that temptation will always be there especially when she is away.


    U think so man? They are in a long distance relationship and its not working out too well obviously


    long distance sucks. telephone convos just doesnt cut it with me but great for you though if you like him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    So, you knew he had a girlfriend, but you went through with it anyway?

    What is the purpose of this thread? To make yourself feel better for putting your own desires ahead of someone else's? Unless, he's in an open relationship, this was a really douchey thing to do. Ask anyone who has ever been cheated on. (I haven't.)

    It's all too common these days to shrug off being "the other guy" as something that's not your problem. If you have sex with a cheater, then you're just as culpable. Feel bad. Then learn from it.
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidSo, you knew he had a girlfriend, but you went through with it anyway?

    What is the purpose of this thread? To make yourself feel better for putting your own desires ahead of someone else's? Unless, he's in an open relationship, this was a really douchey thing to do. Ask anyone who has ever been cheated on. (I haven't.)

    It's all too common these days to shrug off being "the other guy" as something that's not your problem. If you have sex with a cheater, then you're just as culpable. Feel bad. Then learn from it.


    Actually he was the one who suggested and I asked him numerous times before we did anything was he sure he wanted to do this. I dont feel bad for doing it I feel bad that he is stringing his gf along and he possibly is gay or bi
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    What you did was wrong.

    What he did was even worse.

    What you both did was terrible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    You helped him cheat on his gf. So yeah, you should feel bad about it. The past is in the past, so I hope you just learn and don't do it again.
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    Sep 30, 2012 7:51 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 saidActually he was the one who suggested and I asked him numerous times before we did anything was he sure he wanted to do this. I dont feel bad for doing it I feel bad that he is stringing his gf along and he possibly is gay or bi


    You're helping him string her along. What you did was wrong. How are you going to feel if she finds out? You can't really be that much of a sociopath. It doesn't matter how many times you asked him. That doesn't magically absolve you of guilt. She still gets hurt so you can get your rocks off.
  • unicoman1

    Posts: 822

    Sep 30, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    Depends what your looking for... But if he has a G/F, He truly doesn't feel all too terrible about it. Lay off for a bit, and things will work or unwork itself out between the two of them. Hope it was a good time though! :-)
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    Oct 01, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    unicoman1 saidDepends what your looking for... But if he has a G/F, He truly doesn't feel all too terrible about it. Lay off for a bit, and things will work or unwork itself out between the two of them. Hope it was a good time though! :-)


    I guess its safe to say im just as wrong as my friend was but best solution is to best move forward and act as if it never happened. If he decides to tell her then I guess we will have to cross that threshold.