Experimenting?

  • booboolv

    Posts: 203

    Sep 30, 2012 6:43 PM GMT
    This may have been discussed before, and if so I apologize.

    I've seen numerous warnings to various posters that read along the lines of saying to avoid a certain guy, or type of guy because "he is just using you to see if he's gay," or "he is just experimenting with you," etc.

    I understand the cautionary warning, and I even can appreciate it. But why is it wrong to "experiment" with someone who doesn't know if they're gay, or bi, or just curious and want to experience gay sex to determine their certainty?

    People have sex, gay and straight all the time and decide they would never want to have sex with that partner again. Maybe it just wasn't good. Maybe it was not want you wanted. But why such caution for someone who wants to live the experience, even if it is only on the DL, or just a one time tryout?
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:47 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with letting a curious guy experiment on the DL.

    It only becomes wrong if you get emotionally attached and chain him in your basement for future "experiments." icon_twisted.gif
  • booboolv

    Posts: 203

    Sep 30, 2012 6:50 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThere's nothing wrong with letting a curious guy experiment on the DL.

    It only becomes wrong if you get emotionally attached and chain him in your basement for future "experiments." icon_twisted.gif


    Damn... OK, those are nice chains though. icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 30, 2012 6:53 PM GMT
    booboolv said
    paulflexes saidThere's nothing wrong with letting a curious guy experiment on the DL.

    It only becomes wrong if you get emotionally attached and chain him in your basement for future "experiments." icon_twisted.gif


    Damn... OK, those are nice chains though. icon_twisted.gif
    That's because even twisted gays have good style. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2012 7:01 PM GMT
    its wrong for a guy in a relationship to experiment outside of his relationship if he hasn't sorted that out with the other half.

    Otherwise, have at it and keep the emotions in check
  • booboolv

    Posts: 203

    Oct 01, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidits wrong for a guy in a relationship to experiment outside of his relationship if he hasn't sorted that out with the other half.

    Otherwise, have at it and keep the emotions in check


    Good advice. Thanks for your input.
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    Oct 01, 2012 12:43 AM GMT
    Those warnings about a guy that is just experimenting usually come in threads where the OP is looking for a relationship, not a hook up. There is nothing wrong with getting out there and experimenting if you are still discovering your orientation, but when it is with a person that has a relationship in my mind, it usually only ends in disappointment and a broken heart for that person.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Oct 01, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    My brain is fuzzy at the moment, but it seems that the term "experimenting" has a few contexts around here.

    Folks seem to be fascinated with the idea of some outsider to their scene approaching them. They are titillated by the thought of "experimenting."

    Others seem to think of the word when performing some act that is not their normal kink.

    Still others think of anything other than a life commitment as a risky and untoward adventure. This particular set also wallows in its own, self-preceived, maturity and social responsibility.

    Ask any scientist, trial and error is a legit technique. Of course a good scientist will design an experiment too, rather than just do random casting all the time.

    Progress is difficult without experimentation.
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    Jan 20, 2015 3:41 PM GMT
    This ain't about guy sex,,, this is what a friend told me,,, he is gay and divorced with two kids,, he sees his kids twice a month.

    Anyways, I talked to him last Saturday and he says he knows his daughter is gay or experimenting.

    Says he caught her in her room with another girl,,, as he tells it.. and I quote him.. "My daughter was in bed with another girl, the other girl was doing the pussy eating".

    Says he didn't freak but told her to keep need room door shut all the time.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Jan 22, 2015 5:28 AM GMT
    Within the typical gay hook up context, there is really little you can do to confirm that the guy is "experimenting" (or not)?

    I have not seen too many dudes walking around with graphic t-shirts saying "I am experimenting..." on them.

    You hook up with the best available dude from your point of view, and you pick it up from there. It may go good. And may go not so good. We all know that.

    So, his experimenting or not, is something that comes with the territory. Hooking up with a dude does not mean that you agreed to spend the rest of your days together. So, if you do not like the way it goes, you move on.

    Few guys advertise on their profiles that they are, new, virgins, willing to experiment, etc.. I always take that with a huge lump of salt. Again, how do you know this? This is simply what they are saying. You have no means of verifying this. If such a play sounds attractive to you, and if you dig the dude, go for it.

    If you'd rather skip the awkwardness, move on to the next candidate. Pretty simple, isn't it?

    SC