Your Favorite Dirty Joke

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    Oct 02, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    Superman was flying over Wonder Woman's house and saw her sunbathing in the backyard, naked with her legs spread wide open."Aha!" thought Superman. "This is my chance to finally nail Wonder Woman" So faster then a speeding bullet, he swooped down and gave a good pounding and flew away. "What was that?" asked Wonder Woman. "I don't know but my ass hurts," said the Invisible Man.

    What's your favorite dirty joke?
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    Oct 02, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    A man and his kid are walking down the street and they come across two dogs screwing. The little boy says "daddy what are they doing?". The dad, unsure of how to explain this says, "well they're making a puppy". The little boy says "ok" and then they go home. Later that night the little boy walks in on his parents having sex and asks "what are you guys doing?". The dad says, "well we are making you a little brother or sister". The little boy thinks and then says, "flip mom over, I want a puppy instead".
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    Oct 02, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    A pig walked into a bar...
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    Oct 02, 2012 10:39 PM GMT
    Trollileo saidWhat's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?

    I don't fuck the apple before I eat it.
    Cut a hole in the apple.
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    From: jokeyard.com

    Gay Revenge:

    A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man.

    In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.

    He then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

    Next he picked up a hacksaw.

    The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

    The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
    A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

    Yeah I took that from jokes4us, but that was hilarious and the first one!

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    Oct 03, 2012 3:19 AM GMT

    There once was a harlot from Kew
    Who filled her vagina with glue
    She said with a grin
    If they pay to get in
    They'll pay
    To get out of it, too
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:21 AM GMT
    From: coolblondejokes.com

    Ventriloquist:
    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    JR_RJ saidFrom: jokeyard.com

    Gay Revenge:

    A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man.

    In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.

    He then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

    Next he picked up a hacksaw.

    The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

    The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."
    The thread title said dirty joke - not sweet revenge. icon_twisted.gif
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe thread title said dirty joke - not sweet revenge. icon_twisted.gif

    I've never been good at remembering jokes. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:33 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    There once was a harlot from Kew
    Who filled her vagina with glue
    She said with a grin
    If they pay to get in
    They'll pay
    To get out of it, too
    There one was a guy from Peru.
    He filled his ass with super glue.
    He said with a grin
    If they can get it in
    They're fucked.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Oct 03, 2012 3:43 AM GMT
    Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my bum."
    The doctors says "Drop your pants, bend over and let have a look".
    "Fuck me!!" says the doctor " What could have made a hole as big as that?"
    Patient replies "I've been fucked by an elephant".
    The doctor says "An elephants penis is long and thin. This hole is enormous".
    Patient replies "He fingered me first".
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:12 AM GMT
    There was this guy who felt bad because his penis was too small for his wife. So every night he would have sex with her in the dark. He would always have sex with her in the dark no matter what.

    The had three kids and were a happy family. The woman one night wondered why the sex was always in the dark, so one night she turned on the light to find out he had be doing her with a strap on.

    "Explain the dildo" she said

    "Explain the children" he replied.






    Heres another one. SO this dude and his boyfriend, tried to have anal sex but it just wouldnt go in, no matter how hard he tried he couldnt get it in. Then the guy went into the bathroom and came out and they were able to have sex..

    "What was wrong"
    "Oh nothing, I just had to pick a scab."
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    My favorite dirty joke for elementary school:
    A daddy mole and a mama mole were walking down the street. Their baby mole was walking right behind them. "I smell honey," said the daddy mole. "I smell maple syrup," said the mama mole. "I smell molasses," said the baby mole.
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    A man and his wife decided it would be hot to get naked and have sex in the woods, so they strip down and the wife says "I'll be right back, I gotta pee first" and goes off to squat behind a bush. The man, already horny, decided to creep up to his wife and stick his hands between her legs when he felt a thick, warm shaft in between them.
    "Honey?? Did you change your sex??"
    "No I changed my mind, I'm taking a dump instead."
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    Oct 04, 2012 5:48 PM GMT
    what do u call a virgin in German?

    GuteUndTight
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    Oct 04, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    Not dirty, but probably my favorite (paraphrased):

    Woman 1: My god, that's the most magnificent diamond I've ever seen!
    Woman 2: This? It's The Plotnick Diamond, but like the Hope Diamond it comes with a curse.
    Woman 1: What's the curse?
    Woman 2: Mr. Plotnick.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 04, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    anti joke
    How do you make a plumber cry???

    You kill his family.

    Anti Jokes are funny at times. Random and funny.
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    Oct 04, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Q: Why did cavemen drag women by the hair?

    A: Because if they dragged them by their feet, they'd fill up with dirt.
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    Oct 04, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidA man and his wife decided it would be hot to get naked and have sex in the woods, so they strip down and the wife says "I'll be right back, I gotta pee first" and goes off to squat behind a bush. The man, already horny, decided to creep up to his wife and stick his hands between her legs when he felt a thick, warm shaft in between them.
    "Honey?? Did you change your sex??"
    "No I changed my mind, I'm taking a dump instead."

    hahahahaha eeeeeew that was good