Dating a guy with Jackd & Grindr: Trust them??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    Should you trust a guy you are seeing who has dating apps Jackd and Grindr? He claims he gets bored and just goes on there to chat with guys.


    What do you think?
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    Oct 03, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    A guy was dating me when I had these apps. How did he solve the issue? He told me he isn't comfortable with me being on them and would prefer that I'm not. I deleted the apps. Why? Because it isn't a big deal.

    Talk to him, not us.
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    Oct 03, 2012 1:58 PM GMT
    I wouldn't consider Jackd and Grindr "dating" apps. They're more appropriately called gay hookup/sex apps.
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    Oct 03, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    If I am dating a guy, he will not be on those kind of apps. I find it inappropriate in a monogamous relationship. What good could he possibly be up to on those sites? Talk to me or your friends of you're bored.
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    Oct 03, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    You already know the answer. Otherwise, you wouldn't be creating a thread about it.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 03, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidI wouldn't consider Jackd and Grindr "dating" apps. They're more appropriately called gay hookup/sex apps.


    This
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    Oct 03, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    If you are talking about yourself in this situation.

    Does he trust you that you have a RealJock account where you have pics of yourself standing around in your underwear?
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:31 PM GMT
    AlexJock89 saidShould you trust a guy you are seeing who has dating apps Jackd and Grindr? He claims he gets bored and just goes on there to chat with guys.


    What do you think?


    I was meeting this guy for the first time and he went on Grindr right in front of me. We were hanging at a bar with a lot of people so he thought I would be distracted. Needless to say that ended the date.

    With that said, there is really no way to stop him. If both of you are wanting the relationship to progress, then the best you can do is say how him using those apps makes you uncomfortable. If he is on the same track as you, he will admit they are inappropriate to use while dating someone. If he doesn't agree, he might not be as into as you had thought or hoped. By the same token, you have to be willing to make some concessions too (i.e. you may not have to delete your realjock account, but removing some of the more provocative pictures would be a gesture in good faith.) IF it happens to not work out for you, he can always download Grindr again and you can always repost your pics.

    If you both have one foot out the door though, you will never know how great you could be together. The thing about trust is you can never know if it will be honored or broken until you give it out. Hope I helped a bit. Good luck!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 03, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    Marx saidIf you are talking about yourself in this situation.

    Does he trust you that you have a RealJock account where you have pics of yourself standing around in your underwear?


    RJ isn't quite the same. It's a social site for people all over the world, like FB for gay people, whereas grindr is a hookup app that tells you who's close by for an anon quickie.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Oct 03, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    If he's going to cheat he's going to cheat regardless of what apps are on his phone. Not everyone uses them to get laid. Many do... depends on the guy.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Oct 03, 2012 3:40 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Marx saidIf you are talking about yourself in this situation.

    Does he trust you that you have a RealJock account where you have pics of yourself standing around in your underwear?


    RJ isn't quite the same. It's a social site for people all over the world, like FB for gay people, whereas grindr is a hookup app that tells you who's close by for an anon quickie.


    I've had plenty of guys on RJ ask me for a quickie. Different guys use them for different things.
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:40 PM GMT
    Chainers saidA guy was dating me when I had these apps. How did he solve the issue? He told me he isn't comfortable with me being on them and would prefer that I'm not. I deleted the apps. Why? Because it isn't a big deal.

    Talk to him, not us.

    This.

    Been there. If the guy likes you enough, then he'll delete them if you ask (or say in some sort of way that you aren't comfortable). He may just be on on it for chats. I was when I felt that I was talking to someone who'd I'd want a relationship with.

    A guy did say something along the lines of I should delete it and I did. No problem....though he was just an asshole who I never saw again but regardless.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2012 3:49 PM GMT
    I like to get guys out of their pants and then laugh at them. You know being a douche bag saying he is small and stuff.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Oct 03, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    it really depends on the person. when I use them, it's mostly for chat. would you tell someone that they're not allowed to see their friends/aquaintces (sp?) if they want to date you?
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    yall quit lying to this man...the "maybe he just uses for chatting" bullshit... if he wants to talk to his friends he could try CALLING OR TEXTING or going out for a drink with them... idk i just had a bad experience with this whole "chat, dating, hookup" sites and this guy i went out with, so my best advice is talk to him and let him know you feel uncomfortable (if it does of course) with him doing that.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 03, 2012 4:16 PM GMT
    I see no issue. My boyfriend and I both have the app. I'm rarely on, but he uses it quite a bit.

    When he was in his clinical rotations he travelled a lot. He met a lot f people in his travels. Grindr is a free app that allows him to keep in touch with a lot of these people, as well as WhatsApp and TextPlus. It's just a tool.

    I trust he's doing the right thing. Obviously you don't if you're asking. So maybe you Ned to look at the relationship itself. If you don't trust him with this, do you trust him at all? If he deleted the app, would you suddenly trust him? Why?
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Oct 03, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    I've never dated a guy before but I do have accounts on those sites and try to find people to meet and be friends with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    If he wants to date you, then ask him to delete the apps. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    I'd lose all interest in dating someone who uses those apps. Using those apps to chat?... I just don't buy that. There are several other venues for chatting with people other than Grinder... plus if you're looking for quality in terms of conversation, I highly doubt you'll find it there.
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:31 PM GMT
    Estevao saidI'd lose all interest in dating someone who uses those apps. Using those apps to chat?... I just don't buy that. There are several other venues for chatting with people other than Grinder... plus if you're looking for quality in terms of conversation, I highly doubt you'll find it there.

    As someone who does (used to aas of yesterday when I deleted it) this....it's not as rare as you think. I've met a bunch of guys who really can hold a serious and meaningful conversation.

    On top of that, I do enjoy seeing what kind of perverts hit me up. I don't know why - but I get a real laugh out of the comments people leave. "I want you to splotch on my chest...." it's a total turn off but some of them are hysterical. That and sometimes you get bored and insecure and need to feel attractive by seeing how many guys want to fuck you.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 03, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    There was a thread a while back asking why so many gay guys are single. THIS IS WHY! Everything is a deal breaker. There's no 'let's talk about it and compremise'. It's all 'I don't like this so we're done'.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 03, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    WhyWhySee said
    Medjai saidThere was a thread a while back asking why so many gay guys are single. THIS IS WHY! Everything is a deal breaker. There's no 'let's talk about it and compremise'. It's all 'I don't like this so we're done'.

    It's easy to find excuses to be single.


    Then complain about it later. "There's no good guys out there!" Yes there are, you're just icky and judgmental. Ungh, men. Glad I'm off the market. No more worrying.
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Oct 03, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    It's more rude when the other guy keeps checking his phone constantly during the date. Or people in general that does this in presence of your company.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    I have trust issues that I'm learning to deal with for myself.

    In doing so, I've learned that if you don't trust whomever you're talking to you, you may as well be counted as the untrustworthy.

    Nevertheless, communicate what you think. Can't see someone valuing a hookup website more than a relationship with a real live person. RJ excluded, I'd share this site with a guy any day... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    Course.

    Gays are nosy bastards, naturally they are gonna have those app's on their phones. It's like asking does a bear shit in the woods ? icon_lol.gif So if it's a deal breaker for you then your ruling out a large segment of the queer dating pool.

    Basically you can always trust men to be men.............