Giving an update from another topic of mine

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    Aug 27, 2008 5:44 AM GMT
    For all the people who gave me advice before, I'd just like to give you this follow up to let you know how I've done.

    I have followed some of your advice and given alot of thought to the matter of coming out to my family. On my 19th birthday when all of my family came to celebrate it, I very casually came out to them all. Everyone was accepting of it and my mom said that she had always known. She was just waiting for me to be ready.

    Now the only person who has no idea that I'm gay is my brother but he is currently away at sea for another 3 months. He's the one that I'm most worried about, but with all of the support I have, I can cross that bridge when I come to it.

    Just want to say thanks to all of those who gave their advice and support, you really made the difference.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 27, 2008 5:51 AM GMT
    Can you look back now and see if your mom (parents, you dont mentio your dad) did anything that was gay supportive since she knew before you told her?

    I am curious cuz you're the second guy on here (muttskins is the other) who has just come out to family and his father already knew.

    So now I am curious, are parents just leaving their kids to agonize and twist in the wind while they worry about coming out or are they giving gay-positive signals and support?
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    Aug 27, 2008 6:08 AM GMT
    Well I'll let you in on some little info about my life.

    My biological dad is gay himself but in denial about it, my parents divorcedwhen I was young and I only found out they divorced cause of that about a couple of years ago. My step-dad right now I have very little respect for and doesnt pay attention to anything but hiumself so he'd never know.

    My biological dad still doesnt know and I personally don't want to talk to him anyway.

    My mom has aparently known for a while and has sat down sometimes to tell me indirectly that it was ok to be myself. Also my aunt from my mom's side always asked me if there was a special girl in my life and when I said no she asked if there was a special guy.

    My feeling is they wanted me to be comfortable and come out myself instead of just outing me.
  • EricLA

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    Aug 27, 2008 6:52 AM GMT
    That's great, Drac. Good job! Coming out to a group gathering like that takes guts! I suppose it can be less stressful than coming out to all those people individually! As for your brother, I bet there are gay people he serves with in the military. There's no way to know what he thinks of those people, but if they do their job and he respects that, then he could be okay with it.
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    Aug 27, 2008 7:02 AM GMT
    Wow, fascinating story. Congratulations, I hope you feel some pressure off you.
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    Aug 27, 2008 7:28 AM GMT
    That's a great story. Well done, I think your mum and aunt sound fantastic - very supportive.
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    Aug 27, 2008 3:37 PM GMT
    great story, and they said mom always knows...
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    Aug 27, 2008 5:39 PM GMT
    Congratulations! icon_biggrin.gif And good luck on your brother, chances are if your mom knows your bro probably does too. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 27, 2008 5:44 PM GMT
    Caslon6000 saidSo now I am curious, are parents just leaving their kids to agonize and twist in the wind while they worry about coming out or are they giving gay-positive signals and support?


    That's not the case with me. Both of my parents continually make anti-gay comments whenever I'm around (thankfully I don't live in the same state anymore). If they made positive gay comments or just "be yourself" comments, I would have come out to them already. That's why being gay has been so difficult for me.
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    Aug 27, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    halltd said
    Caslon6000 saidSo now I am curious, are parents just leaving their kids to agonize and twist in the wind while they worry about coming out or are they giving gay-positive signals and support?


    That's not the case with me. Both of my parents continually make anti-gay comments whenever I'm around (thankfully I don't live in the same state anymore). If they made positive gay comments or just "be yourself" comments, I would have come out to them already. That's why being gay has been so difficult for me.

    Your parents make anti-gay comments in your presence now and you dont "smack" them silly?!?!?! (Oh you are out to them, right?)

    Dude, you're grown up. Mommy and daddy have to show you respect now, too. If I were disrespected by anyone in my family, I would either 1) leave and they would never see me again, or 2) I would light there hair on fire so badly they would never do it again.