should I be pissed?

  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 3:11 PM GMT
    Hey guys, to make a long story short I was at a bar that I often go to a few weeks ago when I saw this really cute guy, sitting across the bar. He was smiling there and had amazing energy. I don't usually don't approach guys (too shy), but was drawn to him and found myself introducing myself. He was so nice and we had an amazing time. I told him I had a date the next day, but ould cancel if I had a better offer. We went on one of the best dates of my life. We went out to dinner, talked about our families and more. He both seem to be headed in the same direction, but to be honest my income is smaller.
    He took me home that night after a drink at the same bar and we cuddled till he drove me to work at 5:30AM! As stupid as it is I had that this time is different feeling.
    The next date was ok, but he spent the whole night complaining about the movie. He always said it was uncomfortable when I put my arm around him (seating wise). We planned a date for two days ago, which he cancelled, but ofered to go out and go to my place yesturday which he cancelled 30 minutes after he was supposed to pick me up. I was so sad (allready stressed from needing to move in less than a month and my job sucking). He asked me to go to lunch with him today and I hesitantly agreed. Should I be mad? If he blews me off again I'm done.
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    Oct 04, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet said[...] He asked me to go to lunch with him today and I hesitantly agreed. Should I be mad? If he blews me off again I'm done.


    Go with him to lunch, totally ignore the negative of the past. Have fun and win him over. Look at it as and opportunity for a new beginning.
    If he blows you off (in the bad way) don't be surprised, forget about it. Hopefully the next guy will be THE one.
    Good luck!
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice, I would not even be mad if not for the fact that I have jobs to apply for and rooms for rent to look at. So busy, but I still make time for him.
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    Oct 04, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    Understood. People always have distractions. If the conversation takes a lull, ask him about his distractions, perhaps co-commiserating will bond you two?! It's admirable that you're making the time. Hopefully you'll find a compatible guy if he's not.
    Best of luck in your various searches!
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 3:31 PM GMT
    He just left his vary high paying job, because he's planning to move, to find someone and be closer to family, but said after meeting me he's reconsidering.
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    Oct 04, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    Awesome. You've gotten into him!
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    that was the first date, he seems to have lost all interest. No text or call on our afternoon lunch date made by him.
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    Oct 04, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    You mean he didn't follow up regarding lunch TODAY since he suggested it?
    He kept you in limbo since?
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    Yes, I texted him anbd as politly told him if he does not want to see me that is fine, but I feel very stupid and can't keep doing this
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    Oct 04, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    You're a good guy (I remember you from well over a year ago). No reason for you to feel stupid. You invested your time, it just didn't work out here. It wasn't meant to be.
    Throw it to the wind and get on with your endeavors. Who knows who you'll meet and what opportunities will come your way.
    Hugs.
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Oct 04, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    Sorry it didn't work out. I've been in your shoes too many times to count. Hopefully it does get better.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Thanks guys, he was so interested and then...idk. I''m just so tired of being hurt
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    Oct 04, 2012 7:17 PM GMT
    So it seems you found a guy in a transitional period and made him question what he was doing.

    So by the sounds of it he's making his decision. Unfortunately it doesn't involve you.
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    Oct 04, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    I would say give him the chance. Three strikes and he's out, but if you you really like him, just let him know how you're feeling, if he makes the effort, he's a keeper, if not you dodged a bullet.
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    Oct 04, 2012 7:24 PM GMT
    Maybe on those two times he cancelled he had met a different guy and told him, "He had a date, but would cancel if he had a better offer."

    EDIT- Maybe I should rephrase this because that sounds kind of mean, but OP, you're asking if you should be pissed about a guy that cancelled dates that you cancelled a date with a different guy to go out with.

    cookingitsweet said I told him I had a date the next day, but ould cancel if I had a better offer.
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    Oct 04, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    some day you will find the right one and realize what you went through before him was just practice
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidSo it seems you found a guy in a transitional period and made him question what he was doing.

    So by the sounds of it he's making his decision. Unfortunately it doesn't involve you.


    it's not unfortunate. I'm over it
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    Oct 04, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    Sounds familiar.

    You are not alone icon_wink.gif

    Next time don't put all your eggs in one basket especially during the first few dates.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 04, 2012 8:18 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's uncomfortable with PDA and you put your arm around in the movie. That's pretty typical, I'm afraid. Maybe discuss it with him?
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 8:23 PM GMT
    He won't talk to me, said let';s have lunch today last night and won't answer my calls. We also made out at the bar
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 8:41 PM GMT
    I should mention Andrew is 30 and I expected more maturity from him.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 04, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidI should mention Andrew is 30 and I expected more maturity from him.


    icon_lol.gif

    Sorry, had to laugh at that.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Oct 04, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. But I must admit, like Iceblink, the first thing that jumped out at me from your post -
    cookingitsweet said I told him I had a date the next day, but would cancel if I had a better offer.
    indicated to me (and undoubtedly to him) that you are not so terribly reliable a date. You can't commit, but you expect commitment from others? Think about it.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Oct 04, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    I actaully do commit, I just rather spend my day with someone I had a great time with than an online profile which could be fake. Think about it.
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    Oct 04, 2012 9:39 PM GMT
    It's all about trying to figure out the guy before you go out. Even then, people change, it's all very hard. Sorry.