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It is necessary to say "Thanks" when someone hot lists you? I don't expect it from the hundreds of guys on my hotlist. In fact if it's just obligatory response I'd prefer they didn't. If I see a response in my mail I get excited, usually only to be let down by that one word. I think people should only respond if they find you their type and no one should get offended if they don't.

Other's thoughts on the matter?

I don't think so. If it comes to you actually corresponding for some reason, then I think the hot-listed person should say thanks.

Hmm. you get an automated Email form RJ telling you when someone hot lists, buddy lists you or simply adds more pix to their profile.

I think guys are generally afraid to say thanks if they don't find you attractive worrying you will take that as a door to chat with them.

Of course it would be polite and a good thing to give some recognition to the person who feels you are attractive enough to put you on the list!

TallGWMvballer said Of course it would be polite and a good thing to give some recognition to the person who feels you are attractive enough to put you on the list!

I think it would be polite for them to give some recognition before they go slapping me on their hotlist.

I don't say 'thank you' but it's nice that they did. Some guys whom I've never chatted with ever will list me either as a buddy or place me on his hot list. If I've never talked to the guy before I tend not to do anything.

And besides, it's very easy to click the "hot list" button. Maybe if there were a button that said "Thank you" I could partake in the minimal effort they are doing to call it even.

Do we get the opportunity to decline being on someone's hotlist? I know we do on the Buddy list.

elemental12 saidIt is necessary to say "Thanks" when someone hot lists you?

Nope.

I'm always appreciative for both, but don't usually thank them... unless it comes up directly.

One thing you should consider is my line of thinking. I say thanks, in more than one word, thus initiating a conversation. Generally, I'm open to getting to know anyone and that's how I initiate the conversation. I usually add something brief and cute, but you never know if they're trying to start something up by saying thanks. I can't imagine someone unfriendly would take the time to e-mail you, so you may want to reconsider.

elemental12 saidIt is necessary to say "Thanks" when someone hot lists you? I don't expect it from the hundreds of guys on my hotlist. In fact if it's just obligatory response I'd prefer they didn't. If I see a response in my mail I get excited, usually only to be let down by that one word. I think people should only respond if they find you their type and no one should get offended if they don't.

Other's thoughts on the matter?

No. If you want to correspond with a guy, causing an automated message to arrive in his box is NOT the proper way to do it. That's how I see it.

What I find is bizarre is being buddy-listed by a guy who has never sent me a message. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often. But when it does, I simply delete the message. If you can't bother to correspond with me, then you are NOT my buddy.

I don't think it's necessary, but it's a courteous thing to do, don't you thin? They just paid you a compliment after all.

SAHEM62896 saidI don't think it's necessary, but it's a courteous thing to do, don't you thin? They just paid you a compliment after all.

No, they just pushed a button to add you to a list. I add people to a hot list all the time but I don't expect a reaction from anyone.

SAHEM62896 saidI don't think it's necessary, but it's a courteous thing to do, don't you thin? They just paid you a compliment after all.

Ditto. I usually just send a message telling them how excited and flattered I am!

If someone goes to the trouble of paying you the compliment, you should go to the trouble of saying "Thank-you." If someone paid you the compliment in person, you wouldn't ignore them... at least I hope you wouldn't!

It does matter how many people have hot listed you. Last check, I was somewhere in the 1200 range, but I promise I have thanked each and every person who has extended that compliment.

WOW. I completely agree with Caslon. I'd appreciate it first if someone took the time to chat with me first and ask me if I want to be hotlisted in the first instead of just slapping me on their list.

What kind of trouble does someone go through by adding anyone to a hotlist? It's really not hard to be added but clearly it's hard for a person to talk to. I find it annoying when people just slap you on the list and then don't even bother chatting. How many of you actually contact the people you hotlist? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that a vast majority of people don't. I could be wrong and if so I'd like someone to prove me so.

How is being hotlisted a compliment? It's a little tacky to be honest. You are much better off emailing me and saying "Nice profile/pix" then recklessly adding me to a list that I might not even want to be on in the first place. Everyone that is on my hotlist is someone that I talked to first and then asked if I could add them. It's a courtesy and a compliment and it doesn't cheapen the effect in my opinion.

I don't like being hotlisted least of all by someone who can't even talk to me so I usually end up asking them to remove me or I'll block them regardless of how hot they are. At least with a buddy list I have the option of declining it. RJ should look into creating a function that gives you option to turn off the hotlist feature since we now have to pay for everything else on this site. That's just my opinion.

joescorpio1970 said

SAHEM62896 saidI don't think it's necessary, but it's a courteous thing to do, don't you thin? They just paid you a compliment after all.

Ditto. I usually just send a message telling them how excited and flattered I am!

Me too... though it's not like I'm spending gobs and gobs of time on it -- no where NEAR the 1,200 range!

Heck, I even thank the guys that open up their private pictures for me.

Now you know why Joe and I are from a place called Charm City!

Right, i don't say thankyou if it is a random hotlisting from a total stranger. Although, if the stranger is pleasing to my eye, i'll check his profile out , but I won't respond if he already has hundreds on his Hot List. Gee thanks for finding me and 200 other guys hot.....as if.

I would say thanks, simple as that.

I say thanks when people send me messages. Being hotlisted doesn't deserve a response.

BigSETXjock saidIf someone goes to the trouble of paying you the compliment, you should go to the trouble of saying "Thank-you." If someone paid you the compliment in person, you wouldn't ignore them... at least I hope you wouldn't!

It does matter how many people have hot listed you. Last check, I was somewhere in the 1200 range, but I promise I have thanked each and every person who has extended that compliment.

It's one thing for a person to have some balls and compliment you in person by taking the effort to say so. It's another thing to click with a mouse once that requires just a tad more energy than it does to blink my eyes once. It's not the same thing in my book.

This topic just won't die.

Buddy List: Requires previous contact and mutual agreement; unsolicited requests require no acknowledgement

Hot List: No previous contact required; thank-yous are voluntary; akin to a "wink"

Why do we have to make things so dang complicated? Sheesh.

Caslon6000 saidDo we get the opportunity to decline being on someone's hotlist? I know we do on the Buddy list.

Can we really decline being on someone's buddy list?

Someone buddy listed me and RJ administration told me the option was not available but something they were looking into.

They only way that you will show up on this guy's buddy list is if you buddy list him too. So in affect, if you do nothing he will not have you on his buddy list. That's what Cas means when you approve or not. You reciprocate by doing the same thing. Then you both show up on each others' buddy list.

Thanks MuchMore. I actually showed up on this guy's list without mutually listing him but noticed my picture has since been removed. Perhaps it was just a technical glitch.

Caslon6000 saidDo we get the opportunity to decline being on someone's hotlist? I know we do on the Buddy list.

I've watched you reply to several forums thinking you are the shit! Dude seriously you are not hot, nor worth anything. Just shut up! The ones that are hot don't claim to be so!

26mileman saidThanks MuchMore. I actually showed up on this guy's list without mutually listing him but noticed my picture has since been removed. Perhaps it was just a technical glitch.

That is odd, but I guess glitches can happen.
And you're welcome.

elemental12 said

Caslon6000 saidDo we get the opportunity to decline being on someone's hotlist? I know we do on the Buddy list.

I've watched you reply to several forums thinking you are the shit! Dude seriously you are not hot, nor worth anything. Just shut up! The ones that are hot don't claim to be so!

He did say "we." He didn't say "me."
I think Cas is very funny and a lot of fun on the forums.

jakebenson said

SAHEM62896 saidI don't think it's necessary, but it's a courteous thing to do, don't you thin? They just paid you a compliment after all.

No, they just pushed a button to add you to a list. I add people to a hot list all the time but I don't expect a reaction from anyone.

Even if it is just a click of a button, someone is letting you know that they find you attractive. Who cares about HOW they let you know, the point is that they DID let you know. Is it really going to kill you to take a second out of your life to show some appreciation?

SAHEM62896 said

jakebenson said

SAHEM62896 saidI don't think it's necessary, but it's a courteous thing to do, don't you thin? They just paid you a compliment after all.

No, they just pushed a button to add you to a list. I add people to a hot list all the time but I don't expect a reaction from anyone.

Even if it is just a click of a button, someone is letting you know that they find you attractive. Who cares about HOW they let you know, the point is that they DID let you know. Is it really going to kill you to take a second out of your life to show some appreciation?

No it won't kill me, but a reply is an open invitation to start conversation, which nearly EVERYTIME starts off and continues on about their attraction towards me no matter how much I try to skew the conversation away from that topic.

I will talk to people who hot list me only if I find them attractive. It makes sense since the topic they conveyed was exclusively their attraction towards me. So it justifies me not talking to them solely based on my lack of attraction towards them. We're both superficial in this case.

However, I will respond to messages if they pose some sort of topic other than "I find you attractive," which is about 5% of the messages I receive.

I do not appreciate you and I took more than a second to let you know that. ;)

I write a quick thank you to the person who hot listed me, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to thank me if I hot listed them.

Here's the difficult part: What do you say when you DON'T wish to appear on someone's (public) hotlist??

PHLmuscle8 said
Here's the difficult part: What do you say when you DON'T wish to appear on someone's (public) hotlist??

Tell them and hope you hurt their feelings so they tell all their friends about you and then consequently no one adds you onto their list.

jakebenson said
I do not appreciate you and I took more than a second to let you know that. ;)

Allow me to return the favor:

ruck_us saidThis topic just won't die.

Buddy List: Requires previous contact and mutual agreement; unsolicited requests require no acknowledgement

Hot List: No previous contact required; thank-yous are voluntary; akin to a "wink"

Why do we have to make things so dang complicated? Sheesh.

I think you summed it up pretty well.

Guy101 saidI say thanks when people send me messages. Being hot-listed doesn't deserve a response.

WOW you and I look at things from a vastly different place!
Most of us tend to Hotlist guys whose profiles we feel make them attractive or "hot" to us! THAT is a compliment no matter how easy it is to click the ADD TO MY HOTLIST button.
Many of us do not write or chat First because it is obvious that you are not the guy's stated "type" and are simply saying that you think that person is really nice.

SAHEM62896 said

jakebenson said
I do not appreciate you and I took more than a second to let you know that. ;)

Allow me to return the favor:

See, now this is a realistic honest dialog we're having, unlike the one below when I make the mistake of replying to someone who turns out to be so retarded that the down syndrome community takes offense to their retardedness. And yes, this happens often enough to suede me not to reply to anyone.

RANDOM GUY:
"Hello how are you my name is XXXXX i am 34 yr old 5'8 145 call me my ph# 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX i am looking for a boyfriend so lets talk ok i will be in LA in 2 weeks so call me or i can call you if you wish and you are so sexy"

ME:
"HA! WTF. I don't even know what you look like."

RANDOM GUY:
"i am hot and i have been in movies i have photos on my laptop but it is broken i grew up amish mennonite and i have a home in mexico to so lets talk can you call me or do you want me to call you........................."

ME:
"Anyone can be in movies. Shannon Doherty was on TV and her eyes aren't even symmetrical. Tell you what, as soon as you show me a picture, then I'll call you (granted I find you attractive)."

RANDOM GUY:
"hello i think you will but maybe we can meet in 2 week when i am in LA let me know ok we can meet in a coffee shop if you want and you can see me........................"

ME:
"Sounds like a risk I'm not willing to take. Chances are it will be a waste of time for me if I don't see what you look like beforehand."

RANDOM GUY:
"ok well i guess it is your los not mine..............."

ME:
"No it's my win, because I'm not wasting an hour of my life to drive to some place and meet yet another guy w claims he's hot, yet for some reason can't muster up even one picture, and then looks fugly in reality. How retarded do you think I am?"

THE END.

TallGWMvballer said
Many of us do not write or chat First because it is obvious that you are not the guy's stated "type" and are simply saying that you think that person is really nice.

So if you know you are not the guys type, then don't expect a reply. And don't expect a thanks either. Hot guys shouldn't feel obligated to reply to the "i'm a fan of your body" button that you pushed. They have better things to do with their life.

I thank each person that says they hot list me, even if they have not sent a note in addition to the listing. Good Manners. It does not have to go further than that. I also state that they should have dropped a line to say hello.

jakebenson said

TallGWMvballer said
Many of us do not write or chat First because it is obvious that you are not the guy's stated "type" and are simply saying that you think that person is really nice.

So if you know you are not the guys type, then don't expect a reply. And don't expect a thanks either. Hot guys shouldn't feel obligated to reply to the "i'm a fan of your body" button that you pushed. They have better things to do with their life.

I didn't say I expected a reply and hot listing is not just being a fan of their body.... gessshhhh
I was explaining why most guys do NOT reply... not judging them for not replying.

^ ahhh gotcha. my baddd.

While I don't personally have a "Hot List." It would be a bit superfluous with soome many hot men on this site and thereby defeat the purpose. It do however, have started to thank every guy that hot list's me. It's just the kind of guy that I am, plus it gives me an opportunity to find out why. I do have a buddy list, and getting put on another guys buddy list is much more a complement.

jakebenson said^ ahhh gotcha. my baddd.

Yeah you are...need a spanking?!

I usually send flowers, cupcakes and a semen sample to anyone who's hotlisted me. "Thanks" just seems so inadequate.

McGay saidI usually send flowers, cupcakes and a semen sample to anyone who's hotlisted me. "Thanks" just seems so inadequate.

The last time you did that the flowers were dead (and who sends daisies anyway) and the cupcakes were hostess, not hand made. And next time, could you put your semen into ice cube trays, freeze it, and then ship it in dry ice? Thanks!

I hope you didn't throw those cupcakes away. The inside WAS the, er, sample. IMO, it makes the cupcake more moist. BTW, I picked and killed those daisies myself.

Oh no...I ate those babies up. They were noticeably sweeter than usual, which means that you probably drank pineapple juice before filling them up.

I call that recipe "Maui Wowie".

I don't get the guys who Buddy List me and we've never even spoken!