I had just one uncle, a total douchebag, but a bunch of granduncles who were real nice including one who was my very favorite uncle, a great guy who was hard to hear because he spoke softly and mumbled but if ever you caught what he said, you'd laugh your ass off. He flew down to say goodbye right before he died, whispered one of life's little secrets in my ear that comforts me every time I'm troubled, then as I was taking grandpa home and my parents were taking him back to the airport, with tears streaming down my face he stood there staring at me, a big ol' smile on his face and gave me the peace sign. Such a great guy.
But the douchebag uncle was my godfather, my mother's brother. I couldn't even get myself to go to his funeral as he'd already screwed my mother and me and earlier in life he screwed my father too. He only got along well with my brother, leaving him just his wine collection which cost my brother a small fortune to transport and what a hassle bringing that across state lines. I only learned after the funeral that the douche even stiffed my cousins. They were devastated, already damaged from losing their mom, my favorite aunt, to cancer in their early 20s. It still effects them today.
Not only did he leave everything but the fucking wine to his 2nd wife (not a major problem in my mind, she was his wife afterall) but the kids discovered in his will that had he & his 2nd wife died simultaneously, everything would have gone to her extended family, not to his kids. In our family, that's called horror. Ya just don't do that to someone who loves you. Douchebag!
He was always a pretentious asshole who lead his kids, the daughter especially, to believe she'd be taken care of financially & he flaunted that in her face. She loved him anyway with a closeness that most of us thought too close but whatever, it's what they had. Yet he screwed her too. He left her for the rest of her life with nothing but unanswerable questions.
Here's my favorite uncle on the right. Found this photo just the other day in my mom's things and scanned it. Pic makes him look all sorts of proper with his pipe but he was a fun guy. Loved boating. Had a local fishing hole named after him. Kept his boat in St. Augustine on the same dock as Hoss from Bonanza. Tooled around town in his convertible XKE that he'd promised to leave to my brother. Only he liked to play and sometimes drove with his feet out the window. Not surprising he wrecked it before he died. My brother still hasn't forgiven him. That was a great car.
And here's my favorite aunt, the douchbag's 1st wife. She was a fun, nice lady. Always made me feel at home in her house. The end of her life was so tragic. Breast cancer when medicine didn't really know what the fuck it was doing. They experimented on her with everything. That was tough to watch.