Gay Stalker

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2012 6:04 PM GMT
    So as I've posted here before saying that I just moved to Miami, I decided to cast a wide net to try to meet new people. I have grindr, opened up a couple of accounts on dating websites just for shits & giggles, etc. A4A. And there was this one guy that I decided to meet even though I got the feeling that he was a little unhinged (He looked really hot, okay?! lol) and basically we met at a mall and he pulled up in some creep ass car with no air conditioning apparently and therefore looked extremely sweaty and not like his pictures at all...(Which was some muscley photoshopped version of him or maybe a pic taken 5 years ago.)

    So before I met him I told him I could only chill for like 20-30 minutes (Just to give myself an out if it didn't work out.) and he got mad when I decided to leave and told me I was shallow "just like everyone else." And I don't think it has anything to do with shallowness...his pics were deceiving and he was just a fucking mess. lol he spent the whole 30 minutes arguing with over nothing it was very strange and awkward.

    Anyway to make a long story short I get a message on Grindr saying "So when are we going to talk?" and I'm like "About?" He's like "Us."

    So at this point I figure he's sort of delusional since I made it clear to him (Said it to his face.) that he didn't make the best impression. And I tell him that I didn't think we clicked/were a good match (And I said it in a really nice and polite way.)

    He proceeds to freak the fuck out on me so I block him on Grindr. Only to have him blow up my phone calling me a liar, faker all this shit. Then he starts harrassing me on A4A as well so I block him and he starts messaging me from other accounts on A4A. So I make it clear to him via text if he keeps harrassing me I'm gonna screencap all his shit and send it to the authorities and told him to stop texting me.

    But now its been about a week or so or a week and a half and I'm still getting messages from his Grindr sock puppet accounts talking to me about how "Double Moraled" I am. I've blocked him but don't know what else I can do. Do I ignore it and it'll eventually go away? This is why I hate meeting people from these apps -_- but when you're new in town you really don't have many options.

    Does anyone have any advice/similar experiences?
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    Oct 06, 2012 6:05 PM GMT
    Oh also he had lied to me about his age. He told me he was 24 but he was definitely in mid to late 30s.
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Oct 06, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    The problem here is that you met up with someone because you THOUGHT they were hot. It sounds like you didn't talk with him long before meeting.

    When you come to a situation like this, do not hang out with the person, even if it is just for a few minutes. When someone deliberately uses old pictures or fakes to pull men in, that's not someone you even give ten minutes of your time. Regardless it would have still escalated to this point to where he's pretty much harassing you online but I can't help but feel that this was maybe a needed experience for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    That's awesome.

    Be careful out there; there's lots of uglies.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 06, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    I've had an issue or two.. the best way to deal with it is.. try and "weed them" before you ever meet them.. You had a feeling about this creep before you met him... if you aren't totally comfortable in the beginning, DON'T meet them!

    Sounds pretty rough, but you were right to be reasonable, then block him the way you did. I would have done the same.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    Amira saidThe problem here is that you met up with someone because you THOUGHT they were hot. It sounds like you didn't talk with him long before meeting.

    When you come to a situation like this, do not hang out with the person, even if it is just for a few minutes. When someone deliberately uses old pictures or fakes to pull men in, that's not someone you even give ten minutes of your time. Regardless it would have still escalated to this point to where he's pretty much harassing you online but I can't help but feel that this was maybe a needed experience for you.


    I mean, tbh, I talked to him for a lot longer than a lot of people meet up on these apps. I think we were talking for about a week or a little longer. And I mean really on these apps all you really have to go on is their pictures. You never know how you're going to get along with someone in person. But nice victim blaming, tho. ;]

    Its not like I wanted to hook up with him. I met him in a public place and it was a "get to know you" sort of thing. It just so happens that he was a completely socially inept person who looked nothing like his pictures and was creepy and aggressive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI've had an issue or two.. the best way to deal with it is.. try and "weed them" before you ever meet them.. You had a feeling about this creep before you met him... if you aren't totally comfortable in the beginning, DON'T meet them!

    Sounds pretty rough, but you were right to be reasonable, then block him the way you did. I would have done the same.


    Thanks man. I mean yeah I try to be direct with people so as not to waste anyone's time. I don't like games so I was just pretty upfront with him. He knew going into the date that he lied about everything from his pics, to his age so that was why he was really defensive and argumentative the whole time. He told me everyone he's "met" has ran away/flaked out. I wonder why.

    And I agree about the comfort part. Admittedly, I was pretty bored since I don't know anyone in town. I figured if we didn't click I still have no problem meeting someone platonically and talking to them for 30 minutes, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He just turned out to be an asshole though. Had he been not my type but a nice person I would've still liked to be his friend. But he was totally coo coo bananas.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Oct 06, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    This is downright scary......
    like wow. Side note yeah I think the best thing to do before you meet someone personally is to trade a bit more information and maybe try to possibly get a skype call in or two. (make an extra skype account if you dont feel comfortable using your normal one)

    Only stressing that because it would be easier from a quick skype session to see if HOTMAN4U isn't all that hot 4 u and more of the STALKURASSTODAY kind of guy. Lol But no seriously be careful hope this situation works out and if it continues get in contact with the authorities because its better to be safe than sorry.

    Though if you really are trying to just meet people I would suggest keeping a low profile for a minute. (delete them grinder and other accounts you have roaming around.) I don't mean isolate yourself but just keep it to small comfortable areas. From your previous thread it seems like you just want friends to chill and hang out with so I would suggest for the most part just keep it simple because most friendships aren't gonna snap into place.
  • robevans912

    Posts: 87

    Oct 06, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    Yikes.

    I laughed at, "...and he was just a fucking mess." I pictured you met someone who looked like this: Mephisto.jpg

    I had someone do this to me, so right off the bat I got very aggressive with my "leave me alone" message. Didn't have any issues after that.

    Good luck in the future.
  • oursirpeace

    Posts: 199

    Sep 10, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    Not so much an active stalker. I might have chatted with this guy online years ago but never decided to meet up. Over the past few years (like today) I bumped into this guy on several occasions, he would always creep in real close with a piercing stare of a cruisy psychopath not saying anything then walk away staring from afar for a bit, and disappear as I carry on walking. One time a few years ago he followed me around 3 different grocery stores it took me half an hour to get home. Indeed very creepy and invasive.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Sep 13, 2013 7:03 AM GMT
    dont date anyone you haven't skyped, if they claim not to have it, they are are not worth your time. this solves 100% of the "not his pic problem".

    ALSO

    have more than one account, for email, dating sites, etc. If someone does become a problem, that account can just go dormant. Problem solved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 9:46 AM GMT
    You can just simply uninstall the grindr app, duh and delete your A4A account. I don't have a crazy experience like that but I've noticed several guys (the same ones) been looking at my RJ profile and OK cupid a lot. They never said anything, I saw some of their profiles and never said anything back either. Well, I am kind of dating someone, not serious though! Yeah, I don't put too much effort or thought about internet dating/hook up that seriously so I don't have a stalker like your case.