Chase or be chased?

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    Oct 08, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    I live for the chase... how about y'all?

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    Oct 08, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    Wolfeman saidI hate starting new topics that have already been done, but after an extensive look at the archives I decided that they are a little out dated.

    I have been on a few dates in the past couple of months and I have noticed that as soon as the guy starts to chase me I become uninterested. The only guy that has held my attention happens to be the one that is making me chase him.

    I live for the chase... how about y'all?



    I don't know. When I chase, I only seem to get burnt. When I am chased, it's usually by people who I don't want to be chased by. I'm somewhat at an impasse. :/
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    Oct 08, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    That's an easy question. Wait until you get to exchanging personal information.

    Do you offer someone your number hoping he calls you?

    Do you ask him for his number so you can call him?

    Do wait for him to offer you his number to show that he trusts you with this personal information?

    Do you wait for him to ask you for your phone number to show that he is interested?
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    Oct 08, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    Wolfeman saidI hate starting new topics that have already been done, but after an extensive look at the archives I decided that they are a little out dated.

    I have been on a few dates in the past couple of months and I have noticed that as soon as the guy starts to chase me I become uninterested. The only guy that has held my attention happens to be the one that is making me chase him.

    I live for the chase... how about y'all?



    I don't know. When I chase, I only seem to get burnt. When I am chased, it's usually by people who I don't want to be chased by. I'm somewhat at an impasse. :/


    You and me both, sista!!!! The guys who chase me are actually very dateable, but not what I'm looking for at the moment. And the one guy who I actually want, sends mixed signals. He started chasing me, then I started chasing him. Now we are just at a stalemate....ugh...MEN...pfft!!!!
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    Oct 08, 2012 1:53 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    ParadiseLost said
    Wolfeman saidI hate starting new topics that have already been done, but after an extensive look at the archives I decided that they are a little out dated.

    I have been on a few dates in the past couple of months and I have noticed that as soon as the guy starts to chase me I become uninterested. The only guy that has held my attention happens to be the one that is making me chase him.

    I live for the chase... how about y'all?



    I don't know. When I chase, I only seem to get burnt. When I am chased, it's usually by people who I don't want to be chased by. I'm somewhat at an impasse. :/


    You and me both, sista!!!! The guys who chase me are actually very dateable, but not what I'm looking for at the moment. And the one guy who I actually want, sends mixed signals. He started chasing me, then I started chasing him. Now we are just at a stalemate....ugh...MEN...pfft!!!!


    I know the stalemate all too well... I attempt to be stubborn, but also hate the idea of passing up on a good opportunity.
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 08, 2012 1:54 AM GMT
    As a psychological rule of thumb, being the chaser indicates desire to be in control (some may call them the control freak)-where as the individual who enjoys being chased tends to have lower self esteem and requires/thrives on validation from others.

    When someone actually looking for a relationship, its important to examine yourself internally, and try to not be so much of one of these extremes, relationships/being able to find a healthy one, are more about compromise and flexibility. If you cannot be flexible with yourself, how can you be flexible with another?
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    Oct 08, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidThat's an easy question. Wait until you get to exchanging personal information.

    Do you offer someone your number hoping he calls you?

    Do you ask him for his number so you can call him?

    Do wait for him to offer you his number to show that he trusts you with this personal information?

    Do you wait for him to ask you for your phone number to show that he is interested?


    Realistically all numbers have been exchanged before the dates happen. I find that I have the ability to text/talk to the chasers regularly before we meet and have little interest after.

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    Oct 08, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    I usually don't do the chasing. Actually I don't even get chased. BUT there is this guy who has always been inviting me to do stuff with him and I agree to. But I always let him make the first move. I'm starting to wonder if he's getting annoyed that I'm being so passive about it. Do you chasers care?
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    Oct 08, 2012 3:04 AM GMT
    beicon_wink.gif
  • bolero_of_fir...

    Posts: 551

    Oct 08, 2012 5:40 AM GMT
    The game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.
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    Oct 08, 2012 5:43 AM GMT
    Jockular saidI usually don't do the chasing. Actually I don't even get chased. BUT there is this guy who has always been inviting me to do stuff with him and I agree to. But I always let him make the first move. I'm starting to wonder if he's getting annoyed that I'm being so passive about it. Do you chasers care?


    If you really like the guy and want it to develop into something deeper, start chasing him. If you want things to stay the same, well, keep doing what you are doing....
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    Oct 08, 2012 5:45 AM GMT
    bolero_of_fire saidThe game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.


    preach
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    Oct 08, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    bolero_of_fire saidThe game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.


    +1

    I like the idea of a guy that tries his best to get on my good side, but I want a guy that also like when I try to get on his good side. I'm not really sure how the "chase" works.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Oct 08, 2012 7:59 AM GMT
    Wow. I just realized I'm a chaser. That was such a revealing post. I feel dirty when a guy is chasing after me. That teacher thing might be influencing it, and the being unworthy of love thing is there too for other reasons, but I seem to always be falling in love with the guys who aren't really interested.
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    Oct 08, 2012 8:05 AM GMT
    bolero_of_fire saidThe game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.


    + 1 !

    Games are for fucking children.
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    Oct 08, 2012 9:16 AM GMT
    The Chase???
    ..You'll let nice guys slip through your fingers because of A / The Chase??

    ...Running from a guy that's interested in you sounds kinda crazy.. icon_confused.gif

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    Oct 08, 2012 9:24 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidThe Chase???
    ..You'll let nice guys slip through your fingers because of A / The Chase??


    20.gif20.gif20.gif *crying
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    Oct 08, 2012 9:25 AM GMT
    Snipe from afar ...

    Nah honestly, I wouldn't mind doing either but I'm not going to lie, for some weird reason I always imagine whoever I end up being with would have chased me.
    Hopefully that doesn't sound bad, then again I've never actually been chased or chased anyone so it's all heresay until something happens.
  • Rowing_Ant

    Posts: 1504

    Oct 08, 2012 9:47 AM GMT
    I gerneraly go on the chase but end up being burnt because I read the signs wrong. Or come on too strong.

    Ive never been chased. That would be nice.
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    Oct 08, 2012 10:11 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidRunning from a guy that's interested in you sounds kinda crazy.. icon_confused.gif

    It's more about the end result. To have gotten the guy bedded, the notch carved, the goal achieved.

    aka, getting what you think you can't have and once you've gotten it realising its not as good as you'd hoped.

    As least that's been my experience with guys like him. Oddly, the more you reject guys like that nicely the more they come after you. Kinda boring.
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    Oct 08, 2012 10:56 AM GMT
    bolero_of_fire saidThe game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.


    Well, I agree but when I mean to say is when I show interest first or initiate interest, the person doesn't seem to show interest in me. Those who show interest in me are not usually the kind of men that I am interested in.

    I suppose this could be seen as me being too "selective" or "picky" for my own good, and I should just be with whoever floats my direction if I ever want to be with someone; however, I am not looking to be with someone for the sake of having someone. What I may be asking from most people may be too much but maybe not. I don't know. I don't get out very often either. Most of my interactions are through the internet which is limiting as it is unlimited.

    *Shrugs* I don't know. I'm not starved to be with anyone but it would be nice to seek out someone who seeks me out just as much. That's rare. Extremely rare.
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    Oct 08, 2012 11:29 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    Wolfeman saidI hate starting new topics that have already been done, but after an extensive look at the archives I decided that they are a little out dated.

    I have been on a few dates in the past couple of months and I have noticed that as soon as the guy starts to chase me I become uninterested. The only guy that has held my attention happens to be the one that is making me chase him.

    I live for the chase... how about y'all?



    I don't know. When I chase, I only seem to get burnt. When I am chased, it's usually by people who I don't want to be chased by. I'm somewhat at an impasse. :/


    Amen to that brother.
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    Oct 08, 2012 12:47 PM GMT
    bolero_of_fire saidThe game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.


    I called it a "game" because I feel like it is an uncontrollable game our brain likes to play, but thanks for taking a light hearted fun topic and turning it into a preaching session.
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    Oct 08, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    Wolfeman said
    bolero_of_fire saidThe game? Why do people play games? If you like someone tell them. If you want to be with someone be with them. Fuck games.


    I called it a "game" because I feel like it is an uncontrollable game our brain likes to play, but thanks for taking a light hearted fun topic and turning it into a preaching session.
    icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
    Light hearted fun topic? Take a serious thought...heck why don't you take a read of the number of threads posted over the last month or so where guys are agonizing of what to do with guys who are playing games...
    it is stupid! done only by fucktards! this nonsense is what pisses me off with gay guys. there is nothing fun about this. this game is being played with guys' psyches and the sooner you and other guys stop being a**holes the better off you may find yourself.

    Grow to hell up!
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    Oct 08, 2012 1:48 PM GMT
    Being chased is not a game for some people. These people just don't give a fuck about anyone, and for some reason some gay guys like guys who don't give a fuck about them. I'm naturally and genetically "flighty," and for whatever reason, gay guys find that attractive. Crazy.