Lub_ag saidSo my boyfriend and I are running into a problem because I'm completely vers and he is a total top. Occasionally I would like to top, but he doesn't like it. He has tried to bottom for me, but he just doesn't get any enjoyment from it.
We have set a "hall pass" system allowing me to go out a do who ever and not get in trouble. My problem is that I greatly value monogamy and don't want to violate this value of mine.
In all, what should he and I try to do I order to overcome this problem?
Hmn.. Well, that is quite the conundrum. I am not sure what I'd do either. I am not exactly sure if that hole can be filled either considering you are both monogamous and do not outsource your sexual needs onto others.
A fleshjack is not the same thing either and creativity opens only so much space. It does not replace the desire one may have what they simply cannot. And you cannot force a person to accept the position of being anything-- a top or a bottom.
I guess I try to nip this dilemma in the bud before I sign onto any relationship. I -must- be with a man who is fully willing to be versatile with me. Total anythings just don't cut it for me. I find them to be sexually boring and find any extraneous attitudes that they may attach to such positions annoying (e.g. 'roles').
Unhappiness is not good in a monogamous relationship. It may eat up (slowly) the enjoyable aspects of your relationship-- not to be a pessimist or fatalistic here. :/ If you are what you are, a true and complete versatile man, to have someone who only proscribes to one position, it makes it hard for you to truly enjoy yourself and be appreciated in the fullest extent of your being. This is one such way and it seems to me it's important, otherwise you wouldn't be posting about it.