Unspoken Rules of the Mens Restroom

  • joarky123

    Posts: 264

    Aug 28, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    So a few coworkers and I were discussing this over lunch, and I thought it'd be fun to post this topic and see what your thoughts are on the topic.

    (I apologize if there is already a post for this topic).

    in lunch we were discussing proper mens restroom etiquette, and that how many of the rules for the mens restroom are generally known, but unspoken. (the crowd was mixed hetero/bi). a few that we came up with:

    1. Avoid using the urinal right next to someone if at all possible
    2. While using said urinal, gaze should remain either straight forward to the wall, or down at your junk, but eyes should never wander from infront of you.
    3. Never talk while doing said business at the urinal (debatable).

    ....and a few others.

    What are your guys thoughts as to the unspoken rules of using the men's restroom? (be they appropriate to straight, bi, or gay men)
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    Aug 28, 2008 9:43 PM GMT
    Number 3 is indeed debatable. You can talk as long as your keep your gaze only to the face of the guy you are talking to. icon_wink.gif

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    Aug 28, 2008 9:53 PM GMT
    joarky123 said

    1. Avoid using the urinal right next to someone if at all possible
    2. While using said urinal, gaze should remain either straight forward to the wall, or down at your junk, but eyes should never wander from infront of you.
    3. Never talk while doing said business at the urinal (debatable).



    These are rubbish. How old were these friends of yours: this is Boy's Room etiquette.

    You wanna get close to someone in a situation that is not only exclusive, but hard to readily escape: stand next to them at the urinal. Don't scoff, many a worthwhile union has been born this way. I am friends with a couple guys who stood by me at the urinal in the past. I did recognize their gusto and their angle. I read absolutely nothing sexual into it, but I was a bit flattered by it: here it is a huge bathroom and this person wants to stand by me, there must be an angle to that! One in particular, I saw him again and the incident having happened is what made me approach him.

    I think a person who does this is certainly sending a message. "If anything "I'm here." It may be an odd way to send you a message, but sounds like rational activity for someone who is shy. The only other explanation is they want to look at your junk. That can't be the case with me: I wear my jeans so tight everyone can readily see my junk anyway. Bottomline, a person does this, they like you, maybe sexual, maybe for a friend. I'd consider it and strike up a conversation then or later. I figure, If they've got the guts to stand by me at such a time, surely they'll stand by me as a good friend. You can't beat origins like that anyway!

    2. this rule is really massaging someone's ego. If my gaze does wonder from the wall or my own junk. Who's to say I'm looking at anyone. maybe I just don't like to stare at bathroom walls. They can be a bit dingy. Barring that you don't look directly at your neighbors junk, I think this rule is a bit constricting.

    3. I 've talked before and whatever...I mean, what is this, time out? Life goes on whether or not I'm taking a piss. I like to think that social homeoestasis is in order when people communicate what they want to communicate when they perceive it's a good time. Saying hello, for example, should be perfectly applicable in a bathroom. There are people in there. Like I mentioned, a guy stands right next to you at the urinals for no reason, strike up a convo. It'll either deter him in the future or you might make a friend.icon_biggrin.gif

    ....I think your friends are illustrating something that is a social problem: stigma and generalization. Every situation is different so these rules, they are useless. Besides that, why do they exist? Is it because if a guy stands next to you at a urinal, he's a fag or if he doesn't look straight ahead, he's a fag? Me thinks it is.

    I expect this sorta talk from bi's, they are a bit confused. And straights, well they are taught to be hung up about sex, but a gay man. You are the thing these stigmas are made to taunt. I'd have told them not to talk to me at the urinal or ever. LOL, ofcourse, people from my last job don't speak to me if they spot me in public, fuck em.
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    Aug 29, 2008 12:46 AM GMT
    It depends. Shit, I had one of my most enjoyable encounters in my college career at a notorious 'tearoom' on my campus (Georgetown), and I believe several of your rules were violated.
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    Aug 29, 2008 1:24 AM GMT
    Sedative saidNumber 3 is indeed debatable. You can talk as long as your keep your gaze only to the face of the guy you are talking to. icon_wink.gif



    Agreed, and the above too.

    Nor do you ever tell a guy he has not done up his zip, fly whatever, as a real man would never notice.
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    Aug 29, 2008 1:30 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    joarky123 said

    1. Avoid using the urinal right next to someone if at all possible
    2. While using said urinal, gaze should remain either straight forward to the wall, or down at your junk, but eyes should never wander from in front of you.
    3. Never talk while doing said business at the urinal (debatable).



    These are rubbish. How old were these friends of yours: this is Boy's Room etiquette.

    You wanna get close to someone in a situation that is not only exclusive, but hard to readily escape: stand next to them at the urinal. Don't scoff, many a worthwhile union has been born this way. I am friends with a couple guys who stood by me at the urinal in the past. I did recognize their gusto and their angle. I read absolutely nothing sexual into it, but I was a bit flattered by it: here it is a huge bathroom and this person wants to stand by me, there must be an angle to that! One in particular, I saw him again and the incident having happened is what made me approach him.

    I think a person who does this is certainly sending a message. "If anything "I'm here." It may be an odd way to send you a message, but sounds like rational activity for someone who is shy. The only other explanation is they want to look at your junk. That can't be the case with me: I wear my jeans so tight everyone can readily see my junk anyway. Bottomline, a person does this, they like you, maybe sexual, maybe for a friend. I'd consider it and strike up a conversation then or later. I figure, If they've got the guts to stand by me at such a time, surely they'll stand by me as a good friend. You can't beat origins like that anyway!

    2. this rule is really massaging someone's ego. If my gaze does wonder from the wall or my own junk. Who's to say I'm looking at anyone. maybe I just don't like to stare at bathroom walls. They can be a bit dingy. Barring that you don't look directly at your neighbors junk, I think this rule is a bit constricting.

    3. I 've talked before and whatever...I mean, what is this, time out? Life goes on whether or not I'm taking a piss. I like to think that social homeoestasis is in order when people communicate what they want to communicate when they perceive it's a good time. Saying hello, for example, should be perfectly applicable in a bathroom. There are people in there. Like I mentioned, a guy stands right next to you at the urinals for no reason, strike up a convo. It'll either deter him in the future or you might make a friend.icon_biggrin.gif

    ....I think your friends are illustrating something that is a social problem: stigma and generalization. Every situation is different so these rules, they are useless. Besides that, why do they exist? Is it because if a guy stands next to you at a urinal, he's a fag or if he doesn't look straight ahead, he's a fag? Me thinks it is.

    I expect this sorta talk from bi's, they are a bit confused. And straights, well they are taught to be hung up about sex, but a gay man. You are the thing these stigmas are made to taunt. I'd have told them not to talk to me at the urinal or ever. LOL, ofcourse, people from my last job don't speak to me if they spot me in public, fuck em.


    not being One to disagree, your points are yours to have, and you know what. Thats OK. icon_biggrin.gif

    But you just can not, lay down in the piss troth for a shower, this must stop! If you do it again. I'll be forced to send you to your room, without any of you rubber toys too.icon_wink.gif
  • 2theTEE

    Posts: 637

    Aug 29, 2008 1:40 AM GMT
    Is it ok to tap some other guy's foot with my own? I hear that it's the universal greeting for "hello!" and I have yet to do it...how rude of me, I know.

    I will be using the public restroom in 20 mins.
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    Aug 29, 2008 1:44 AM GMT
    I don't care what you do at the urinal as long as you wash your damn hands!!!! Too many men in my office either simply run them under water real fast or don't even bother!

    You can look at my junk all you want, just wash your hands! And use soap!
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:10 AM GMT
    Pattison said
    Nor do you ever tell a guy he has not done up his zip, fly whatever, as a real man would never notice.


    How is it that a real man would never notice? That doesn't even make any sense. You don't have to walk around looking at people's crotches to notice an open fly. If they are good friends of mine, I will tell them, even if it embarrases them a little because real friends lookout for each other. If I don't know them very well, then I won't say anything. Sometimes people don't appreciate that you're doing them a favor icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    JuhJuhJEFF saidIs it ok to tap some other guy's foot with my own? I hear that it's the universal greeting for "hello!" and I have yet to do it...how rude of me, I know.

    I will be using the public restroom in 20 mins.


    "Hello," or, in some communities, "I'll see you at the tea dance." These rules are right. Although I think you can get a dispensation on #3 if your inhibitions are lowered and you've got a bit of a buzz on.
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:25 AM GMT
    Am I the only guy who can't piss if the urinal next to me is occupied? Anybody have any thoughts on this?

    I agree about washing hands. I work with too many guys who piss and walk right out the door. WTF?
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    This thread reminded me of a video I saw on YouTube... I found it!

    Male Restroom Etiquette

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    Aug 29, 2008 2:31 AM GMT
    private41005 saidAm I the only guy who can't piss if the urinal next to me is occupied? Anybody have any thoughts on this?

    It's called "shy kidneys." It is due to the "fight or flight" syndrome. Your body doesnt want you to be pissing in your shoe, if you have to fight or flee.
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:32 AM GMT
    private41005 saidAm I the only guy who can't piss if the urinal next to me is occupied? Anybody have any thoughts on this?


    No you're not the only one. It's not that I feel like the person will be watching, but I grew up being uncomfortable being close to someone else while using the urinal. It still feels a little awkward, and I can't go.

    private41005 saidI agree about washing hands. I work with too many guys who piss and walk right out the door. WTF?


    I actually had this discussion with guys who use the urinal and don't wash their hands, and the reason is that they don't feel like their junk is dirty so washing their hands is pointless. They figure that they shower everyday, their underwear is clean, so what's so disgusting about touching your own junk? I agree with them in that sense, but I wash my hands anyway. I see it as an opporutnity to clean my hands of whatever crap I've come in contact with in the past couple of hours or so.
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:37 AM GMT
    JuhJuhJEFF saidIs it ok to tap some other guy's foot with my own? I hear that it's the universal greeting for "hello!" and I have yet to do it...how rude of me, I know.

    I will be using the public restroom in 20 mins.

    I thought it meant, "I hope I can count on your vote!"
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:43 AM GMT
    bigbluefanindc saidI don't care what you do at the urinal as long as you wash your damn hands!!!! Too many men in my office either simply run them under water real fast or don't even bother!

    You can look at my junk all you want, just wash your hands! And use soap!


    Not if you're a super villain!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyYOuuRmQp0



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    Aug 29, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
    and EVIL! icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:48 AM GMT
    btw...just cause guiltygear uses the restroom urinals to make friends doesn't mean anyone else considers is appropriate. I gotta agree with joarky on most of his rules...

    unless you are trying to pick the guy up, anyway...in which case there are no rules.
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:55 AM GMT
    bigbluefanindc saidI don't care what you do at the urinal as long as you wash your damn hands!!!! Too many men in my office either simply run them under water real fast or don't even bother!

    You can look at my junk all you want, just wash your hands! And use soap!


    surly, it should only mater, if he washes his hands, if you are at a bar nibbling the nuts, ant his hands may of been on?
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:59 AM GMT
    Now I think of it. Not sure if I've seen a piss trough in the USA?

    Its a long wall covered in stainless Steel, with a trough, do you guys have them in the toilets in the US of A. i don't recall seeing any there, only your porcelain bowls. Some with dividers, and others without.
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    Aug 29, 2008 3:04 AM GMT
    the bar down the street from me has a trough...

    I'm not sure how I feel about it..
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    Aug 29, 2008 3:09 AM GMT

    Urinal
    ....................................Urinals.jpg
    Urinal Trough
    .......................................Uridan_Trough_Urinal_400.jpg
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    Aug 29, 2008 3:10 AM GMT
    i've seen/used troughs (usually at ball parks) and i've seen all kinds of urinal type constructions in bars - from troughs to holes in the floor, from waterfalls to windows and see-through mirrors.

    to each their own i suppose
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    Aug 29, 2008 3:14 AM GMT
    LOL, guilty...I've never seen a trough that clean!!
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    Aug 29, 2008 3:16 AM GMT

    me either, that one has to be new.