Need advice...

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    Oct 11, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    Ok my BF is a great guy, but.... Other night his screen was on Craigslist and the casual m4m line was highlighted, I asked him about it and he said he liked to checkout the listings to get a laugh.. He just got back from Folsom and needed his charger for his phone and asked me to get it out of his suitcase, there was a bunch of condoms in his bag and so I asked, "why do you have condoms in your suitcase" he said he got them at the street fair.. Um we both got tested when we started dating (both -) and we are monogamous so we don't use condoms.... My loyalty to my partner is unquestionable as its my nature to be exclusive, I tend to be extremely trusting to a fault and everything is explainable in a rational way and I do trust him.. But he's not very huggable or if I try he pulls away. He's at a stressful point right now and lots on his mind with getting his home together as his moms moving in with him this week. He def has ADD issues as his brain is always spinning and its really hard to get a reading on what's going on with him sometimes.
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    Oct 11, 2012 4:43 AM GMT
    your asking the wrong people..

    Talk to your man.. tell him how you feel.. listen to what he says.

    anything anyone says here will only ever be a fraction of what you can do and we don't know the full story nor how your relationship even works
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    Oct 11, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Thanks tanker! Yeah it's complicated somewhat as he's a special guy for sure and better to rely on my friends for advice.. It's just hot/cold with my man and trying to figure out if I'm being insecure or its just face value thing
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    Oct 11, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    I get that. But it's important that you develop the skills to talk to him.

    You really need to do that. He's done things that have left you with doubts, first port of call is the person who has made those doubts happen to find out if they were intentional or not.

    He might not be the easiest person to talk to or he might not be easy to read. But do it long enough and eventually you'll work it out.

    Then, you go to your friends to make sense of it all icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 11, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    He's big on talking and doesn't like to keep things hidden or to cause issues, your absolutely right in that I need to sit down and just say how I feel and talk about it. I have trust issues as my ex of 12 years was fucking around on me and I had no clue
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 11, 2012 5:39 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI get that. But it's important that you develop the skills to talk to him.

    You really need to do that. He's done things that have left you with doubts, first port of call is the person who has made those doubts happen to find out if they were intentional or not.

    He might not be the easiest person to talk to or he might not be easy to read. But do it long enough and eventually you'll work it out.

    Then, you go to your friends to make sense of it all icon_smile.gif


    Ehhhhh, yes, in a perfect world where the Middle East is full of peace loving hippies, gay marriage is universally recognized, and while we are at it, the weather is a perfect 77 with a slight breeze with robots walking every inch of the world offering us all pina cooladas.

    This "talk" is going to be a blow up. He WILL get defensive. Before you confront him about this, are you willing to prepare yourself for a potential breakup? I think that you need to consider all of this-sleep on it for days if you have to.

    Combining the fact that you saw this craigslist stuff, the condoms, and the fact that you actually are asking us about it (meaning you have doubts) suggests that while I am sure that it breaks all our hearts, he is fooling around. When dealing with guys, I find it incredibly rare that when you have an inkling that something is going on (with even the slightest circumstantial evidence) it normally is. Sad as it may be, our gender has one single weakness, and its sex. In order to gain control of this, you sorta gotta reign with an iron first (but find a harmony in doing this as to not come across as controlling). The minute a look is given, a head is turned, or a dirty picture sent, snuff it out entirely. This craigslist business is just shady, clearly creates a mistrust with you, and in all reality probably results in some degree of infidelity. This whole "I like to get a good laugh" has been used over and over throughout time. Hey, you want a laugh? Watch Bridesmaids. Looking for stuff in all the wrong places.
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    Oct 11, 2012 5:55 AM GMT
    What really suxs is I just spent 2 days in hospital and today was 1st day back at work and he never texted or called to see how I was doingicon_sad.gif I was in ER and had major problems with blood clot and infection in my leg... Just kinda bummed he didn't ask how I was feeling or doing today..Yet he visited me everyday and brought me clothes and candy bars lol
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 11, 2012 5:59 AM GMT
    See the thing is, (working under the assumption that he IS cheating) that him cheating and loving you are not mutually exclusive. Dynamics in gay relationships (to be my thesis) are fluid-and it is flat out ignorant to say "he cheats on you therefore he does not love you" because well-3somes/open relationships are a lot more common in gay relationships than heterosexual ones.
    This is why I asked you if you were prepared to ultimately break up with him-this is sorta the kind of thing that you need to ultimately be able to work with and past, or something that you need to draw a very clear line and be ready to pull the trigger if put in the situation where you need to. There really is no single right answer, it all depends on you.
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    Oct 11, 2012 6:06 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear of your situation with the bf. Haiqtpi has something in what he says. Start using condoms with him, and be glad that he thought to get them (and probably use them) while away. Who knows if he sees other guys locally, or only while out of town? BTW, lots of guys look on craigslist not to make dates, but for jacking off, wishful thinking, and phone sex. If he were really cheating on you at home, he would probably be doing it on grinder or similar. His mind might be roving, just his eye, but perhaps not his dick also. And He did visit you in the hospital every day.

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    Oct 11, 2012 6:19 AM GMT
    Honestly my heart tells me he's faithful, there's def a connection and we're both learning about each other. I'm totally ok with looking as I'm guilty and we both openly talk about hot guys we see. This is a man I'm falling for hard and fast and I'm probably basing a lot of my issues on my own insecurity as he's a very independent man with a lot going on in his life and I'm juggling my expectations on my needs and wants, my gut feelings are we're not on the same page and he's just enjoying our time together and I'm more serious,
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 11, 2012 6:28 AM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidHonestly my heart tells me he's faithful,


    I hate when people say that, its like are you going to believe your heart (something intangible), or your lying eyes (something concrete) -_- The fact that you mentioned the craigslist thing indicates that you have an issue with it (whether or not you admit it)-as does the whole condom thing. It is not easy to come to terms with stuff like this, its often easier and more comforting to attempt to rationalize it all-this is a very common and basic coping mechanism.

    Falling hard and fast is never a good thing-it sounds like you are simply stuck in the first stage of a relationship (infatuation), and it seems to me that you are letting these strong blinding feelings cloud your better judgment. You need to drag your heels here and reevaluate in a totally objective manner. Tackle the issue before you "fall" deeper and open up the door to an abusive/unhealthy relationship or pattern of behavior.
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    Oct 11, 2012 9:37 AM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidWhat really suxs is I just spent 2 days in hospital and today was 1st day back at work and he never texted or called to see how I was doingicon_sad.gif I was in ER and had major problems with blood clot and infection in my leg... Just kinda bummed he didn't ask how I was feeling or doing today..Yet he visited me everyday and brought me clothes and candy bars lol

    Try not to do that whole "What has he done for me in the last 2 hours thing" so he didn't text or ask how your doing... That's not such a bad thing. He came to the hospital every day... that is far bigger (at least to me) thing then sending a text message asking how you are.. I mean he took time outta his day every day, he got you something you wanted that made you feel good (even if it was a temporary thing, it was the anticipation of him arriving, getting chocolate, getting to see ya guy)

    Most importantly, try hard not to make this guy suffer for the sins of past guys. It's a really difficult thing to do and takes a lot of balls on your part push your fears aside and say no to the them.

    Talk to him.... and ignore the idiot posting here
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    Oct 11, 2012 9:48 AM GMT
    haiqtpi saidEhhhhh, yes, in a perfect world where the Middle East is full of peace loving hippies, gay marriage is universally recognized, and while we are at it, the weather is a perfect 77 with a slight breeze with robots walking every inch of the world offering us all pina cooladas.

    This "talk" is going to be a blow up. He WILL get defensive. Before you confront him about this, are you willing to prepare yourself for a potential breakup? I think that you need to consider all of this-sleep on it for days if you have to.

    What an absolutely massive load of bullshit! Seriously, I have not seen one worthwhile post from you since you started taking part in the forum. You seem to enjoy hearing your own words that lack anything meaningful or thoughtful. Your one of those overblown twats who wants nothing more then to hear his own voice drone on endlessly thinking he has all the answers.

    Ya know what, none of us here know how his partner is going to react, NONE of us can say what will happen.. NONE of us here are able to give him any more advice then telling him to talk to his partner. We do NOT know the dynamics of their relationship, we do NOT know how their own personal relationship that is build on time and trust works for them.

    And as he says his partner likes to talk, he doesn't like to keep things hidden. So your "wise advice" which sounds about as bitter as lemon rind (I assume you've either not had a relationship or have had a few bad ones) is as pointless as this retort that is satisfying yet pointless.

    Shortmuscle. Go talk to your guy. No one here can help you, no one here wil ever tell you why your guy did what he has done, no one here can tel you if his reasons were honest or not, no one here can help!

    Your man can... yes if it ends it ends and that would be sad but it's better knowing the future then sitting here right now worrying about the present and running around in circles.

    And if it doesn't end what will it do?? it might do nothing, you both talk about it, settle things, you no longer worry.

    It could also cause the relationship to develop stronger ties.

    It could also cause a cataclysmic event that causes the entire universe to implode in on it's self.

    Who the hell knows. Go talk to him

    Telling someone to go watch a movie as something indicative of life... what a load of crap!!!
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    Oct 11, 2012 10:01 AM GMT
    I think both of them are offering valuable insight into the situation Mister OP man. icon_smile.gif I definitely can relate to you although I don't have the 12 years of an ex screwing behind my back. :s You WANT to trust completely but you can't do it, not easily anyway especially when you see certain behavior patterns that may seem otherwise suspicious to you.

    EVEN SO, I too have insecurities when it comes to dating and trusting a person. Trust and Honesty go hand and hand and not only act as the foundation for that contractional agreement between you and your partner but also the glue that keeps all the other aspects of your relationship solid and true.

    Your heart sees one thing but your eyes sees another. That's totally understandable and believe me, I've been there SEVERAL times. My partners know I have heavy trust issues and don't trust completely or easily given how often I have been betrayed. This is where their understanding and acceptance comes into play-- and also where your partner, should he truly be a good person for you, will also not hesitate to facilitate.

    Yes, there are things which seem iffy about the entire thing:
    Ads on Craigslist Highlighted
    Condoms in Suitcase
    Not very affectionate as of late.

    These signs usually indicate to most human beings of some kind of wedge or wall or perhaps that he is drifting but it could also be a simple misunderstanding on your part when assessing the situation.

    Tell me... Is he very direct and honest? Has he ever lied or hidden anything else about himself from you? Has he ever cheated on someone before? If you answered no, yes, yes, I think you definitely may have reasons to be suspicious.

    Either way, there are two ways about going through this: The direct way-- which involves you sitting him down and talking about everything you've experienced (which may or may not plug the holes of doubt bored in your heart), and the long(er) more drawn out way. This method makes you a kind of a detective and search the nooks and crannies to see if there is reason for you to feel suspicious and see if there is a correlation (e.g. that he's cheating) or if it's misplaced fear. Was there a fair where there were condoms being handed out? Were the ads posted up funny (or what you think may be funny to him)? Is he normally one to not text you or call you even in peak stressful times?

    Weigh and see. Sooner or later, a trail will turn up and it will lead you to your answer.

    BUT.. there are some things you should consider, no matter what the outcome is:
    How can I truly trust a person without letting my fears take control?
    Is there a concrete or realistic way to obtain this trust from my partner? (Hint: There is!)
    What can I do to prevent this from happening next time around? What needs to be communicated or expressed by me or my partner for this not to happen again?


    Having Faith (instinctive inclination) in a person is just as important as being Logical (rational). We're not robots and we're not beasts. We're human beings and we're beings who exhibit both. Ultimately, for better or for worse, whether you end up getting stronger from this or weaker, whether you remain together or become single, you will have to do your best to seek out the truth! There is no 'right or wrong' way to find the truth. Only do or do not. icon_smile.gif

    For more information, please feel free to message/email me. icon_smile.gif Be more than happy to supply my insight! icon_biggrin.gif Many friendly and warm hugs. ;D
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    Oct 11, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidOk my BF is a great guy, but.... Other night his screen was on Craigslist and the casual m4m line was highlighted, I asked him about it and he said he liked to checkout the listings to get a laugh.. He just got back from Folsom and needed his charger for his phone and asked me to get it out of his suitcase, there was a bunch of condoms in his bag and so I asked, "why do you have condoms in your suitcase" he said he got them at the street fair.. Um we both got tested when we started dating (both -) and we are monogamous so we don't use condoms.... My loyalty to my partner is unquestionable as its my nature to be exclusive, I tend to be extremely trusting to a fault and everything is explainable in a rational way and I do trust him.. But he's not very huggable or if I try he pulls away. He's at a stressful point right now and lots on his mind with getting his home together as his moms moving in with him this week. He def has ADD issues as his brain is always spinning and its really hard to get a reading on what's going on with him sometimes.


    If you are asking us, you clearly don't trust as much as you claim to trust him. You really need to talk to him though. You have good reason to. Why wpuld he take condoms if you two don't use them? Sure, Craigslist is fun to laugh at, but if he finds it so funny, then why isn't he sharing the humor.with you? There are logical, innocuous reasons for his behavior, but you have the right to question him--especially if you two are having bareback sex.
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 11, 2012 8:09 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    haiqtpi saidEhhhhh, yes, in a perfect world where the Middle East is full of peace loving hippies, gay marriage is universally recognized, and while we are at it, the weather is a perfect 77 with a slight breeze with robots walking every inch of the world offering us all pina cooladas.

    This "talk" is going to be a blow up. He WILL get defensive. Before you confront him about this, are you willing to prepare yourself for a potential breakup? I think that you need to consider all of this-sleep on it for days if you have to.

    What an absolutely massive load of bullshit! Seriously, I have not seen one worthwhile post from you since you started taking part in the forum. You seem to enjoy hearing your own words that lack anything meaningful or thoughtful. Your one of those overblown twats who wants nothing more then to hear his own voice drone on endlessly thinking he has all the answers.

    Ya know what, none of us here know how his partner is going to react, NONE of us can say what will happen.. NONE of us here are able to give him any more advice then telling him to talk to his partner. We do NOT know the dynamics of their relationship, we do NOT know how their own personal relationship that is build on time and trust works for them.

    And as he says his partner likes to talk, he doesn't like to keep things hidden. So your "wise advice" which sounds about as bitter as lemon rind (I assume you've either not had a relationship or have had a few bad ones) is as pointless as this retort that is satisfying yet pointless.


    O_O Woah, getting a bit personal no? I'd like to point out first and foremost that I have exactly 25 mails in my inbox telling me otherwise from members who have read my posts since I joined like a week ago. Luckily I do NOT post them for you, I post them for those seeking guidance or advice. I believe that there is a great deal of idealization on this forum, and little sense of reality. I am not here to be the harbinger of bad news, but reality is what we actually live in-a fact that we all tend to forget in moments of anguish or confusion.

    It is flat out ignorant and bad advice to advice the OP that he should not think long and hard before he talks to his bf about this, or that there is no way that his bf would get defensive when confronted with such insinuations/accusations/questions. You are sending a lamb in for potential slaughter completely unprepared. Your understanding of human nature is flawed, and that is fine..where was your degree in psychology from again? Giving advice is great, give your input, but I'd greatly suggest that you not play your uneducated, baseless responses as fact and sling mud at actual education and behaviorist theories.

    All I suggested, was that the OP mentally prepare himself for a breakup before the conversation to prevent unraveling if it takes that course. I also suggested this so that he can harden himself a little and begin to stand firm on his feelings-the fact that he posted here clearly indicates that he is NOT ok with his bfs behaviors (to an undefined degree)-there seems to be a lack of boundaries established within their relationship to even have something like this happen. I am also troubled by his bfs lack of affection. OP you do mention as well that it can be "really hard to get a reading on what's going on with him sometimes" but later say "he's big on talking and doesn't like to keep things hidden" these statements sorta contradict themselves in a way so as such I did not really address them. Also, if you are monogamous and do not use condoms, street fair or not why would he take some?

    I am not trying to say with absolute certainty that he IS cheating. I think that is is quite possible and that THIS is a reality that you must accept before you talk to him. If you are not willing to acknowledge the possibility, all facts considered, then you are not in the fight mindset to talk, or you will end up believing everything that he says. He MAY be innocent, but if you cannot also entertain the fact that he may not be then how can you ever hope to fix a single issue you have taking only his side and rationalizing things in his favor?

    One thing I can say is that he is lucky to have someone like you in that you did not ask hastily. In my opinion, there is still work that you have to make within yourself before you can tackle this issue, but you did not flat out tell him to get out or anything and I think that must be applauded as well.

    It is so hard to weigh things objectively within our own minds, when they deal with our every day lives and the people that we love. But objectivity is a great tool, at some point you gotta learn to make use of it, even if it hurts, because in the end, it all may be nothing, but at least you did yourself the justice to be intelligent about it all and see both sides instead of just banging the gavel in the favor of your bf over and over.
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    Oct 11, 2012 8:13 PM GMT
    hiaqtpi said, "See the thing is, (working under the assumption that he IS cheating) that him cheating and loving you are not mutually exclusive. Dynamics in gay relationships (to be my thesis) are fluid-and it is flat out ignorant to say "he cheats on you therefore he does not love you" because well-3somes/open relationships are a lot more common in gay relationships than heterosexual ones."


    Uh....3 somes and open relationships do not equal cheating. Cheating is when you renege secretly on a commitment. That can happen in monogamous relationships, 3 ways, and in open relationships as well.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Oct 11, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    Ask you boyfriend the questions you WANT to ask...you know what they are...you're beating around the bush here...not helpful to you or your boyfriend...Asking about condoms and craigslist are not the main question here...

    Once you ask that question or those questions, hopefully, you'll receive clear information about what is going on.

    - David icon_wink.gif
  • haiqtpi

    Posts: 29

    Oct 11, 2012 8:28 PM GMT
    meninlove said hiaqtpi said, "See the thing is, (working under the assumption that he IS cheating) that him cheating and loving you are not mutually exclusive. Dynamics in gay relationships (to be my thesis) are fluid-and it is flat out ignorant to say "he cheats on you therefore he does not love you" because well-3somes/open relationships are a lot more common in gay relationships than heterosexual ones."


    Uh....3 somes and open relationships do not equal cheating. Cheating is when you renege secretly on a commitment. That can happen in monogamous relationships, 3 ways, and in open relationships as well.


    Either you misunderstood what I said, or the point was cloudy in that statement. To clarify, I obviously was not saying that cheating/3somes were cheating lol that would be an utterly absurd claim.

    I was working with the point that the idea of a relationship being 2 people monogamous for the rest of eternity has sorta loosened up a bit, especially in the gay world-where open relationships and 3somes are more common than an outsider would think. I suppose in hindsight that the 3some/open relationship statement was slightly misplaced or left without proper clarification. I was saying that just because he loves you, does not mean that he is not cheating on you, these are not mutually exclusive and was then going on to reference the fact that there are relationships with multiple partners and that does not necessarily mean that they do not love each other.

    You referenced commitment, and that cheating is wrong, and perhaps, if I may embellish-implies that you do not love someone, but the fault with said statement (if you were going in that direction) would be the following questions:

    Can you love a friend and still flake on plans (commitment to friends)?
    Can you love your job and still call out even though you are sick? (commitment to job)

    While they may be weaker cases I am highly caffeinated and not able to think at 100% capacity at the moment lol Either way, my point is that commitment does not equate to love. The closest thing to commitment, is bondage/servitude. Love, and relationships may have this factored into them, but are so so much deeper. Thus, if someone cheats on their partner, it does not automatically mean that they do not love said partner-I guess that is all I am trying to say.

    ***IF ANYTHING***
    All I have been advocating throughout all of this is that the OP acknowledge the fact that something may be going on, and that they need to communicate boundaries (because clearly they feel some may have been violated-we are merely speculating as to how far). I was suggesting that they should simply entertain the thoughts on both sides of the fence, since the evidence IS explainable, it is just as possible to be taken at face value.

    My points about fidelity were actually suggesting that they should think ahead. IF your bf did cheat, are you going to break up with them? I was also pointing out that incidents like this do not mean the partner does not love them and that they should not necessarily take it to mean as such. People make mistakes, and if a relationship can survive slips/issues and such (within reason) that after the dust settles, it will only be stronger. I never said break up with him (or at least I do not think I did haha)-I said prepare yourself because he may get defensive to the point that he may want to break up with you either because he did nothing wrong, or he did and is trying to save face. I was and still am genuinely concerned by the OPs sense of nativity and just want them as well prepared as possible for this. It is hard because ultimately the OP has to use his judgment, to see if he believes his bf or not. I merely implored him to truly be objective about it and not just believe every word that comes out of his bfs mouth, weigh it all and decide. THEN at that point, you decide what you are going to do. Just be fair to yourself and what you deserve.
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    Oct 11, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
    @OP: Trust is earned and it requires effort to maintain trust. It's obvious you are having trust issues which, I would think, is normal in newer relationships. My partner and I were together for a very long time before I knew without a doubt that I could trust him. What your bf is doing, is contrary to earning your trust, whether he is cheating or not.

    The key to any relationship is communication. You should discuss this with him, but in a way that will not put him on the defensive.
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    Oct 14, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    Wow... Really appreciate all the thoughtful feedback guys! Yes we had a great talk about everything and now our bond is even closer, part of it was my insecurity and part of it was we never really laid down what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior, so we each laid down some basic ground rules to follow. My mans morals are pretty strong and I had ever right to question him and he accepted it as valid. He's a retired correctional officer and our talk was blunt, to the point and logical, his factual ability to communicate is one of his strengths that attracts me so much.
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    Oct 14, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    "He just got back from Folsom"


    And that would be the Folsom bible study? the Folsom prayer meeting?


    no, of course not . . .


    . .. and you need to run immediately in the opposite direction and stop trusting people who don't merit your trust . . .
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 14, 2012 6:24 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidyour asking the wrong people..

    Talk to your man.. tell him how you feel.. listen to what he says.

    anything anyone says here will only ever be a fraction of what you can do and we don't know the full story nor how your relationship even works
    i agree with what liltanker said. i think you need to talk to your bf. if his the great guy you say he is than he should be able to talk with you. tell him how you feel. oh and do hangout condoms at those things so could be telling the truth
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    Oct 14, 2012 6:29 AM GMT
    My man already had this trip planned before we started dating and I was going to go with him, work schedule and I couldn't go.
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    Oct 14, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidWow... Really appreciate all the thoughtful feedback guys! Yes we had a great talk about everything and now our bond is even closer, part of it was my insecurity and part of it was we never really laid down what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior, so we each laid down some basic ground rules to follow. My mans morals are pretty strong and I had ever right to question him and he accepted it as valid. He's a retired correctional officer and our talk was blunt, to the point and logical, his factual ability to communicate is one of his strengths that attracts me so much.

    OMG I'm totally doing my black women doing a black man doing a white homo YAY

    It's always best to talk to the one you have issues with. If they choose not to talk OR spin a load of bullshit it'll quickly end.

    You always spot the inconsistencies when someones bullshitting you so you work it out pretty quickly!

    Now, next time you got a problem talk to him. Part of the job description of being another guys fella is taking on his insecurities, dealing with them and helping fix them. Part of your responsibilities is to understand you got them, work on overcoming them and keeping them in there place and not letting them rule the roost so to speak.

    But it's the same with everything, he's taking all that on and you in turn take it all on as well! so.. awesome!

    I'm gonna smile and wish you luck in the future cause it's just good stuff icon_smile.gif