Oct 11, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
Towards the end things got bad we both cheated on each other but I did it 1st. He was very abusive put me in the hospital a few times. He became unemplyd and that caused a huge problem because I was already working 2 jobs and taking care of my financial obligations. I did take care of him for a month. He didnt want to find a job its like he just stopped carrying.. He started doing drugs so I left him.. For 2 years we did the on and off thing. My fault for always going back to him when he crying for me or didnt have food for him or his dogs..
About 6 months ago he needed a ride somewhere I took him. He said he wanted to get his life back together told me all of the things I wanted to hear.. We havent talked since.. He is on all the gay hook up sites looking for PNP..It breaks my heart.. What did I do to deserve to be treated like this.. After everything I did to help him when he had nothing.. He is still unemplyd and I know I am better off without him.. Just makes me feel so unwanted.. Like he is happier being a tweeker then making memories with someone he once shared a life with.. No answers about some of the things that took place while we were together and living apart. He ignores my calls so I stopped calling. He ignores my emails so I stopped writing..
I dont think I could ever shut someone that I shared 5 years with out of my life like that.
Makes me question myself..
I struggle to understand the situation.. Was what we experienced real for him or all just a joke? Do I not deserve someone who will work just as hard as I do? Is it fair to give all that I have to someone who dsnt want anything more out of his own life?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I dont have anyone I can talk to about this.
About 6 months ago he needed a ride somewhere I took him. He said he wanted to get his life back together told me all of the things I wanted to hear.. We havent talked since.. He is on all the gay hook up sites looking for PNP..It breaks my heart.. What did I do to deserve to be treated like this.. After everything I did to help him when he had nothing.. He is still unemplyd and I know I am better off without him.. Just makes me feel so unwanted.. Like he is happier being a tweeker then making memories with someone he once shared a life with.. No answers about some of the things that took place while we were together and living apart. He ignores my calls so I stopped calling. He ignores my emails so I stopped writing..
I dont think I could ever shut someone that I shared 5 years with out of my life like that.
Makes me question myself..
I struggle to understand the situation.. Was what we experienced real for him or all just a joke? Do I not deserve someone who will work just as hard as I do? Is it fair to give all that I have to someone who dsnt want anything more out of his own life?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I dont have anyone I can talk to about this.