Sex Without Condom

  • Johnathan90

    Posts: 3

    Oct 12, 2012 10:32 AM GMT
    Hi there
    My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 months
    He’s 20 and I’m 22, both college students,
    so u could imagine how sexually active we are.
    When I had sex with other men I always used condoms.
    But since he doesn't have any sexually transmittable diseases
    and of course I don't either so we started having unprotected sex.

    So my question here is;
    *Under the assumption neither of us are cheaters
    1. Is it still possible to get STDs like Herpes and crabs etc.?
    (HIV/AIDS is impossible if none of us is the carrier right?)
    2. I know sex with condoms is always recommendable but what is the downside of having the unprotected sex? Could this harm either me or my bf significantly?

    I'm a little worried about us and we never had some kind of sex-class. Please pardon my ignorance.

    Thank you for your help,
    John
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    Oct 12, 2012 11:34 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said... that's the 20/20 hindsight story that is told too many times....."I trusted him."
    ^^^ this
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Oct 12, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    A lot of cases of transmission of STDs is through relationships where people trusted the other person enough to not have protected sex. I am not going to tell you what to do, but you should at least know that even in a relationship you should not exclude the potential risk factor.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Oct 12, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidWow...first posts like this.....ughh. Okay.



    If you're both free of anything, then it would be extremely difficult for any STD to suddenly appear. The easiest of the bunch you mention might be crabs, since it's conceivable (if unlikely) that those could be picked up in a non-sexual encounter. HIV especially isn't "easy" to get randomly. Herpes comes in two forms, type 1 and 2, and one of those is cold sores and fairly easily spread by contact. But the short and (misleadingly) sweet answer is: extraordinarily unlikely.

    The problem occurs with these two statements: "He’s 20 and I’m 22, both college students, so u could imagine how sexually active we are." and "Under the assumption neither of us are cheaters" ....how much are you willing to bet on that? icon_confused.gif Because that's the 20/20 hindsight story that is told too many times....."I trusted him." Protect yourself....do it for you; do it for him.


    excellent post...ditto.

    - David icon_wink.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 12, 2012 11:29 PM GMT
    Always use condoms.
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    Oct 13, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    How do you know either of you don't have any std's? Have you both been tested?
  • Johnathan90

    Posts: 3

    Oct 13, 2012 10:52 AM GMT
    beneful1 saidHow do you know either of you don't have any std's? Have you both been tested?


    yes, just three months ago
  • Johnathan90

    Posts: 3

    Oct 13, 2012 11:01 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidWow...first posts like this.....ughh. Okay.



    If you're both free of anything, then it would be extremely difficult for any STD to suddenly appear. The easiest of the bunch you mention might be crabs, since it's conceivable (if unlikely) that those could be picked up in a non-sexual encounter. HIV especially isn't "easy" to get randomly. Herpes comes in two forms, type 1 and 2, and one of those is cold sores and fairly easily spread by contact. But the short and (misleadingly) sweet answer is: extraordinarily unlikely.

    The problem occurs with these two statements: "He’s 20 and I’m 22, both college students, so u could imagine how sexually active we are." and "Under the assumption neither of us are cheaters" ....how much are you willing to bet on that? icon_confused.gif Because that's the 20/20 hindsight story that is told too many times....."I trusted him." Protect yourself....do it for you; do it for him.



    Thanks! This is really reassuring.
    I wanted to ask someone but didnt know where. Hope my post didnt make you uncomfortable or anything.
    Hmm I know how easy it is to cheat or to be cheated. Things could change in the future but for the time being I do trust him completely but thank you for your input.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:15 AM GMT
    Go get tested together and make it very clear that it is monogamous between the two of you. Gotta be rules, and rules that are followed in order for it to be "safe" in that sense.
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:53 AM GMT
    Johnathan90 said
    beneful1 saidHow do you know either of you don't have any std's? Have you both been tested?


    yes, just three months ago

    You did not say what kind of sex you were having - can we assume fucking?
    If you two were on a desert island, and were both virgins when you met, it would be safe to fuck your entire lives without condoms. Your "trust" seems to take the place of the desert island - nothing like absolute trust when it comes to the possibility of a wandering eye - but if you weren't both virgins - it is estimated that 97% of people with HIV will have antibodies within the first 3 months of infection. However, if one of you were exposed and just happens to be in that remaining 3% - well you can figure out how safe you are from a dreaded disease. Even if you trust each other, I would recommend condoms until after another negative test after another 3 months. Or maybe you both already are already positive but don't know it yet. The odds are in your favor - but you are gambling.
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Oct 27, 2012 5:41 PM GMT
    Have you two been tested for dormant/silent STDs? Like herpes and clamidea?
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    Oct 28, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    Johnathan90 said
    beneful1 saidHow do you know either of you don't have any std's? Have you both been tested?

    yes, just three months ago

    Test again, since there's a slight possibility that HIV will be missed at 3 months following exposure, so you test again at 6. Plus you must begin counting the months AFTER your last unsafe sex act, with nothing but safe sex or abstinence during all those months. If you have even 1 unprotected sex act then you must start the 6-month safe sex clock all over again before testing will prove you are negative. And of course this applies to both of you.

    But I also must endorse yourname2000's noting of the risks you face with unprotected sex, even if you are both totally STI clean today. Men, and especially young men like you guys, are prone to temptation. Or you get drunk at a party your BF didn't attend with you, maybe someone slips you something a little stronger, and next morning you wonder if it was merely a dream that you had sex there.

    And within a week, long before HIV will appear on any test you would take, you've already passed the infection to your BF. That's what happened to my late partner before I met him, infected by his cheating partner. And what happened to my present partner's late partner, who fortunately confessed his infidelity quickly and didn't pass the virus to my future partner.

    Unprotected sex is putting your life in another person's hands. Another person who could have a momentary lapse in judgment that comes back to sicken you both. It's a decision you must make for yourself, but remember in some cases the wrong answer can't be erased, cannot be undone, no second chances or redo's in this game.
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    Oct 28, 2012 11:50 PM GMT
    Does anyone else ever worry about future diseases we don't know about yet? I Sure you both might be HIV-, but what's to say there won't be a disease in the future that is similar and we didn't know about? And then because you had unprotected sex, you both have it? The people who were infected with HIV before it was known assumed they were okay, too.

    I would always play safe and use protection. I've never really understood the excitement of it anyways.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 02, 2012 1:27 PM GMT
    scruffmcgruff saidDoes anyone else ever worry about future diseases we don't know about yet? I Sure you both might be HIV-, but what's to say there won't be a disease in the future that is similar and we didn't know about? And then because you had unprotected sex, you both have it? The people who were infected with HIV before it was known assumed they were okay, too.

    I would always play safe and use protection. I've never really understood the excitement of it anyways.


    Hate to say this.. but.. Really?! Future diseases? Sounds like a hypocondriact. You've have stigmatized bareback sex in your mind so much to the point you're imagining diseases that doctors and science haven't found out to reason not having it.

    Me? I love bareback sex. I have occasionally with partners who are negative. Yes, its a risk.. but there's nothing like the excitement of being fully bare inside a sexy man. The feeling of penetration.. The tightness of his hole.. The excitement of fucking a man. And finally, the unrestrained orgasm inside him. If it weren't for STDs, gay men would return to natural, unprotected sex. Hell, it's difficult getting most men to put on a condom even with the diseases around because bareback is natural.
  • knisely852

    Posts: 3

    Feb 23, 2013 1:04 PM GMT
    I am not enjoying sex with my wife at fullest due to condom. The feeling of sex without condom is completely different. My wife is always scarred of pregnancy and even when I tell her the safe period, she do not agree to go without condom.


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    Feb 26, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    It is possible to get herpes and HPV because neither STDs are spread through blood but rather, through skin to skin contact. Also, a guy can have both diseases, be completely asymptomatic because the two diseases can lie dormant for a long time, and still spread them around.
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    Feb 26, 2013 8:29 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]knisely852 said[/cite]I am not enjoying sex with my wife at fullest due to condom. The feeling of sex without condom is completely different. My wife is always scarred of pregnancy and even when I tell her the safe period, she do not agree to go without condom.


    You crazy. Just to be clear, you might not be crazy, you might just be misinformed. Your "wife" is smart, first for knowing you should always wear a condom because she understands there is no such thing as a safe period and my 27 children can attest to this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 10:24 PM GMT
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2013 6:29 AM GMT
    knisely852 saidI am not enjoying sex with my wife at fullest due to condom. The feeling of sex without condom is completely different. My wife is always scarred of pregnancy and even when I tell her the safe period, she do not agree to go without condom.
    Your wife???
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    Mar 20, 2013 5:39 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidIt is possible to get herpes and HPV because neither STDs are spread through blood but rather, through skin to skin contact. Also, a guy can have both diseases, be completely asymptomatic because the two diseases can lie dormant for a long time, and still spread them around.


    Hi,

    First, it is possible to have both HPV and Herpes because they are two different viruses. Both can have some beneficial decrease in transmission when using condoms but there is always a risk of contracting them from partners (either through oral sex or skin contact).

    Second, it is possible to have both diseases and be completely asymptomatic. In fact for both HPV and genital herpes, most people tend to be asymptomatic most of the time. During these asymptomatic periods, there can be transmission of both or either virus to other partners.

    One important note is that HPV is so asymptomatically prevalent, that most people end up becoming infected as one acquires more life experiences (IE partners) and can be asymptomatic most of their life. The new HPV vaccine that was recently approved can prevent infection of some of the most common HPV strains and is just as helpful for men as in women in providing immunity.

    I hope that helps, stay safe.
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    Mar 20, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    It is well documented and well known that communicable, deadly diseases can be transmitted through unprotected sex.

    You now know.

    Choose unwisely, and you die a slow, painful, disfiguring, dignity-stealing death.

    Make your choice every time you have sex.
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    Mar 21, 2013 2:34 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidIt is well documented and well known that communicable, deadly diseases can be transmitted through unprotected sex.

    You now know.

    Choose unwisely, and you die a slow, painful, disfiguring, dignity-stealing death.

    Make your choice every time you have sex.
    Choose wisely, and you die a slow, painful, disfiguring, dignity-stealing death...in a nursing home with numerous age-related problems.

    Damned if ya do; damned if ya don't.
  • irishcream

    Posts: 42

    Mar 21, 2013 11:32 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif

    there is always a risk especially if you may not know that you already are infected.

    as much as we like to trust the other person, the question is whether we can really be very sure.
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    Mar 21, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    The colon naturally contains extremely harmful bacteria. Always wear a condom.
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    Apr 15, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    Even if you don't have any STDs/STIs, you still run the risk of getting some kind of infection. if your urethra comes in contact with fecal matter, it's literally touching bacteria and you *can* (not saying you will) end up with an UTI. not an STD, but it'll feel like one.