Getting Back together

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2008 2:59 PM GMT
    Has anyone had experience where a relationship ended and you ended up getting back together.

    I have had a great relationship fall by the wayside, and I know all and all the person cares but doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and is running because of it. You would think at 34, someone would know how to handle these feelings but he doesn't.

    I want to reach out but know I can't. Which we all know is hard.

    I just wondering what one's experience has been.

    This person is great he says he knows I am the "one" but is having a hard time handling things. Which is rather childish. I am not going to sit back hoping, but part of me is.

    Any insight would be great.

    Thanks guys!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2008 3:24 PM GMT
    This guy thinks you are the one but can't handle his feelings? AND he is this way at 34?

    Just move on. Let the guy grow up.
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    Aug 29, 2008 4:14 PM GMT
    I have had this exact same experience... and to be honest as much as you want it to work because you care very deeply for the person, until that other person grows up AND realizes that you will not be there at his beck and call (meaning you walk away from the situation and make the other guy work his way back to you) than he will realize what he has lost and if it is worth it to him or not. Ultimately it is his decision, but you should not let it control your life (not saying it is, but if it weighs on your mind) and you should be keeping yourself busy with other things, and spending time with other people...

    Hopefully that helps!

    -Rob
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    Aug 29, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    Back in the day....my partner and I seperated twice. Each time it was for 6 months....we would continue to talk during the seperation(s) and even went through some counseling. We'd get back together and everything would pretty much be the same....we'd fall right back into our "roles" and routines and then finally one day, I just decided we were done. There was no discussion about working it out (again). It was finally over. 17 years.
  • qalbi30

    Posts: 116

    Aug 29, 2008 4:55 PM GMT
    Running 11's advice is the best.

    Wish you well and hope that it works out.icon_exclaim.gif
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    Aug 30, 2008 11:07 PM GMT
    I think people break up for a reason and that those reasons persist for a long time. They can absolutely evaporate, but in most cases it'll take considerable time apart (in the league of years). So my perspective is you move on if they don't exist and if in a couple of years they somehow reenter your life, skeptically treat them as if they're someone new. But if they're not, make sure you see it.
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    Aug 30, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    I personally couldn't walk away from a relationship where I couldn't say, "I gave it everything I had to make it work." If you can say that, then maybe being apart from each other is best. But if not, maybe working on it a bit more may help - possibly with a counselor's help as well.

    I can't help much, but then again, I'm the eternal optimist too!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    Some amazing examples here of what works for me...........and that is - I leave the past - in the past.
  • Jacob_dane

    Posts: 100

    Sep 21, 2008 9:21 PM GMT
    Let's see here. After a year and a couple months my ex broke up with me. He said he didnt see us "getting to that higher level" in our relationship. HE said he loved me has and always will but that he jsut didnt see us together. Apparently he'd been battling with these thoughts for a couple months. WEll itcompletely broke me apart. To know that he loves me but jsut didnt see us together. After a month of being apart but still living together... he decided to get back together.... well it all seemed like it was going well until about 5 months later when apparently he was dealing with the same emotions and broke up with me again.... it hurt even worse the second time. he then decided to get back together with his ex that lived in NY. well we lived together for the next 7 months and to be honest became even closer than we had been in our relationship... in may he moved to Ny and i moved to IN... well now im in NY with my best friend... my adviece would be that if you do decide to get back together at some point.. be careful... because if you get let go again... it hurts just as bad if not worse....