A revelation.

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    Oct 13, 2012 5:09 PM GMT
    Just thought I'd share my experience being at a gay bar yesterday:
    I'm no stranger to the gay club but it's also not a place I visit frequently, for good reasons-- I never know what to do or how to fit into such a place. o_o Here I am, surrounded by all kinds of gay men, some of which would stare, some of which would smile. I noticed though, my behavior. I'd look away from gazing into their eyes which probably made them think I was disinterested. I generally give off that stoic vibe. That night, I wanted to dance so badly with someone, to be able to enjoy myself with someone from crowds of people who seem to do so freely and without hesitation (I did do a few line dancing though which helped :3).

    I guess, I have still a lot of social anxiety and shyness when it comes to other people. I... feel like I'm socially awkward. I sometimes am lost. I don't know what to say or what to do in those situations. I think I do a good enough of job being able to facilitate conversation to cover myself; however, I know in my heart, I feel perturbed and anxious-- like a part of me is writhing in the clutches of a giant. It's a feeling similar to being cornered I guess.

    *Takes deep inhale and exhales slowly*

    But, I am doing my best to simply to just be, and allow my feelings and actions to guide me. I know there's really no advice that can raise my confidence and comfort level in such an endless amount of people.

    This may sound funny, but the gay clubs really weren't the hype and excitement I was expecting it to be. I have way more fun at this one straight bar down in Ft. Worth than I do at the gay bar-- even though I'm essentially swimming with the fishes. I don't know. I guess I feel ostracized and left apart from the rest. Everyone pretty much knows each other there. I don't really know anybody. I'd like to someday but it'll probably be a while.

    Just one day, I'd like to take myself alone there and see how it's like without anyone to help me. It leaves me in a very vulnerable position but alas. I sort of.. need that, I feel, in order to get a better handle, a better feel of the situation independent of others to interfere with me ability to process and translate the situation.

    Well, that's what I wanted to share. :3 Hope you enjoyed!

    /Blog post
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    Oct 14, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    I remember my first solo gay bar experience... it was like getting thrown into a pack of wolves... which I handled quite well, considering that I'd never spoke guys as cunning, horny, and direct as them before... a real eye opener for my first days on RealJock, but that's something altogether... those days were EPIC... anyhow, you'll first have to go to a gay bar, before any of what you just said will be of any use. I say wait til you're ready mentally, emotionally and financially; cause you can see a lot of money going into drinks, cigarettes and a cute guy you happen to stumble upon.
    Good luck with this and let me know how it goes, please! icon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gif
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    Oct 14, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    JR_RJ saidI remember my first solo gay bar experience... it was like getting thrown into a pack of wolves... which I handled quite well, considering that I'd never spoke guys as cunning, horny, and direct as them before... a real eye opener for my first days on RealJock, but that's something altogether... those days were EPIC... anyhow, you'll first have to go to a gay bar, before any of what you just said will be of any use. I say wait til you're ready mentally, emotionally and financially; cause you can see a lot of money going into drinks, cigarettes and a cute guy you happen to stumble upon.
    Good luck with this and let me know how it goes, please! icon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gif


    Ew... cigarettes. :S That shit irritates the fuck out of my system. >~< It's caused my eyes to become all red, itchy, and dry now because the friend I was with smokes. D: I, however, do not and have absolutely no interest in doing so.

    That said, yes, I think when I have the financial means, the courage to deal with the situations that arise, I can go scuttle with the rest of gays. icon_surprised.gif In person, I'm rather shy and evasive, kind of like... a deer or something. I have hard time staring at strangers and glancing at them, I get nervous (in fact, I just made myself nervous thinking about it o-o). I also don't think most gay men are capable of approaching one like myself and being bold enough to say, "Hey, I noticed you were alone, what's going on with you tonight?" The art of conversation is being replaced by Grindr. >:/ --although the ones that are older and troll-ish, I tend to scamper away from. +D

    Mmmph. :/ I find gay men to be intimidating at times. Oh well. Thankies JR! icon_biggrin.gif *Glomps and hugs*
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 14, 2012 6:28 AM GMT
    Your awkward staring and fear of rejection is fairly common with gay men, especially if the bar scene is still new to you. I guess the reason "creepy 40 year olds" aren't afraid to hit on anyone they please is because if you keep at it long enough eventually you realize it doesn't matter if someone rejects you. You'll save yourself a lot of time and frustration if you just talk to whoever you want to talk to. If they reject you, oh well.
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    Oct 14, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidYour awkward staring and fear of rejection is fairly common with gay men, especially if the bar scene is still new to you. I guess the reason "creepy 40 year olds" aren't afraid to hit on anyone they please is because if you keep at it long enough eventually you realize it doesn't matter if someone rejects you. You'll save yourself a lot of time and frustration if you just talk to whoever you want to talk to. If they reject you, oh well.


    Easy for you to say Mister So and So that's smexzy and such. >:/ People would pay a dollar just to lick you. ._.

    What happens when people get approached by...

    Me: beaten-onion-head-emoticon.gif?129286249

    Youse: embarrassed3-onion-head-emoticon.gif?129

    *Le sigh* :/ If only I were as pertiful as youse.
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    Oct 14, 2012 7:35 AM GMT
    r u from gaiaonline
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 14, 2012 7:42 AM GMT
    McQueen saidr u from gaiaonline


    No?
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    Oct 14, 2012 7:49 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    McQueen saidr u from gaiaonline
    No?
    oh ok cuz u seem like a weeaboo
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    Oct 14, 2012 7:52 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    ParadiseLost said
    McQueen saidr u from gaiaonline
    No?
    oh ok cuz u seem like a weeaboo


    icon_confused.gif Okay. Not sure where this is all coming from or what a weeaboo is.
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    Oct 14, 2012 8:33 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost saidicon_confused.gif Okay. Not sure where this is all coming from or what a weeaboo is.
    its mostly b/c of all ur emotes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 14, 2012 8:36 AM GMT
    McQueen saidr u from gaiaonline
    tumblr_mbtr0muExR1qbdrkb.gif
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    Oct 14, 2012 8:37 AM GMT
    Neight said
    McQueen saidr u from gaiaonline
    tumblr_mbtr0muExR1qbdrkb.gif
    tumblr_mb1pqtHC2v1qi19rg.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 14, 2012 1:30 PM GMT
    McQueen said
    ParadiseLost saidicon_confused.gif Okay. Not sure where this is all coming from or what a weeaboo is.
    its mostly b/c of all ur emotes


    They're just Emotes. It really doesn't mean anything. I just like peppering my posts with them because I think they're funny and cute.

    Also, what's so funny about being part of Gaiaonline any who?