In this situation, would you have said something or nothing?

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    Oct 15, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    Edit: I needed to shorten this...paraphrase

    Say you were dating 2 guys at the same time, but for a very short time (say you only met like 2 or 3 times). But then you found out the guy you were dating is trying to hookup with the other guy you're dating. Would you feel compelled to say something like, "hey, I know you know a mutual friend of mine...what's going on between you 2?" Or would that be a bit like blowing someone's shit up/putting them on the spot.

    In my case I did say something, but guy got uncomfortable and felt he got "busted". I did let him know though that I didn't have intentions of moving forward with the other guy. But reason I said something is because I wanted to get an idea of whether it was going to be worth continuing to see this guy or not. Eventually we talked it out, and we've kept in contact and agreed to meet up since the first time we met had such good chemistry. But then he flaked out, leading me to think he is still too embarrassed to meet up with me again.

    Was it a good idea? Or should I have kept quiet about it (which would have made me feel uncomfortable anyway knowing he was sending pics and texts to someone I knew.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:25 AM GMT
    No, I wouldn't say anything.

    -this sounds like a merry-go-round I'd get off of.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    OH TOTALLY Get a threesome happening!!!!
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:48 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidOH TOTALLY Get a threesome happening!!!!


    I don't think it was going down like that...
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:04 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidI'm not going to chase him down and ask him out. Not my style.


    I'm just gonna leave that one hanging there

    and I'm glad I caught it before you changed your post
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    Oct 15, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    FuzzyPecs25 saidI'm not going to chase him down and ask him out. Not my style.
    I'm just gonna leave that one hanging there and I'm glad I caught it before you changed your post


    LOL...the guy I met at the gym yes.

    The reason why I won't ask him out is because I have already initiated contact with him on 2 occasions: once when I approached him at the gym and 2 when I seen him to my surprise at a gay bar. I've already made it clear to him that I'm approachable, he's a man...he can make the next move if he chooses to. I won't go any further than what I have already did.

    I like to give people space and let them decide to take things to the next level, once I feel I've done my part in taking it to the next level. In fact, I seen him the other day at the gym and didn't say anything to him first. When I was in the locker room, for the first time he said hello to me first.

    What also makes it a bit hard...we're far apart on age, and I have a feeling he's quite wealthy by the car he drives. so I'm not going to be running after him like some groupie ass. We go to the same gym and bars...the field is wide open for him to make a move. And he hasn't yet so I'm not going to force it.
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    Oct 15, 2012 5:18 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    FuzzyPecs25 saidI'm not going to chase him down and ask him out. Not my style.


    I'm just gonna leave that one hanging there

    I'm just gonna quote my self here and add a little something.

    The greater majority of gay guys have absolutely no balls when it comes to approaching other guys.

    So.. you wanna eat... hunt it down!
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    Oct 15, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    How is the guy busted?
    If you're free to date the third guy, then he's certainly free to do the same.

    If you feel the need to say something, you could have mentioned that you know the third guy.
    It's tacky to bring up exes or other guys you're dating when you're on date with someone.
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:14 AM GMT
    you're dating 2 dudes at the same time, why does it matter if one of the guys you're dating does the same thing to you?
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:22 AM GMT
    Boxer_Red saidyou're dating 2 dudes at the same time, why does it matter if one of the guys you're dating does the same thing to you?


    Where did I say it mattered? To me it really didn't matter because I hadn't known either of them long enough to be exclusive. There's a difference between dating and being exclusive. Unless someone agrees to be exclusive, then I couldn't care less who else they are dating. Because I'll be doing the same as well.

    Apparently both of them knew each other before they knew me. What I was trying to find out was, since this person was pursuing this guy all this time...what was his intentions with him and what was his intentions with me, without actually asking. BTW, I'm not dating 2 of them at the same time. After me and the other guy found about the guy was trying to hookup with both of us...we haven't hung out since. However, it was unrelated to that. We actually kind of laughed it off.

    Macaque saidHow is the guy busted?
    If you're free to date the third guy, then he's certainly free to do the same.

    If you feel the need to say something, you could have mentioned that you know the third guy.
    It's tacky to bring up exes or other guys you're dating when you're on date with someone.


    Busted was his words verbatim and how he said he felt. I said I happened to know this other person and I proceeded to give him the stage to tell me more. I already knew what was going on, and he knew where I was getting to. I was in no way mad at him and I let him know exactly what I said earlier, we just met, no one is exclusive...and I'm okay with that. we could be speed dating for all I care.

    I agree with it being out of form to bring up exes and other guys while on a date, but this was a different scenario. If anything it's tacky to hit on me when you've been chasing a guy for 2 months, and tacky on the other guy's part for calling me his boyfriend in public, yet clearly and blatantly leaving himself open to other partners.
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    Oct 15, 2012 8:07 AM GMT
    You could have a boyfriend and not be monogamous.
    But it sounds like a mess all around.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    lilTanker said
    FuzzyPecs25 saidI'm not going to chase him down and ask him out. Not my style.


    I'm just gonna leave that one hanging there

    I'm just gonna quote my self here and add a little something.

    The greater majority of gay guys have absolutely no balls when it comes to approaching other guys.

    So.. you wanna eat... hunt it down!

    I like the way you Think, Tank! icon_cool.gif