never been with a man till now... help?


  • Oct 15, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    Lets start out with a couple things about me...
    Ive never had any kind of sex with a man before, let alone dated one.
    Until now. We've been on 2 'official' dates, and frankly, I have absolutely no clue what I should do or what i should expect. Thats where I need help. I really like this guy, and as far as I know he likes me back. I dont know if he has ever been with anyone else before or not, so I sont know wether to try and push things further or let him take the reigns. Help? What should I do? Anyone in a similar situation or have been in a similar situation?
    Thanks!
    -B
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:51 AM GMT
    How could you not know if he has ever been with a guy or not?

    When I'm hanging with a new guy, all we talk about is sex. (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story)

    Say something really sly like "So have you been with a guy before?" That should get an answer....
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:51 AM GMT
    Take a deep breath.

    Dates are always a hit and miss. Do something you both like and whenever there is a chance for close contact, see if you can linger around for a few moments.

    People have a natural instinct about setting personal space. This space can only be compromised when he/she feels secure enough to let the person of interest within their space.

    Hopefully I am making sense....I need have my tea soon icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:55 AM GMT
    Uh, ok. Not to sound pervy, but what have you guys done so far? You guy have kissed and felt each other up, right? If not, then that's your first step.

    If you're asking us if you should have sex with this guy, then we can't answer that. It's up to you to decide. If you really want to go for it, then go for it. Make the first move, and see how he responds.
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:20 AM GMT
    Yes. Everyone here has been in a similar situation at some point in his life, unless someone here had sex with his twin brother in utero.

    Question: what have you been doing on your dates? I only because you two have not talked (or at least you haven't opened up about your lack of experience) and you haven't gotten physical. So if you're interested in going out again you could talk to the guy about his first time or about when he came out or something so you know where he stands. And here's the kicker, you tell him you've never been with a guy before.
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:23 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHow could you not know if he has ever been with a guy or not?

    When I'm hanging with a new guy, all we talk about is sex. (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story)

    Say something really sly like "So have you been with a guy before?" That should get an answer....


    Soo true. The exact same thing that I say all the time.


    It doesn't have to be weird.. just say it casually. Most of the time ppl don't even give a shit. Some how it is a different story in the hetero world. Girls smirk if you tell them you don't know what to do.

    icon_lol.gif
  • joxguy

    Posts: 236

    Oct 15, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    Just talking about each other. Saying how you like some physical feature he has, "Like you smile", "Wow like your arms" and then reach out and touch his arm and see if he is relaxed with that.

    I also agree with a previous note that ask what have you done? Have you guys hugged and/or kissed. If so when you kiss him next time put a hand on his upper leg and see if he is comfortable with that.
  • unicoman1

    Posts: 822

    Oct 15, 2012 4:07 PM GMT
    Well 1st of all good luck to you both. You have been on a few dates. Why not try to get to know him a bit better.. Ask him if he's been with other guys.. Ask questions that are going through yer mind. Above all, Have fun, cause this should be the very most exciting time of relationships.
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    Oct 15, 2012 4:11 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHow could you not know if he has ever been with a guy or not?

    When I'm hanging with a new guy, all we talk about is sex. (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story)

    Say something really sly like "So have you been with a guy before?" That should get an answer....


    I dont talk about sex and i am still single. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 15, 2012 4:12 PM GMT
    ChristianTrs said
    jmusmc85 saidHow could you not know if he has ever been with a guy or not?

    When I'm hanging with a new guy, all we talk about is sex. (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story)

    Say something really sly like "So have you been with a guy before?" That should get an answer....


    I dont talk about sex and i am still single. icon_wink.gif


    tought i had only 1 date in my life....xD
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    Oct 15, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    this is cute, im kinda jealous
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    Oct 15, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    Two dates and y'all still haven't sexed?

    That's totally unheard of. I'm confused now.
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    Oct 15, 2012 5:58 PM GMT
    They don't have 6-packs where you live?
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:21 PM GMT
    Shell said
    jmusmc85 saidHow could you not know if he has ever been with a guy or not?

    When I'm hanging with a new guy, all we talk about is sex. (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story)

    Say something really sly like "So have you been with a guy before?" That should get an answer....


    Soo true. The exact same thing that I say all the time.


    It doesn't have to be weird.. just say it casually. Most of the time ppl don't even give a shit. Some how it is a different story in the hetero world. Girls smirk if you tell them you don't know what to do.

    icon_lol.gif



    We are all gay men here . Talking about sex doesnt have to be awkward or uncomfortable. I certainly don't hold it against my partner if he has a colorful sexual past. Though if he says he doesn't use condoms he sets off red flags for me...
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    Oct 15, 2012 10:18 PM GMT
    You have never ben with a man before, well thats nothing new by many men that wated to try a different experience. The question to ask yourself is "Do you want this man? because if you wait to long, he may find omeone else, or situations change all the time.
    You need to reach inside yourslf to see if he is the one, nevermind if he has been with someone else. Geeze we are all not virgins, or he is shy.
    The time you have to worry about a man is when he answers in one word answers, or just he doesnt talk.
    I would if I was you, date him for a while, before bedtime.
    Sex is not everything about a relationship. then too, e may not like the way you proform. I say look at some porn, and see if you want to have love like a man can do.
    Which ever way it works out, it's up to you, not me or someone else.
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    Oct 16, 2012 12:23 AM GMT
    Don't expect too much and just be yourself. Get to know that person on a friendship level first for couple months before doing anything that can ruin that. If they sleep with you the first night.....it's all about sex and chances are it will end badly........Have confidence in yourself......is he even worthy of your expectations or your qualities?
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    Oct 16, 2012 12:39 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    Shell said
    jmusmc85 saidHow could you not know if he has ever been with a guy or not?

    When I'm hanging with a new guy, all we talk about is sex. (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story)

    Say something really sly like "So have you been with a guy before?" That should get an answer....


    Soo true. The exact same thing that I say all the time.


    It doesn't have to be weird.. just say it casually. Most of the time ppl don't even give a shit. Some how it is a different story in the hetero world. Girls smirk if you tell them you don't know what to do.

    icon_lol.gif



    We are all gay men here . Talking about sex doesnt have to be awkward or uncomfortable. I certainly don't hold it against my partner if he has a colorful sexual past. Though if he says he doesn't use condoms he sets off red flags for me...


    I love you.
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    Oct 16, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Don't over think it. Trust yourself. Follow your heart. There's nothing to be nervous over. The universe if full of love, and you're taking a bite. It will be awesome.
  • tturner2099

    Posts: 108

    Oct 16, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story).


    This!
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    Oct 16, 2012 1:41 AM GMT
    Is the new generation taught that it forbidden to communicate under any and all circumstances? Most of these threads would indicate that this is the case.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 16, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    Have you been with a woman before, for a date or sex?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 16, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    buddy, i would not stress it much. my advice for you is to take it slow. if he is similar to you than you may have to initiate. i say start with a kiss and take it from there
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    Oct 16, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    tturner2099 said
    jmusmc85 said (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story).


    This!



    Bitch, ain't nobody axe fo' yo' opinion!!!!
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    Oct 16, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    tturner2099 said
    jmusmc85 said (Which is probably why I'm still single. But that's a different story).


    This!


    That was troll-ish, but it still made me laugh.

    @OP - It depends on what you want out of the relationship. If all you want is sex, and that's what you talk about, then that's probably all you're going to get. If you want an actual relationship, then there is no need to rush. Move at whatever pace you both are comfortable with.
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    Oct 16, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidIf you want an actual relationship, then there is no need to rush. Move at whatever pace you both are comfortable with.


    Worst advice EVAH! We all know men don't wait for sex.