I really wish gay men would stop objectifying Black guys

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    Oct 15, 2012 3:27 AM GMT
    So last night I'm sitting at the bar just minding my own business...when this drunk ass pervert (White), probably in his late 20s or early 30s, comes up to me and after 30 seconds of normal talk, he asks how big my dick is. Then he proceeds to tell me, "I sucked my first Big Black cock last weekend and always wanted to do it, but I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. So I'm trying to do it again though".

    I was like dude, why are you talking to me? Like seriously, unless you're going to buy me a drink, get the fuck out of my face, you disgust me. Then I turned my back away from him. He kept putting his arm around my shoulder and I'm like, get your fucking hands off me I don't know you. He was hounding me all night long...I kept my cool, cause I was mostly sober, but normally that would have been grounds to get a drink hurled in their face; along with the cup and it would have been glass.

    To me that's just so downright disrespectful, even if someone is simply using that as a main trait of liking me. It can be hard to find that balance between the chocolate chaser who's a fiend for massive dicks and the guy who's probably never been with a Black guy, but is curious about the things the choco chaser is after. Just looking to experiment.

    I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it wanting it, but damn if that's the very first and only thing someone is looking for in me, they can go fuck their own-selves. That makes me think the person will hook up with ANY Black guy no matter what he looks like, based on that.

    And what really annoyed me is the guy even assumed I'm "African American" to begin with. If he seen me in the light, he'd of noticed my arm hair is the same color as his and every other White guy out there and that I'm in fact mixed with 3 other races. Idiot.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    I guess that's just the nature of the game. Some people will assume all black guys have huge dicks, so those people that want a huge dick will only see black guys as that. It is rather disappointing that no matter how far black people seem to go in progress in society, there is always someone who manages to objectify them and make them seemingly lose their place as an equal.

    I feel bad for you man because you were just looking to enjoy yourself and this guy ruined your night. I won't hastily say that all guys will be going after black guys like that, but this guy kind of just puts that thought into my mind. Although I might attribute his persistent attitude to him being drunk.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    I have come across guys like that too, but they (for me) are the vast minority. I have gotten the "I normally don't like black guys, but..." Again, the minority. Ignorance is not exclusive. It loves EVERYBODY. The few times it's happened to me, I just let the guy know he was being a DB.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    So even tho he disgusted you, you would still take a drink from him. Hmmmm...what were you saying about the white guy again?
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    OneSongGlory saidI guess that's just the nature of the game. Some people will assume all black guys have huge dicks, so those people that want a huge dick will only see black guys as that. It is rather disappointing that no matter how far black people seem to go in progress in society, there is always someone who manages to objectify them and make them seemingly lose their place as an equal.

    I feel bad for you man because you were just looking to enjoy yourself and this guy ruined your night. I won't hastily say that all guys will be going after black guys like that, but this guy kind of just puts that thought into my mind. Although I might attribute his persistent attitude to him being drunk.


    +1 It was just a single bad experience. You just have to shake it.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:44 AM GMT
    Caslon21000 saidSo even tho he disgusted you, you would still take a drink from him. Hmmmm...what were you saying about the white guy again?


    No, I had my own Bloody Mary. I said that to be an asshole right back to him, and run him off. If he did buy me a drink, I would have either splashed it in his face or got up and walked away. But I wasn't going to walk away from where I was sitting just because he wanted to talk foolish. But I did let him know instead that it was no way to approach someone. So hopefully he learned something.

    Listen, I don't have an issue with White guys. I'm a very interracial guy as it is. But I don't want to be interracial with someone who's going to be sizing me up like that.

    Although the guy was drunk, that was just the most recent experience. It's not the first time I've heard something along those lines.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    umm... that happens everywhere!

    When I was in the US a black guy came up to me in the club and told me he wanted to put his big black cock in my tight white arse.

    He got no where.

    Although the other black fella I ended up talking to for an hour did...

    Funny how being nice to someone gets you something.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    Well if it's recurring then that probably gets really annoying. I have no idea how that type of situation really would play out since I've never been in one, but if you asked the guy to move can't you get like management to remove the guy that's harassing you?

    I know the problem is that guys will have that idea about black guys, but I don't know how you can really change some guys from wanting you just for a big dick.
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:53 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidumm... that happens everywhere!

    When I was in the US a black guy came up to me in the club and told me he wanted to put his big black cock in my tight white arse.


    Well, I realize too that part of it has to start with us as well. I see many guys out there objectifying their own big dicks and others without necessarily highlighting any other qualities.

    One of my friends didn't help the cause either, when somehow in the conversation completely unrelated to genitalia, the word 10 and a half came up. When he said that, people in the bar nearby looked in our direction. So he's like, I'm going to nickname you 10 and a half. We're in the bathroom peeing and he yells out, "hey 10 and a half..." I'm like really LOL? In the bathroom?
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    Caslon21000 saidSo even tho he disgusted you, you would still take a drink from him. Hmmmm...what were you saying about the white guy again?


    No, I had my own Bloody Mary. I said that to be an asshole right back to him, and run him off. If he did buy me a drink, I would have either splashed it in his face or got up and walked away. But I wasn't going to walk away from where I was sitting just because he wanted to talk foolish. But I did let him know instead that it was no way to approach someone. So hopefully he learned something.

    Listen, I don't have an issue with White guys. I'm a very interracial guy as it is. But I don't want to be interracial with someone who's going to be sizing me up like that.

    Although the guy was drunk, that was just the most recent experience. It's not the first time I've heard something along those lines.

    You wrote, "Like seriously, unless you're going to buy me a drink, get the fuck out of my face, you disgust me."

    That says if he bought you a drink, you'd take and he didn't have to get out of your face. There's a word for a person like that. Several, actually.
  • TheBizMan

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    Oct 15, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    This happens to people of all races, by every race.

    Though I will agree it is more prevalent that white men approach minorities with a certain curiosity.
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    Oct 15, 2012 9:17 AM GMT
    Caslon21000 said
    You wrote, "Like seriously, unless you're going to buy me a drink, get the fuck out of my face, you disgust me."

    That says if he bought you a drink, you'd take and he didn't have to get out of your face. There's a word for a person like that. Several, actually.


    What's the word or words that you want to call me? I don't give a fuck. I don't understand what you're mad for. I didn't walk up to the bar and approach him, he came up to me. I had my own drink. He was the one who came up to me talking some shit about his fantasy and then telling me he didn't enjoy it as much as he thought he would.

    Being that he objectified my race in a sleazy way and then said it out in a way as a further put down...I could have said whatever the fuck I wanted to say to get him away. And since he was drunk, it didn't need to be at all polite. Anybody else would have. But you're sitting here trying to call me out? What if I came up to you and made some stereotypical statement about your penis size?

    Only reason I didn't reach over the bar and grab a bottle of Ciroc and pop him with it is because I know all the staff at the bar and I was aware he was drunk, and I know when people are sloppy drunk they say stupid shit. So I'd be the better person.
  • ASHDOD

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    Oct 15, 2012 9:27 AM GMT
    people fall into stereotyps in many ways ,just be happy he did it in a ''good'' way [cock size] and not like me being jewish, i had to explain once that im not rich.
    and that's only one example....
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    Oct 15, 2012 9:41 AM GMT
    ASHDOD saidpeople are objectified in many ways ,just be happy he did it in a ''good'' way [cock size] and not like me being jewish, i had to explain once that im not rich.
    and that only one example....


    I was just going to say, I'm sure some people are like, "why would you be mad about that". As if it would be a underhand compliment or something.

    But the reason why I don't appreciate it is because I don't want to meet someone who is going to compare my shit to the next dude and be sizing me up like that. I'll say it point blank, but most guys are happy with my size. I also tend to be bigger than most guys I hookup with also (Yikes, I just made myself sound flighty). There are guys who are bigger than me too. But guys who have unrealistic expectations of how big a Black dick should be are the ones who tend to think I have some massive monster in my pants and disappointed when I don't. And that's where the issue is for me. Because if you're stepping to me like that, that says nothing to me about physical attractiveness or chemistry or anything. I could look like candyman and you'll go down on me if it's 12"?
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    Oct 15, 2012 11:29 AM GMT
    I believe this happens to all races not just black in some shape or form. Also it seems as though your over generalizing one or few bad experiences to everybody.

    Maybe it's the location in which you are talking to these guy. Any drunk person at club is not a means to base the characteristics of entire demographic
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Oct 15, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    Yeah, it happens to all of us, mate. Ignorance is universal. I'm Irish. I can tell you a few I've gotten while I've been living in the States.

    "Hey, you're Irish, I'm from Ireland!"
    "Really, what part?"
    "New York City."
    "And your parents?"
    "Boston. But I'm Irish!"

    "Hey, is the Irish curse true?" (For those who don't know, the Irish Curse is that all Irishmen have little dicks and I have no idea where it came from.)

    "You sound like a leprechaun!"

    "Do you get in fights all the time because you're Irish?"

    Yeah, I've heard it over and over again and it gets wearying. And then comes St. Patrick's Day when the Americans decide to make a drunken plastic spectacle of my people. And yet somehow I slug onwards.

    All I can say is keep standing up for yourself, mate, but have the wisdom to know that you can't eradicate ignorance, much less drunk blokes at the bar.
  • Buddha

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    Oct 15, 2012 1:38 PM GMT
    Shoulda bust a cap in 'is azz!

    ...

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    Oct 15, 2012 1:45 PM GMT
    Many moons ago, a close friend described BBCs as resembling "seamonsters" and I was never able to unsee it.

    So if a guy came up to me in a club and pulled a line about his giant black penis, I would say "Oh..egh- OH sorry gotta find my friends!!" and in my head I'd be thinking, "seamonsterseamonsterseamonsterseamonsterseamonster".

    Also I'm not a bottom, so the idea doesn't appeal to me anyway.
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    He was drunk. Drunk people say and do stupid things. Your thread title is misleading. You could swap "black guys" for any number of types.
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:54 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidHe was drunk. Drunk people say and do stupid things. Your thread title is misleading. You could swap "black guys" for any number of types.


    I dont know man, I was reading this post and all like "Dude, some stranger was rude to you? Jesus christ, Ive called the police they are on their way with warm blankets and cocoa!"
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    Shell said
    OneSongGlory saidI guess that's just the nature of the game. Some people will assume all black guys have huge dicks, so those people that want a huge dick will only see black guys as that. It is rather disappointing that no matter how far black people seem to go in progress in society, there is always someone who manages to objectify them and make them seemingly lose their place as an equal.

    I feel bad for you man because you were just looking to enjoy yourself and this guy ruined your night. I won't hastily say that all guys will be going after black guys like that, but this guy kind of just puts that thought into my mind. Although I might attribute his persistent attitude to him being drunk.


    +1 It was just a single bad experience. You just have to shake it.


    This is the best approach to take.

    Do yourself a favor and spend your emotional energy--and time--worrying about things that actually matter. Even if tasteless prejudiced assholes like that guy comprise a sizable portion of the gay community, you needn't waste your time worrying about them.

    More important, however,I think you need to work on being the awesome person that you want others to be. For example, your viewing that guy just as a $pon$or isn't much better than his viewing you as a black dick for his pleasure. Also, it wouldn't hurt to tone down the drama when discussing such a sensitive topic. You can express yourself fully--even when you're frustrated or pissed off--without cussing and cyber-yelling.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:03 PM GMT
    Objectification and fetishism are part of human nature and they will exist as long as human beings exist. The trick for those being objectified or fetishized is to ignore the perpetrator and resist the temptation to go down to the perpetrator's level.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:06 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidObjectification and fetishism are part of human nature and they will exist as long as human beings exist. The trick for those being objectified or fetishized is to ignore the perpetrator and resist the temptation to go down to the perpetrator's level.


    I agree. Unless its some sort of role play thing...best to ignore it like you would any douchebag person.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    I take it you're afraid you'll disappoint the guys with this preconceived notion.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    Djrclemson saidI believe this happens to all races not just black in some shape or form. Also it seems as though your over generalizing one or few bad experiences to everybody.

    Maybe it's the location in which you are talking to these guy. Any drunk person at club is not a means to base the characteristics of entire demographic


    I agree. There's this too. I've always had big feet. There's the long held belief that big feet equals big cock. So.....I was hit on for my big feet. icon_wink.gif