Walks Like Tarzan Talks Like Jane

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    Oct 15, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    Online he looks like a rugged manly man, buff tough and scruffy- you meet in person and a gucci purse falls out of his mouth. "heyyy gurllll"

    Ive noticed a trend- especially amongst older gay guys where they seem to hypermasculinize themselves on the outside but it seems to be more of a mask for effeminate qualities.

    side note: Im not hating-i have friends that are more in the middle/effeminate- Im speaking more about "truth in advertising" and being comfortable with yourself.

    Thoughts? Has anyone else noticed this trend? Tell your stories
  • mizu5

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    Oct 15, 2012 1:28 PM GMT
    So essentially men who speak more "gay" shouldn't be muscular rugged looking or appear to enjoy "masculine" things online?
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:36 PM GMT
    mizu5 saidSo essentially men who speak more "gay" shouldn't be muscular rugged looking or appear to enjoy "masculine" things online?



    No im speaking to the inherent hypocrisy of guys who market themselves as "Masculine" and are looking for other "masculine sports dude bro types"- yet in real life they don't actually play any sports and are quite a bit more effeminate than their online persona's would indicate.

    Its fine for someone to say "hey i like a masculine guy- but im not that masculine" as opposed to "i like other masculine dudes like myself(but im actually a total queen"
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name saidOnline he looks like a rugged manly man, buff tough and scruffy- you meet in person and a gucci purse falls out of his mouth. "heyyy gurllll"

    Thoughts? Has anyone else noticed this trend? Tell your stories

    Didn't we have this same thread here in the past? With virtually the same sentence about the surprise Gucci purse falling out?

    In any case, I haven't noticed such a trend. In fact, I rarely hear the stereotypical effeminate gay voice in person anymore, except in movies/TV or when a guy's being deliberately campy for laughs, or dressed in drag.

    But in everyday encounters almost never. Maybe it always was a conscious exaggeration and not a natural facet of being gay, that is going out of fashion.
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:50 PM GMT
    I really havent run into this much but I also dont take what happens online too seriously.

    I mean, you meet in person to see who they are right? If they are a little feminine and it isnt a match no big deal.

    BTW how come feminine has to do with how they sound? What if someone looked and sounded like an every day guy but enjoyed things like...pastry and custard making in his spare time, would he be less or more attractive?
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    Oct 15, 2012 1:56 PM GMT
    It's not a trend--it's a fact of life (and it exists equally among older and younger gay guys). There are psycho-social underpinnings for it, and it emanates from certain expectations. In any event, I agree that people should just be themselves and not pretend to be someone else. If you're born effeminate, then be it and embrace it--no need to try to pretend that you like sports when you haven't thrown a football in your life. To be sure, there's nothing wrong with being macho and muscular on the outside while at the same time feeling like a member of royalty inside if that's your deal, as long as you're not trying to misrepresent yourself or deceive others.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidIt's not a trend--it's a fact of life (and it exists equally among older and younger gay guys). There are psycho-social underpinnings for it, and it emanates from certain expectations. In any event, I agree that people should just be themselves and not pretend to be someone else. If you're born effeminate, then be it and embrace it--no need to try to pretend that you like sports when you haven't thrown a football in your life. To be sure, there's nothing wrong with being macho and muscular on the outside while at the same time feeling like a member of royalty inside if that's your deal, as long as you're not trying to misrepresent yourself or deceive others.


    *highfive* you get it
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name saidOnline he looks like a rugged manly man, buff tough and scruffy- you meet in person and a gucci purse falls out of his mouth. "heyyy gurllll"

    Ive noticed a trend- especially amongst older gay guys where they seem to hypermasculinize themselves on the outside but it seems to be more of a mask for effeminate qualities.

    side note: Im not hating-i have friends that are more in the middle/effeminate- Im speaking more about "truth in advertising" and being comfortable with yourself.

    Thoughts? Has anyone else noticed this trend? Tell your stories


    I can't help but to ask, particularly considering the trajectory of the OP which seems to be about affectation: do you actually say "amongst" in person? And would "among" be the nonpursed version? I'm comfortable with it either way. I was just curious.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    Chainers saidI really havent run into this much but I also dont take what happens online too seriously.

    I mean, you meet in person to see who they are right? If they are a little feminine and it isnt a match no big deal.

    BTW how come feminine has to do with how they sound? What if someone looked and sounded like an every day guy but enjoyed things like...pastry and custard making in his spare time, would he be less or more attractive?


    Its not exclusively about how they sound, its also how they act/walk/body language etc. Again im talking about people marketing themselves as fictional character- they want something they dont embody themselves.

    also I dont think things like cooking or sewing feminize someone- i know some bad ass dudes that knit, and I myself am a personal chef.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:09 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    catchy_screen_name saidOnline he looks like a rugged manly man, buff tough and scruffy- you meet in person and a gucci purse falls out of his mouth. "heyyy gurllll"

    Ive noticed a trend- especially amongst older gay guys where they seem to hypermasculinize themselves on the outside but it seems to be more of a mask for effeminate qualities.

    side note: Im not hating-i have friends that are more in the middle/effeminate- Im speaking more about "truth in advertising" and being comfortable with yourself.

    Thoughts? Has anyone else noticed this trend? Tell your stories


    I can't help but to ask, particularly considering the trajectory of the OP which seems to be about affectation: do you actually say "amongst" in person? And would "among" be the nonpursed version? I'm comfortable with it either way. I was just curious.


    0_o I need more coffee
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    They are being themselves. And, yes, you are hating.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    Caslon21000 saidThey are being themselves. And, yes, you are hating.


    im talking about someone who actively seeks a particular type of person, markets themselves as this type yet is in fact someone else entirely- please re-read. thanks.
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name said
    Chainers saidI really havent run into this much but I also dont take what happens online too seriously.

    I mean, you meet in person to see who they are right? If they are a little feminine and it isnt a match no big deal.

    BTW how come feminine has to do with how they sound? What if someone looked and sounded like an every day guy but enjoyed things like...pastry and custard making in his spare time, would he be less or more attractive?


    Its not exclusively about how they sound, its also how they act/walk/body language etc. Again im talking about people marketing themselves as fictional character- they want something they dont embody themselves.

    also I dont think things like cooking or sewing feminize someone- i know some bad ass dudes that knit, and I myself am a personal chef.


    But why do we define femininity by the physical behaviors and not their personality. What if there was someone who looked like an every day guy but was nuturinf, caring and supportive. Would he be masculine or feminine?
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    Oct 15, 2012 2:59 PM GMT
    theantijock said

    ..... do you actually say "amongst" in person? And would "among" be the nonpursed version?....


    Busted!icon_wink.gificon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    catchy_screen_name saidIve noticed a trend- especially amongst older gay guys...

    I can't help but to ask, particularly considering the trajectory of the OP which seems to be about affectation: do you actually say "amongst" in person? And would "among" be the nonpursed version? I'm comfortable with it either way. I was just curious.

    Mayhaps fair OP speaketh in a manner surest to be comprehended by heads as grey as mine.
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    Oct 15, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name said

    im talking about someone who actively seeks a particular type of person, markets themselves as this type yet is in fact someone else entirely


    It's actually you who is assuming a person can only exclusively speak/move a certain way because of how they look.
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    Oct 15, 2012 5:32 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name saidOnline he looks like a rugged manly man, buff tough and scruffy- you meet in person and a gucci purse falls out of his mouth. "heyyy gurllll"


    I thought I was gonna have to be revived at the Gucci purse part icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Oct 15, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name said
    Caslon21000 saidThey are being themselves. And, yes, you are hating.


    im talking about someone who actively seeks a particular type of person, markets themselves as this type yet is in fact someone else entirely- please re-read. thanks.


    This is what you get when you shop around online.
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:35 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name saidOnline he looks like a rugged manly man, buff tough and scruffy- you meet in person and a Gucci purse falls out of his mouth. "Heyyy Gurllll!!!"



    If it's not Gucci by Tom Ford i ain't havin' it either. icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:45 PM GMT
    I remember going to International Mr. Leather in Chicago for the first time several years ago. This is about as hyper-masculinized as gay guys get. I was totally intimidated by all the gruff looking muscle daddies. Then I got closer and heard them completely QUEENING OUT, and I knew everything was going to be just fine. Kinda killed my boner though... icon_razz.gif
  • unicoman1

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    Oct 15, 2012 7:48 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_nameHas anyone else noticed this trend?


    I never thought a voice had to match a persona....People are who they are.
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    Oct 15, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    SF79 saidI remember going to International Mr. Leather in Chicago for the first time several years ago. This is about as hyper-masculinized as gay guys get. I was totally intimidated by all the gruff looking muscle daddies. Then I got closer and heard them completely QUEENING OUT, and I knew everything was going to be just fine. Kinda killed my boner though... icon_razz.gif


    I'm not turned off by guys queening out( don't we all?), at least they're being true to themselves about how they are.
    As long as their voices aren't any more high pitched than mine(hahaha!), then it's cool.
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    Oct 15, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    I got the opposite issue having a slim curvaceous body, and young face, but a voice that can speak from Middle C, down to Super Bass in full voice. An elderly man once called me a World Wonder at my first job, ten years ago cause of the "disconnect".
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    Oct 15, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    I'm not turned off by guys queening out( don't we all?), at least they're being true to themselves about how they are.
    As long as their voices aren't any more high pitched than mine(hahaha!), then it's cool.

    I don't mind their natural pitch, as long as their tones are pleasant when speaking. I can't date snippety, vindictive, or gaudy speakers at any range. Give me shy or smug any day!icon_neutral.gif
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    Oct 15, 2012 8:12 PM GMT
    I notice it a lot. Its annoying