the guy im turning into

  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Oct 15, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    so basically im just a normal, awkward, shy, religious, uncomfrontational and caring kind of guy, i was just a good boy icon_smile.gif but problem is, that was before.

    now, i yell at people when they do something annoying, eyerolls everytime when annoyed, use my sarcasm to annoy annoying people, and give my patented smirk when someone does something humiliating... i just hate certain kind of people now.

    now a little backstory. i was bullied before for being gay even though i was not out yet, couple that with me being skinny and triple that with me having body odor everytime i choose not to put deodorant(they give me rash and hey dont laugh i'm still sensitive about it. idk why i shared this stuff(maybe its because i cant afford a therapist thats why i posted it here cause i need advise lol)).

    I never really had the courage before to confront them cause of the circumstances so i think i gave all my frustrations to strangers.

    Should i contact my bullies, call them out for being one and demand an apology(that sounds absurd but that's the only thing that would make me feel better).

    I mean what should i do? I dont want to be angry anymore. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 15, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    Kill them, and tell them that if they bully you again, you'll kill them again.
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    Oct 15, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    Your long-suppressed, internalized anger (at possibly yourself) is making you passive aggressive. I'm not sure if calling people out on their past crap is going to help, but you can try with a couple. But I think the person you have to forgive isn't a bully but yourself for having put up with it for so long.
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    Oct 15, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    I agree, calling out the past isn't productive however standing up for yourself in the future would be. Also, channel some of the pent up energy into a supportive group for gays or some other group you're fond of. Become active in something where you can expel some of the anger/energy and also meet new people that will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

    There are plenty of great people in this world that will love you just as you are. Don't let a few jerks change your view on the majority of society. Hang in there. Good luck.
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    Oct 15, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    I find that gratitude saves me from feeling a lot of negative things. My problem is not so much anger as it is complaining about things. When I am about to complain, I think to myself "____ is such a pain in the ass... but I'm grateful that _____." There are probably a lot of things in your life that are going really well. Focus on those things and remind yourself that no matter what other people are thinking, doing or saying, you are a good person with a lot to live for. It works for me.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Oct 16, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    Confront your bullies, nah. Just forgive them and let it go, they probably forgot all about you and you're just carrying around all this hate by thinking about what they have done to you in the past. Let it go, the only person you're hurting is yourself.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Oct 16, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Screaming is good. A gay boy screaming and pulling at his hair gets their attention. Then kick them in the balls.
  • tturner2099

    Posts: 108

    Oct 16, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    tumblr_liximeuBYm1qzimz8o1_400.jpg
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Oct 16, 2012 1:23 AM GMT
    fix ur BO problem before u do anything icon_confused.gif

    kthx
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Oct 16, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    Import saidfix ur BO problem before u do anything icon_confused.gif

    kthx


    this is a long time, like high school days(8yrs ago). i just had a bad case of bo for a day or two and them bullies cant let go of that day and have to remind me everytime that i HAD them. im bo-free since the day afte THAT day(thanks to my hypoallergenic deo haha).
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    Oct 16, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    a shower would help too icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    Watch every episode of REVENGE, and take notes from Emily Thorne.
    icon_cool.gif
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Oct 16, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidWatch every episode of REVENGE, and take notes from Emily Thorne.
    icon_cool.gif


    ooohhh revenge 8(this is the infinity sign lol) I LOVE THAT SHOW.
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    Oct 16, 2012 2:31 AM GMT
    cromi said
    GigoloAssassin saidWatch every episode of REVENGE, and take notes from Emily Thorne.
    icon_cool.gif


    ooohhh revenge 8(this is the infinity sign lol) I LOVE THAT SHOW.


    RIGHT!
    Watch, and learn. icon_cool.gif
    MABUHAY!
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Oct 16, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    cromi saidso basically im just a normal, awkward, shy, religious, uncomfrontational and caring kind of guy, i was just a good boy icon_smile.gif but problem is, that was before.

    now, i yell at people when they do something annoying, eyerolls everytime when annoyed, use my sarcasm to annoy annoying people, and give my patented smirk when someone does something humiliating... i just hate certain kind of people now.

    now a little backstory. i was bullied before for being gay even though i was not out yet, couple that with me being skinny and triple that with me having body odor everytime i choose not to put deodorant(they give me rash and hey dont laugh i'm still sensitive about it. idk why i shared this stuff(maybe its because i cant afford a therapist thats why i posted it here cause i need advise lol)).

    I never really had the courage before to confront them cause of the circumstances so i think i gave all my frustrations to strangers.

    Should i contact my bullies, call them out for being one and demand an apology(that sounds absurd but that's the only thing that would make me feel better).

    I mean what should i do? I dont want to be angry anymore. icon_sad.gif


    Dude, bro, the first thing you need to do is deal with that body odor thing. That's a dead end when it comes to finding love. (They do make scented oils for people who are allergic to deoderant). Next, you have to ask yourself whether or not your new found "aggressiveness" is because that's who you really are deep down inside or are you attempting to become the stereotypical gay "queen" acting kinda gay guy. Which ever it is, just be who you really are because that's who you really are. Regarding bullies, if you want to contact past bullies from your life, that means that you haven't gotten over them. Most bullies will end meeting another bully who is stronger than them and who will make them suffer for being a little bully because bullies scream out to the everyone around them, "somebody please kick my ass because I think that I am the baddest man on the planet and no one else in the world can kick my ass." And usually, a true thug will answer their cry for attention and kick their ass. So those scales of justice will be evened up eventually for what those bullies did to you. Move on with your life.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 16, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    The past is the past .. leave it there and move on ... don't associate with those that bullied you in the past ... it just gives them new amo for the future and makes you look like you are the one with the problem
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    Oct 16, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidWatch every episode of REVENGE, and take notes from Emily Thorne.
    icon_cool.gif


    Damn, beat me to the punch. Will have to now set your house on fire.icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 16, 2012 3:39 AM GMT
    This is mostly all about you, how you characterize others based on you expect them to see you, loosely based on how you see yourself. People talk shit everywhere all the time. Can't let it control you. You can only really control yourself, and how you react to your own nature, and the environment you perceive. Either; let it go, let it destroy you, or throw it a cookie and let it entertain you for free. I did this as both victim and bully from my past... please, I insist, take a step and get all you have to say on the table. Just realize you may have to leave it there, and walk away.
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    Oct 16, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    you should move to dubai to start your life over again
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Oct 16, 2012 7:11 AM GMT
    for the last time, i dont have bo anymore. i figure out how to use deodorants a long time ago lol...