Oct 17, 2012 9:19 AM GMT
Hey guys, so I need a reality check here. I have major commitment issues. These commitment issues usually show up at first contact with a guy I'm interested in. It shows up by allowing me to detach enough to see fairly clearly how we are getting along, and I'm being perceived. I don't like this about myself, but I'm typically always in control of how I come across, especially on first dates.
But now there's this situation, where it's a guy who I have a major man crush on, and for the first time I feel like I don't have control. I like the feeling, don't get me wrong, but I'm concerned he's not interested and at this point maybe I'm pushing too much?
So it started out with a few messages back and forth on plenty of fish. We hit it off online, had a LOT in common, but then we both got busy. We tried to set up a few dates, I canceled once, he canceled once.
Then I see him on grindr. We started talking a lot, seemed to hit it off again, exchanged facebooks, exc... From there we tried to set up date... after date... after date... once again he cancelled about as many times as I cancelled. It ended up being around 5 or 6 times total. His excuses were always work related, which I understood (and sounded legit to me). My excuses were always honest. once it was work related, once I got some dates mixed up, and once I was in the process of moving. I'm pretty sure I initiated most of the dates (if not all). We would try and set up a date about once a week or so... nothing excessive.
So I leave things as they are, and decide "meh, it's just not going to happen." Then I see him after a few months, on grindr again. We message back and forth, and I ask him if he wants to try one final time for a date. He agreed. I haven't texted him back yet... because I'm feeling like a creeper.
He hasn't done anything to suggest to me that he's not interested. Though he hasn't done much to suggest that he's overly excited about it either (though he's told me already he's the quiet, shy type).
I dunno... think I should get over my man crush (despite not wanting to ha), and move on, or go ahead and try this one last time? Gawd... so this is what it feels like to have a crush... and not be the one in control... I kinda like it.
But now there's this situation, where it's a guy who I have a major man crush on, and for the first time I feel like I don't have control. I like the feeling, don't get me wrong, but I'm concerned he's not interested and at this point maybe I'm pushing too much?
So it started out with a few messages back and forth on plenty of fish. We hit it off online, had a LOT in common, but then we both got busy. We tried to set up a few dates, I canceled once, he canceled once.
Then I see him on grindr. We started talking a lot, seemed to hit it off again, exchanged facebooks, exc... From there we tried to set up date... after date... after date... once again he cancelled about as many times as I cancelled. It ended up being around 5 or 6 times total. His excuses were always work related, which I understood (and sounded legit to me). My excuses were always honest. once it was work related, once I got some dates mixed up, and once I was in the process of moving. I'm pretty sure I initiated most of the dates (if not all). We would try and set up a date about once a week or so... nothing excessive.
So I leave things as they are, and decide "meh, it's just not going to happen." Then I see him after a few months, on grindr again. We message back and forth, and I ask him if he wants to try one final time for a date. He agreed. I haven't texted him back yet... because I'm feeling like a creeper.
He hasn't done anything to suggest to me that he's not interested. Though he hasn't done much to suggest that he's overly excited about it either (though he's told me already he's the quiet, shy type).
I dunno... think I should get over my man crush (despite not wanting to ha), and move on, or go ahead and try this one last time? Gawd... so this is what it feels like to have a crush... and not be the one in control... I kinda like it.
TEXT HIM! Immediately....first thing in the morning. You guys have lost all urgency in this. It's gone on long enough; shit or get off the pot. 
Start building your relationship NOW, with the tools (and time) you've got. When you both start to see the value of what you're trying to create together, you WILL find the time to spend together for even more.
