Been seeing this guy for over a month now. . . when can I ask him to be my bf?

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    Oct 17, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    I've been hanging out with this guy for over a month now. Prob like 6 or 7 weeks at this point. We've been out to dinner a few times....almost always come back to my place (he lives at home with his mom) and sleeps over.

    Cutest little white boi ever. I honestly think so anyway. He knows how to make me laugh so much and he is just goofy, funny, and super cute and sweet to me. Always saying things to me like "i'm his human teddy bear" that he likes to cuddle with etc....bla bla yeah yeah i know im a sucker for sweet talk. But really chill in a laid back confident kind of way tho...

    Truth is I want so bad to be like "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you" but I think i rather committ murder than to come off as "needy" or "clingy"....

    I dunno why , but i feel like expressing an interest to be with someone is perceived as being "needy" ..../ and I dont wanna be that. So, I dont say shit. Just go with the vibe thats happeneing in the here and now.

    I want a boyfriend I guess and I want it to be him. But am unsure as to where he stands on the issue. I've casually asked him before what he wants (not specifically about me or us, just in general).. and he's like kinda vague and just like "yeah, i'd be open to a bf I guess".... The "i guess" part stuck out to me.

    I feel like should I even waste my time and energy on this person anymore? fuck, why do I have to like this person so much? It actually sucks, because I dont know where I stand with him.
    I wish it was simple and easy

    My idea of the perfect conversation with him:

    Me: I want you to be my boyfriend.
    Him: I'd love for you to own my ass
    Me: All to myself?
    Him: yes.
    Me: Then I'll make you mine, how's that sound?
    Him: good
    me: icon_smile.gif

    But that wont ever happen lol just a silly fantasy of mine. fuck.
    But i just wanna ask him to be mty bf and all that. I dunnno. icon_redface.gif

    He can cook too. I bought all this food last nite from publix and he made some awesome food with it. He's perfect to me. lol but he'll never know.

    thats what gets me kinda down....is i feel like i can't tell him cuz he wont be feelin it like I am. ya know?

    he says he's feelin it and i told him i was too, but that was it.... dont wanna focus too much on the label of bf i know. but i also want him to be mine. lol i want him to be my man.

  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Oct 17, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    Join the crowd. There's only one thing for you to do: Be honest and take the shot. Lay it on the table. See how he responds. He might say 'Yeah'. He might run for the hills. It's a 50/50 proposition and it never gets easy. I wish you the best of luck. Sounds like you have much great chemistry with him.
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    Oct 17, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    There is no time table as to when you are both allowed to become a couple. Things seem like they are going well so I say go for it. Just make sure to let us know what happened!!!
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    Oct 17, 2012 4:10 PM GMT

    "Truth is I want so bad to be like "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you" but I think i rather commit murder than to come off as "needy" or "clingy"...."


    Giving in to this fear may cost you more than you realize. icon_wink.gif

    Here, an acid test for you:

    Now just suppose he said to you,
    " "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you"

    Would you run for the hills from this needy clingy man?



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    Oct 17, 2012 4:54 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    "Truth is I want so bad to be like "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you" but I think i rather commit murder than to come off as "needy" or "clingy"...."


    Giving in to this fear may cost you more than you realize. icon_wink.gif

    Here, an acid test for you:

    Now just suppose he said to you,
    " "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you"

    Would you run for the hills from this needy clingy man?





    haha nah not at all. I'd be all for it. It would make my day icon_biggrin.gif
    buuuuut, i also have an underlying feeling that he's not ready for that whole "boyfriend" thing..... like he aint ready for it, or maybe he doesn't want it as much as I do....and im not about to come out asking for it either. I gotta stay cool and nonchalant lol
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    Oct 17, 2012 5:03 PM GMT
    klassik said
    meninlove said
    "Truth is I want so bad to be like "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you" but I think i rather commit murder than to come off as "needy" or "clingy"...."


    Giving in to this fear may cost you more than you realize. icon_wink.gif

    Here, an acid test for you:

    Now just suppose he said to you,
    " "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you"

    Would you run for the hills from this needy clingy man?





    haha nah not at all. I'd be all for it. It would make my day icon_biggrin.gif
    buuuuut, i also have an underlying feeling that he's not ready for that whole "boyfriend" thing..... like he aint ready for it, or maybe he doesn't want it as much as I do....and im not about to come out asking for it either. I gotta stay cool and nonchalant lol


    ..or he's caught in the same fear you have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    I've learned that one year is a good mark to call someone your boyfriend.
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    Oct 17, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    klassik said
    meninlove said
    "Truth is I want so bad to be like "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you" but I think i rather commit murder than to come off as "needy" or "clingy"...."


    Giving in to this fear may cost you more than you realize. icon_wink.gif

    Here, an acid test for you:

    Now just suppose he said to you,
    " "i wanna be your boyfriend, I really like you, i think we'd be a good couple, I like you"

    Would you run for the hills from this needy clingy man?





    haha nah not at all. I'd be all for it. It would make my day icon_biggrin.gif
    buuuuut, i also have an underlying feeling that he's not ready for that whole "boyfriend" thing..... like he aint ready for it, or maybe he doesn't want it as much as I do....and im not about to come out asking for it either. I gotta stay cool and nonchalant lol


    ..or he's caught in the same fear you have.


    hahaha u might be right!!! I hope so anyway
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    Oct 17, 2012 6:58 PM GMT


    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2012 7:26 PM GMT
    Why do you want him to be your boyfriend if neither of you are able to talk to each other?

    His half-assed answer could just be a response to your somewhat vague general question. In general he's lukewarm towards having a boyfriend, but to you specifically he could be excited. Since you didn't talk about you specifically you just don't know the answer.

    You have to take a risk if you do want him to be your boyfriend, or sit around and wait for him to take the risk. Yeah, he'll never know that you care if you don't tell him.

    So you could start by saying that you like spending time with him and that you don't want to be seeing anyone else. Then you can go from there.
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    Oct 17, 2012 11:30 PM GMT
    klassik said

    My idea of the perfect conversation with him:

    Me: I want you to be my boyfriend.
    Him: I'd love for you to own my ass
    Me: All to myself?
    Him: yes.
    Me: Then I'll make you mine, how's that sound?
    Him: good
    me: icon_smile.gif




    BAHAHAHA

    "own my ass" - daym get it

    "i'll make you mine"

    straight up thought

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRev2ytG8hlu6LMrMK8zM6
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    Oct 17, 2012 11:38 PM GMT
    I would just rent a U-Haul, pack all my belongings, dump them in his apartment, and refuse to leave even under threat of violence. The lesbians are really better than us on this stuff.