Why do I like assholes?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:14 AM GMT
    Dear Diary,

    No, get your mind outta the gutter, it's not about THAT kinda assholes. But why am I attracted to bad boys? Like, I'm seriously no shit attracted to guys who are probably no good for me (or society).

    When I was a 19 year old PFC in the Marines, my first bf was a Sgt. stationed at a near by air base. Our relationship was short lived as I actually walked in on him cheating on me and even then we kinda continued to see each other. It only ended when he was sent to the brig (jail) for allegedly raping another male Marine in his unit. Even though he swore he was innocent he still spent a few months locked up. I was then sent to Japan for the better half of a year, and so that was the end of that.

    Then there is my second bf of 6 years who was a total white trash skinnier version of Jesse James. I can't even begin to count the number of times he cheated on me. Plus, lets just say he knows the local police department very well, and I will leave it at that. Even though I knew the relationship was toxic towards the end I continued to stay, mostly outta loyalty and a genuine desire that there was still hope for us. But alas, it was not meant to be and we parted ways earlier this year.

    Now, I find myself attracted to two men. One, who I have mentioned many times on here, is my type 110% on paper, but has kinda fallen off the face of the earth to deal with personal issues. I don't know if pursuing this will be worthwhile, but I do believe he has much of the qualities I am looking for in a partner despite his current shortcomings. Things started off great, now I'm not so sure what is going on. I'm not saying he is an asshole, well, who am I kidding, he kinda is. But more in the fact as in he looks like your typical MMA fighter guy who will kick your ass if you look at him wrong. And he will.

    The other guy I am attracted to is also 110% my type, but at times I may feel is "too nice" for me. He is a little but more older, reserved, and laid back than the guys I'm used to shacking up with. I haven't mentioned him on here but I will call him my Palm Beach boo. I'm not saying I I want a guy to be an asshole to me all the time, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't still curious as to what would become of going out with the hard on the outside, cuddly on the inside Brit as opposed to my funny Palm Beach boo. I also haven't had the rapport like I had with the Brit in the beginning, though I have been thinking about the Palm Beach guy a lot these past few days. He is a great guy.

    And before people say I should start dating both, I have always been confused by the notion of dating two guys at the same time. I feel that I would almost be lying to both of them. As in, I would be keeping one guy on the side to see if things work out with the other. Doesn't this make me a relationship whore?

    I dunno. I just ate a big ole slice of pizza and I'm waiting for it to go down my tummy so I can go to el gym. So talk to me.....icon_cool.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said Why do I like assholes?
    Because you're gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:19 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    jmusmc85 said Why do I like assholes?
    Because you're gay.


    FUCK YOU! You stole what I was going to say! As soon as I saw this thread I was going to say that!!! icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:21 AM GMT
    Back on topics boys!!!! Back on topic!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidDear Diary,

    No, get your mind outta the gutter, it's not about THAT kinda assholes.




    I stopped reading here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    Sorry about the comparison, but I've heard the same from many women. They don't want to date prepackaged sensitive goody-2-shoes but bring out the best in their guy. So if someone is a bit of an ass, but becomes boyfriend material WHEN HE IS WITH YOU, that's your bullseye.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    My advice: go out with the nice guy (Palm Beach boo)

    I did just that with my current bf and I have never been happier. He was the guy who was "too nice". At the beginning I wasn't really into him, but one day I woke up and I couldn't see myself with anyone else right now. Give it a try, you never know what might happen.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 18, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    Here's what I read:

    No, get your mind outta the gutter,
    When I was a 19 year old PFC ... he was sent to the brig (jail) for allegedly raping another male Marine
    Then there is my second bf
    Now, I find myself attracted to two men
    I just ate a big ole slice of pizza and I'm waiting for it to go down my tummy so I can go to el gym. So talk to me.

    Pizza is fattening
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said

    Pizza is fattening


    And will, ultimately, come out your asshole.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    AMoonHawk said

    Pizza is fattening


    And will, ultimately, come out your asshole.


    So what you are saying is.....I should marry a pizza man?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:03 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    Ariodante said
    AMoonHawk said

    Pizza is fattening


    And will, ultimately, come out your asshole.


    So what you are saying is.....I should marry a pizza man?


    Depends how much free pizza you can score.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-13807-1346171181-20
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 18, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    Are you sure either of these guys even deserve you? The Brit sounds like a player who can sweep you off your feet but can't be relied on and/or trusted, and the palm beach guy has no game. I think you need to focus on yourself and your career. You'd make an amazing boyfriend and your future husband will be someone you meet when you least expect it, and neither of you will want to let go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:09 AM GMT


    I say go with the nice guy, the only reason you are hesitating is that he doesn't match your previous boyfriends in the personality department. Don't you deserve to have a guy who is kind, considerate and respects you? Of course you do. The main thing is to really ask yourself, if you choose the MMA guy, will you be happy in the long run or will it lead to the same old pattern? I think you already know the answer.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMaybe these guys aren't assholes....maybe you just bring it out of them? icon_confused.gificon_razz.gif



    No. They are assholes. In all seriousness, trust me on that. I tend to somehow end up with tortured souls. The Palm Beach guy hasn't showed signs of being cray cray, but I know a lot less about him than the Brit, so he very well may be the same....icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:18 AM GMT
    My guess and oversimplified explanation is that you're attracted to alpha males, and more specifically to the "bad boy" version of them. There are different types of alpha males in our society: the successful business man, the authority figure (politician, policeman), the elite athlete, etc. A variety of circumstance you experienced growing up influenced you into thinking that bad boys were ultimate alpha males, so those are the ones you seek out to mate with and to form a pair-bond with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    Many real estate buyers have "rescue fantasies" where they buy inappropriate properties because they feel they can "save" them with their innate good taste. Or people who prefer wrecks because they can renovate them to their specifications. Perhaps there's a bit of that at play here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidMany real estate buyers have "rescue fantasies" where they buy inappropriate properties because they feel they can "save" them with their innate good taste. Or people who prefer wrecks because they can renovate them to their specifications. Perhaps there's a bit of that at play here?



    oooo Jmusc he just said you're as big as a house! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidMy guess and oversimplified explanation is that you're attracted to alpha males, and more specifically to the "bad boy" version of them. There are different types of alpha males in our society: the successful business man, the authority figure (politician, policeman), the elite athlete, etc. A variety of circumstance you experienced growing up influenced you into thinking that bad boys were ultimate alpha males, so those are the ones you seek out to mate with and to form a pair-bond with.


    Hmmmm.....I think you are on to something....icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    I'd like to say I tried, but my mind went straight in the gutter when I saw the title and op ... sorry .... icon_redface.gif

    I'd go with the second guy. Nothing wrong with "nice"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    WaytoDawn saidI'd like to say I tried, but my mind went straight in the gutter when I saw the title and op ... sorry .... icon_redface.gif

    I'd go with the second guy. Nothing wrong with "nice"



    Anyone want to translate what da fuq dis bitch said?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:55 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    WaytoDawn saidI'd like to say I tried, but my mind went straight in the gutter when I saw the title and op ... sorry .... icon_redface.gif

    I'd go with the second guy. Nothing wrong with "nice"



    Anyone want to translate what da fuq dis bitch said?
    He's saying to go with your "Palm Beach boo".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    As Samantha Jones says, unless one of them truly says , I love you...You're a free agent.

    icon_lol.gif

    Look bad guys seem so attractive because of the notion 'I can be the man who can set him right and he will love me for it'

    BE REALISTIC

    If the latter guy has the best all round qualities, nurture those and get the fruits for your labor.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI think I'm ready for a nap at this point.


    A disco nap?

  • tturner2099

    Posts: 108

    Oct 18, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    I vote for Brit. I snatched the bad boy. I'm the nice one. He's still an asshole. Twerks for us!