Dating advice

  • ALj20

    Posts: 7

    Oct 18, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    Hi guys,

    So after about 4 months of hanging out with this guy as friends, we agreed to start dating and be more than friends...so far so good I think, he says he really likes me, he says he really likes the idea of "us" and we're doing things that friends don't normally do...he promised me at one time that he will try his best not to hurt me in any way, and I promised to him that I'll try my best to try and be his hero - you know, all those cheesy stuff which I did mean! XD

    Anyway, he told me he's not really using his facebook account nor does use whatsapp (an app on phones that uses internet data instead of credit) yet just this morning I found out that he added this guy who was familiar to me since he was the same guy I was talking to grindr last year and I think that the guy was the reason why he downloaded whatsapp too...

    I know that all the things I'm thinking at the moment are probably just assumptions...I keep assuming that he's not really being serious with me and that he still feels the need of seeing other guys yet dating me at the same time...

    I know I might be overthinking this and just complicating things for both of us...

    I want to ask him about it and talk to him about it (and prove that if it gets to it, I'll even fight to prove that I really like him) but it might cause him to think that I'm possessive especially since we're still dating and all...but I guess I'm not being possessive really, I just really want "us" to work if you guys know what I mean..

    Hope you guys can say your opinions about this matter - and no, as much as possible, I really don't want to not see him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    Why not make "you" work instead of "us".

    Lasting relationships are not dependent on things like Facebook.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    ALj20 saidI want to ask him about it and talk to him about it (and prove that if it gets to it, I'll even fight to prove that I really like him) but it might cause him to think that I'm possessive especially since we're still dating and all...but I guess I'm not being possessive really, I just really want "us" to work if you guys know what I mean..


    Cutie, if you came to me with a lame story like, "ZOMG, you TOLD me you don't use your Facebook, but you just added this skank I know from Grindr," I would so block you from all my social networking profiles!

    After all, who likes boiled rabbit???
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    Oct 18, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    The facebook or phone app thing is irrelevant at a dating period. You guys are dating so he's free to do what he wants with his life. If you are really interested in this guy then tell him you want to get serious with him and put your cards on the table. There's nothing wrong with being a bit possessive if you know how to do it.
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Oct 18, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    I'll try to make this short, but it's normally a long and detailed story. I made friends with a couple guys when I first came out, I was 22. They were my first gay friends and both military. They became a regular part of my social life and I felt I really trusted them. They had previously dated, but were still friends, with one occasionally breaking down with the "why don't you love me" cry (they still had their issues). After 4 months the "one" moved away for a job and I ended up dating the other. In the beginning he casually used Manhunt and had no issue of me knowing that but assured me he just used it for conversation. Though I felt I trusted him I checked his email one day because I didn't trust the guys who might contact him and I didn't believe he would tell me what they were saying to him. In the process I ended up finding he had a long history of replying to Craigslist ads and occasionally putting up his own vague ones, all looking for sex including three he replied to days after my birthday after two months of being together. It doesn't end there but it's the most important part. I've grown, matured, and come out a better person, but the best lesson I learned from the whole thing was to use me gut. Communication is everything. If something doesn't feel right, ask. It's always worse not to.