How to go about texting someone who's ignoring you

  • linvect96

    Posts: 22

    Oct 18, 2012 3:38 AM GMT
    Ok, knowing full well all the reasons I shouldn't even bother to communicate w/this person because he's ignoring me, I have a really strong gut feeling that I have to fix a bad impression I made (that I was being too intense/serious)....how do I say something and how long should I wait?

    I was thinking of waiting a week, then texting something really clever....

    Have you ever ignored someone and if so has he gotten you to text him back? Or is the ONLY option to not respond and hope he will reach out, otherwise forget it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    Forget about it and move on. The other person already has.

    If you still want a response, find out where he lives and burn his house down Revenge style.icon_twisted.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Oct 18, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    Never reach out to anyone who doesn't want you in their life. This is the no. 1 mistake most people, straight or gay, make in relationships. If he wants to be gone, let him be gone. Why would you work so hard to fix a 'bad impression'?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 11:02 AM GMT
    PR_GMR saidWhy would you work so hard to fix a 'bad impression'?


    Control and the fear of losing it. . .

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Oct 18, 2012 12:36 PM GMT
    anything you say will just make you seem desperate. i mean, you i don't even know you and from this post you seem clingy and desperate
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    linvect96 saidOk, knowing full well all the reasons I shouldn't even bother to communicate w/this person because he's ignoring me, I have a really strong gut feeling that I have to fix a bad impression I made (that I was being too intense/serious)....how do I say something and how long should I wait?

    I was thinking of waiting a week, then texting something really clever....

    Have you ever ignored someone and if so has he gotten you to text him back? Or is the ONLY option to not respond and hope he will reach out, otherwise forget it?


    lol, well I guess I'll earn everyone's scorn in here. icon_wink.gif I'm quite the opposite and trust my gut, am vulnerable (which can be a great strength), and reach out to gain closure, if that's what's happening.

    If I felt I left a bad impression, I'd simply message him with something like,

    " I think I gave you a bad impression, as you've been so quiet. I feel I came across as pretty intense/serious. Is that what's happened?"

    ....and sign off with something funny and warm. This way you have directly and kindly asked for a reply, and if it doesn't come in a few days, then you have specific closure rather than being left to come to conclusions on your own.

    The silent treatment is awful, but it's better to find out if that's what's going on rather than assuming anything.

    OK guys, go ahead, slap me. *offers chin*

    warmly,

    -Doug
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 18, 2012 1:18 PM GMT
    Well it can be a challenge. I think I'd evaluate whether it makes sense to continue any kind of communication with this person. If you feel it is worth the investment of your time and effort, then talk to him directly.. always be candid and straightforward.

    If he lives a distance away, try to reach him by phone, but don't leave a message. No texting. Always be direct.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWell it can be a challenge. I think I'd evaluate whether it makes sense to continue any kind of communication with this person. If you feel it is worth the investment of your time and effort, then talk to him directly.. always be candid and straightforward.

    If he lives a distance away, try to reach him by phone, but don't leave a message. No texting. Always be direct.


    I have a feeling that the OP's situation is less about mending a broken friendship (where a face-to-face interaction is possible) and more along the lines of getting a guy on Grindr to not think he is creeping on him.

    Though it is really unclear what the situation is. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:35 PM GMT
    I have learned that these people aren't worth my time.

    I have tried reaching back out to people in the past and was met with rude response. So, now I honestly think it's their loss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    linvect96 saidOk, knowing full well all the reasons I shouldn't even bother to communicate w/this person because he's ignoring me, I have a really strong gut feeling that I have to fix a bad impression I made (that I was being too intense/serious)....how do I say something and how long should I wait?

    I was thinking of waiting a week, then texting something really clever....

    Have you ever ignored someone and if so has he gotten you to text him back? Or is the ONLY option to not respond and hope he will reach out, otherwise forget it?


    lol, well I guess I'll earn everyone's scorn in here. icon_wink.gif I'm quite the opposite and trust my gut, am vulnerable (which can be a great strength), and reach out to gain closure, if that's what's happening.

    If I felt I left a bad impression, I'd simply message him with something like,

    " I think I gave you a bad impression, as you've been so quiet. I feel I came across as pretty intense/serious. Is that what's happened?"

    ....and sign off with something funny and warm. This way you have directly and kindly asked for a reply, and if it doesn't come in a few days, then you have specific closure rather than being left to come to conclusions on your own.

    The silent treatment is awful, but it's better to find out if that's what's going on rather than assuming anything.

    OK guys, go ahead, slap me. *offers chin*

    warmly,

    -Doug


    Hey .. sweet, kind and warm words.. for a less impersonal time.. I'd probably do the same, but I doubt it would get me anywhere .. unless it was with someone with a similar outlook on life as us.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:06 PM GMT
    you know.....when someone presses your buttons emotionally, it can be hard to remember that we live in complicated worlds.

    the reasons he's not responding may have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH YOU. and your intense desire to get an explanation may make it impossible for him to give you one that is actually appropriate....

    suppose you meet someone and maybe things are plausible

    then the next day

    something life altering happens, but nothing you want to discuss. an accident. a death.

    and you don't know this guy well enough to really go for that level of intimacy. so you shut down.

    give up control and if live re-delivers him to you, then that's how it was intended. trying to wrestle for control is futile and only ensures you misery
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:09 PM GMT
    You sound crazy and the other person already knows. Time to alienate someone else.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    sc69 said
    meninlove said
    linvect96 saidOk, knowing full well all the reasons I shouldn't even bother to communicate w/this person because he's ignoring me, I have a really strong gut feeling that I have to fix a bad impression I made (that I was being too intense/serious)....how do I say something and how long should I wait?

    I was thinking of waiting a week, then texting something really clever....

    Have you ever ignored someone and if so has he gotten you to text him back? Or is the ONLY option to not respond and hope he will reach out, otherwise forget it?


    lol, well I guess I'll earn everyone's scorn in here. icon_wink.gif I'm quite the opposite and trust my gut, am vulnerable (which can be a great strength), and reach out to gain closure, if that's what's happening.

    If I felt I left a bad impression, I'd simply message him with something like,

    " I think I gave you a bad impression, as you've been so quiet. I feel I came across as pretty intense/serious. Is that what's happened?"

    ....and sign off with something funny and warm. This way you have directly and kindly asked for a reply, and if it doesn't come in a few days, then you have specific closure rather than being left to come to conclusions on your own.

    The silent treatment is awful, but it's better to find out if that's what's going on rather than assuming anything.

    OK guys, go ahead, slap me. *offers chin*

    warmly,

    -Doug


    Hey .. sweet, kind and warm words.. for a less impersonal time.. I'd probably do the same, but I doubt it would get me anywhere .. unless it was with someone with a similar outlook on life as us.


    Well, it's not so much a matter of getting anywhere other than gaining closure, and tossing the ball into his court. With no reply comes the satisfaction that you gave it your best shot, kindly, and you know without guessing that the person isn't interested and the situation no longer worth the energy of waiting or hoping. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Forget about him. Otherwise you'll look like a stalker and that's not good.

    tumblr_ls95ejCXZp1qhatbno1_500.gif

    Plenty of other guys.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    I would make my apologies and let him make the next move or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    I wouldn't bother with someone who ignores you.
  • ac416

    Posts: 273

    Oct 18, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    Now it may sound like a good idea, or bad idea, but by next week you won't even care as much so at least wait that amount of time before you chose to react .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    Basically if you text them a lot they'll be expecting, what you do is just abruptly stop don't say "I'm done texting u won't reply" cos then they know they got you,

    just stop and text their best friend and anyone else they'll come running icon_razz.gif always works for me.. ^^
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Oct 18, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    Go to the butcher and ask for a cow's heart. Put it in a box and mail it to him with a note telling him that you love him.
  • BoyKrazy

    Posts: 26

    Oct 18, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    soulman1969 saidForget about it and move on. The other person already has.

    If you still want a response, find out where he lives and burn his house down Revenge style.icon_twisted.gif
    Ha! LOL!
  • BoyKrazy

    Posts: 26

    Oct 18, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    calibro saidanything you say will just make you seem desperate. i mean, you i don't even know you and from this post you seem clingy and desperate
    I think you can smell desperation a mile away. It is not attractive at all. I'll admit, Iv'e done it, and with rare success! Fake it til you make it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    You don't? icon_neutral.gif Simple as that lol.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 18, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    bosjock90 saidEasy. Just don't.

    Don't over-try for someone that isn't putting an ounce of effort into reciprocating.


    best answer-hopefully you listen to this sound adviceicon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 5:38 PM GMT
    It would be a colossal waste of time to try what you're
    thinking. If anything, it will set you back further in
    his eyes.

    You hit a dud. Move on and find a better guy for you. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 18, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    calibro saidanything you say will just make you seem desperate. i mean, you i don't even know you and from this post you seem clingy and desperate


    this.

    you blew it. let it go.