Have u ever thought of suicide because u don't like the way u look?

  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 19, 2012 7:38 PM GMT
    (Playing devil's advocate): Tho an extremely shallow notion, do u think perfectionists with body dysmorphia have contemplated suicide because they can't stand seeing themselves & wat they consider flaws & imperfections? That they can't see beyond their image, that their so-called flaws & idiosyncrasies is wat makes them perfect?

    I have a gay friend of Chinese decent who has very low self-esteem. He's into good-looking white guys & always says that he wished he were a good-looking white guy so it'd be easier to attract what he likes cause he thinks similars attract. He doesn't like his Chinese features & he thinks it's a hindrance & gets in the way of attracting what he likes. He says he envies my Filipino features & how easily I attract good-looking white guys. He's told me he's thought of suicide because he thinks he's ugly & he'll never be happy. I tell him he shud love himself & accept all that he is. My friend has grave issues.

    So to those who post "not into Asians" or "Asians are ugly," I wud be more sensitive in how u word ur hurtful prerequisites & preferences/racial profiling.
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    Oct 19, 2012 7:44 PM GMT
    No. I like the way that I look and death wouldn't solve anything imo
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 19, 2012 7:46 PM GMT
    "do u think perfectionists with body dysmorphia have contemplated suicide?"


    As your other threads have shown us, there are guys on RJ who would rather die than lose their beauty.
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    Oct 19, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    Yes. I'm a true perfectionist, but today that's not my dilemma.

    The most devastating impact of the perfectionist is in their relationships. If a relationship doesn't fit into a perfect little box, it is disposed of like a piece of trash.

    I find humor in it all today.
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    Oct 19, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    NO.

    I have some pretty serious self-esteem issues, but would rather go on expiriencing life by myself, than to end it entirely.

    You dont have to be attractive, to go out into the world, travel, see beautfiul places, expirience nature, and get to know who you are.

    The thought that anyone would kill themselves over the way they look, somthing that they have no control over, saddens me.

    I also think that, if someone who, percievably, lost their beauty would committ suicide, they are only thinking about the surface of things.

    We concentrate too much on outer beauty and attractiveness, and miss the whole point of really getting to know someone.

  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 19, 2012 8:08 PM GMT
    One of my favorite movie monologues is from Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams character tells Matt Damon's Will that, "It's the flaws that make u perfect, don't u get it?!" icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 19, 2012 8:12 PM GMT
    No. I don't like the way I look, but I don't dislike it either. I would never do something so extreme just because of my looks, or lack there of.
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    Oct 19, 2012 8:35 PM GMT
    OP, bro, the fuq is with all these inane questions?

    Write a diary and seek counselling.

    Good day.
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    Oct 19, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    spgem saidOne of my favorite movie monologues is from Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams character tells Matt Damon's Will that, "It's the flaws that make u perfect, don't u get it?!" icon_smile.gif


    YES! icon_biggrin.gif

    I love that move!
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 19, 2012 9:04 PM GMT
    To _SAGE_: Inane is subjective. Ur allowed to speak ur mind as anyone else. No one's in any position to censor. A forum's a forum. Those who can relate relate. But don't think ur above others & judge what's significant & what's not.
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    Oct 19, 2012 10:23 PM GMT
    spgem saidTo _SAGE_: Inane is subjective. Ur allowed to speak ur mind as anyone else. No one's in any position to censor. A forum's a forum. Those who can relate relate. But don't think ur above others & judge what's significant & what's not.


    I will judge to my heart's content, as may we all.

    I may think I am above others at times, and not at others, but that is irrelevant to anybody else.

    Please keep your imperatives to yourself.

    I am not calling for your censoring, just your enlightenment.


    Be well.
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    Oct 19, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    I don't think being imperfect is a good reason to consider suicide. Dying doesn't really solve anything.
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    Oct 19, 2012 10:33 PM GMT
    When I was 16-17, I was going along that line. Then with age, I was quite fortunate my face became more masculine and I started going to the gym. That plus the whole self discovery of finding myself and not having to conform. Never really looked back. icon_biggrin.gif
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 19, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    To SAGE: Ur far from enlightened with ur last reply. If ur enlightened than why wud u judge? Ur an oxymoron. Please keep ur stones to urself. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 19, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    spgem saidTo SAGE: Ur far from enlightened with ur last reply.


    Don't take it the wrong way if I don't exactly rely upon your analysis or authority on tihs matter. icon_biggrin.gif
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 19, 2012 11:01 PM GMT
    To CAGE: I'm not claiming authority as u put it. I'll leave that & the forum policing to u.....
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    Oct 19, 2012 11:05 PM GMT
    Much obliged icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2012 11:46 PM GMT
    Have u ever thought of suicide because u don't like the way u look?

    Yes, attempted twice, following an accident that disfigured me. There's another thread discussing that scenario. Over years my appearance recovered a little.

    So when I came out late, I knew I wasn't a gay treasure - far from it. OK, what to do?

    Give up, go back into the closet, slit my wrists? No, my strategy was to maximize & exploit what I did have. Not much to work with, but yah know, you play the hand you're dealt. Is there another option, other than suicide, or crawling into a hole?

    So I looked at what the gay world wanted, and I tried to transform myself into that model. I developed a type that some guys liked, based on the few strengths I had. Not what every guy liked, I couldn't do that, but something that enough guys liked that I was getting dates.

    Any guy here can do that. You've got strengths, you've got attractions. Learn what they are and develop them. If you aren't a muscle hunk, don't try to compete in that arena. If you aren't a bear then steer clear of that scene. Work with what Nature gave you.

    Assess your strengths, exploit your strengths. And what you don't like about yourself another guy may. Never sell yourself short, and assume there's a guy out there who wants what you have.
  • KJayasuriya

    Posts: 1253

    Oct 19, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    I will be honest...

    Yes I have...

    A year ago, I was obese, had high blood pressure and was on the verge of developing type two diabetes (it runs in the family). My doctor told me to either lose weight or prepare to have your life cut short. And for some time I was reluctant and kept eating away without any form of exercise. My mind was exploding inside and suicide seemed like the only choice.

    After several hours of thinking, I decided to make a change. A change that I am grateful for. I went from 191 lbs (June 2011) to 142 lbs by May 12th (my birthday). I will never forget the day I reached my goal weight. Once I lost the weight, I was determined to keep it off and gain some lean muscle mass. With the help of my PE instructor and my head, I have done that as well. I currently weight 145 lbs and feeling stronger and healthier. icon_smile.gif

    Thanks for taking the time to read this!
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 20, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    Thx for sharing Art_Deco & KJayasuriya icon_smile.gif
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Oct 20, 2012 12:04 AM GMT
    Dormanayevsky saidNO.

    I have some pretty serious self-esteem issues, but would rather go on expiriencing life by myself, than to end it entirely.

    You dont have to be attractive, to go out into the world, travel, see beautfiul places, expirience nature, and get to know who you are.

    The thought that anyone would kill themselves over the way they look, somthing that they have no control over, saddens me.

    I also think that, if someone who, percievably, lost their beauty would committ suicide, they are only thinking about the surface of things.

    We concentrate too much on outer beauty and attractiveness, and miss the whole point of really getting to know someone.



    You're a very good-looking fellow! Don't beat yourself up too much.

    Good luck seeing beautiful places, etc. There are a lot of them out there!
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    tazzari said
    Dormanayevsky saidNO.

    I have some pretty serious self-esteem issues, but would rather go on expiriencing life by myself, than to end it entirely.

    You dont have to be attractive, to go out into the world, travel, see beautfiul places, expirience nature, and get to know who you are.

    The thought that anyone would kill themselves over the way they look, somthing that they have no control over, saddens me.

    I also think that, if someone who, percievably, lost their beauty would committ suicide, they are only thinking about the surface of things.

    We concentrate too much on outer beauty and attractiveness, and miss the whole point of really getting to know someone.



    You're a very good-looking fellow! Don't beat yourself up too much.

    Good luck seeing beautiful places, etc. There are a lot of them out there!


    Why thank you, I appreciate that very much! icon_biggrin.gif
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 20, 2012 1:37 AM GMT
    U only live once. So much yet to see in this world.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    "Have u ever thought of suicide because u don't like the way u look?"

    Many times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 3:38 AM GMT
    Fuck this is a downer thread