Should I really be getting kicked out my house for this?

  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Oct 20, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    I've decided to write a journal for 365 days. In this journal, I record my deepest thoughts and feelings, most of the time in the heat of the moment. Since I'm a very thorough recorder, it normally takes me an hour to write an entry so sometimes I write a little bit and put it under a book I'm reading on the table. Everybody in my house knows I write in this journal. They know it's mine and they know I've been writing in it for 222 days now. My mom very well knows I write in it. So in one of my journal entries I wrote (bc I was very mad at her that I hate her...I didn't mean it cuz obviously I was very upset). Well yesterday, I wrote in my journal but I left it on the table (not open and very much under my book I was reading) when I went to class. When I got back my mom was very upset. She said the cat knocked it down and she happen to read the one phrase I ever mentioned about her it happen to b negative. The journal very much closes by itself when I'm trying to write in it and I KNOW it would close if it fell on the ground and NO WAY could it stay open for her to read that phrase. I know exactly what entry she read and I wrote it all the way in the back. And in order for her to read it the journal would have to defy gravity and not close in on itself like it ALWAYS does. But now she's very upset and kicking me out. Am I in the wrong?!?!
  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Oct 20, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    The whole reason I said the thing about it closing on itself is bc I dnt believe her story about our cat knocking it over. I think she read it on purpose
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    WAIT- she kicked you out of your home for that?

    If so, leave. Make your own way in life; be determined.

    She is emotionally immature. Don't allow anybody to hold a sword over your head.
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:46 AM GMT
    Is your real name Kyle by any chance?

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 20, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    If you left that out in the open, on some level you wanted it read.
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    I'm going to disagree with the guys above. I agree with Timbales though - if you left it exposed then you shouldn't complain when someone reads it.
    She's your mother - probably the only person you're sure will always be there for you. But she's human too, she can be mad at you now just as you were mad at her before. Maybe she just told you to leave because she's upset.

    Reading your journal is wrong but who doesn't do wrong stuff every now and then? You writing something about her that you didn't mean is wrong too, isn't it? If you didn't mean what you wrote then just apologize and try talking to her.
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:54 AM GMT
    Gourry saidI'm going to disagree with the guys above.
    She's your mother - probably the only person you're sure will always be there for you. But she's human too, she can be mad at you now just as you were mad at her before. Maybe she just told you to leave because she's upset.

    Reading your journal is wrong but who doesn't do wrong stuff every now and then? You writing something about her that you didn't mean is wrong too, isn't it? If you didn't mean what you wrote then just apologize and try talking to her.
    Don't be such a pussy. Moms are not Gods. They can succumb to failure just like anyone else. His mom is obviously a bitch, which explains a lot of the not-so-great posts he's made on this site. He'll be better off without her.
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Gourry saidI'm going to disagree with the guys above.
    She's your mother - probably the only person you're sure will always be there for you. But she's human too, she can be mad at you now just as you were mad at her before. Maybe she just told you to leave because she's upset.

    Reading your journal is wrong but who doesn't do wrong stuff every now and then? You writing something about her that you didn't mean is wrong too, isn't it? If you didn't mean what you wrote then just apologize and try talking to her.
    Don't be such a pussy. Moms are not Gods. They can succumb to failure just like anyone else. His mom is obviously a bitch, which explains a lot of the not-so-great posts he's made on this site. He'll be better off without her.

    Judging his mother's attitude through his posts isn't really a good idea. His posts are written by him - just like his journal. If he wrote something he didn't mean on that journal he could have posted stuff he doesn't really agree with on RJ.
    He's just 19, I'm 22. It's not like any of us is mature enough to be "always right".
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    Oct 20, 2012 1:03 AM GMT
    Gourry said
    paulflexes said
    Gourry saidI'm going to disagree with the guys above.
    She's your mother - probably the only person you're sure will always be there for you. But she's human too, she can be mad at you now just as you were mad at her before. Maybe she just told you to leave because she's upset.

    Reading your journal is wrong but who doesn't do wrong stuff every now and then? You writing something about her that you didn't mean is wrong too, isn't it? If you didn't mean what you wrote then just apologize and try talking to her.
    Don't be such a pussy. Moms are not Gods. They can succumb to failure just like anyone else. His mom is obviously a bitch, which explains a lot of the not-so-great posts he's made on this site. He'll be better off without her.

    Judging his mother's attitude through his posts isn't really a good idea. His posts are written by him - just like his journal. If he wrote something he didn't mean on that journal he could have posted stuff he doesn't really agree with on RJ.
    He's just 19, I'm 22. It's not like any of us is mature enough to be "always right".
    Nobody is ever "always right."

    But if his mom is kicking him out of the house for something he wrote in a journal that she wasn't supposed to read in the first place, then yes, his mom is a total bitch. And that IS right.
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    Oct 20, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    Even if she overstepped a boundry, your mom has a legitimate issue of reconciling how to live with a person who she now knows is capable of thinking very badly of her. And you now have an issue of reconciling your mother's violation of your private thoughts.

    You have both broken a trust with each other. Your mother trusted you to love her unconditionally. You trusted her to respect your inner most sanctum.

    How do you repair and rebuild that trust?

    Everyone Loves Raymond season 5 episode 14 Raymond's Journal

    "When Marie blurts out an embarrassing incident from Ray's past, he can't figure out how she could have possibly known that information. That is, until he deduces that she must have read—and broken the secret code he used when writing—his journal. And in the process, his mother has learned about his most personal, and perverted, thoughts."

    It seems Raymond wrote that he hates his mother when he was a young teen. Well, imagine Marie's despair. Commercial break.
    Epilogue: In front of Marie, Raymond crosses out the dastardly entry of his youth and replaces it with something more mature and to Marie's liking about how he loves his mother very much and doesn't hate her at all.

    Marie always wins these things. It's in the script. Now go apologize to your mother.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    She was wrong to read it. However, if I don't want something known or read, I do not write it down.

    My practice is to never put something in writing (or on an internet forum) that I would not want people to read.
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    Oct 20, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    theantijock saidEven if she overstepped a boundry, your mom has a legitimate issue of reconciling how to live with a person who she now knows is capable of thinking very badly of her. And you now have an issue of reconciling your mother's violation of your private thoughts.

    You have both broken a trust with each other. Your mother trusted you to love her unconditionally. You trusted her to respect your inner most sanctum.

    How do you repair and rebuild that trust?

    Everyone Loves Raymond season 5 episode 14 Raymond's Journal

    "When Marie blurts out an embarrassing incident from Ray's past, he can't figure out how she could have possibly known that information. That is, until he deduces that she must have read—and broken the secret code he used when writing—his journal. And in the process, his mother has learned about his most personal, and perverted, thoughts."

    It seems Raymond wrote that he hates his mother when he was a young teen. Well, imagine Marie's despair. Commercial break.
    Epilogue: In front of Marie, Raymond crosses out the dastardly entry of his youth and replaces it with something more mature and to Marie's liking about how he loves his mother very much and doesn't hate her at all.

    Marie always wins these things. It's in the script. Now go apologize to your mother.


    Exactly what I thought about when I read the OP's post.
    Either swallow your pride and apologize or move out like she asks.
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    Oct 20, 2012 4:23 AM GMT
    Give her some time to sort through some anger, and make sure to give her some space as well. When she seems calm enough, just apologize for offending her, and that it was written really long time ago when you were just feeling upset towards her at that time. If she seems like she's in a reasonable state, then just ask her nicely not to disrespect your privacy by going so far as reading your journal again. With that said, it's probably going to be a good idea for you to hide it in a more discreet spot next time.

    As you didn't mean the things you wrote about her in the journal, I'm sure she didn't really mean to have you withdrawn from the house.
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    Oct 20, 2012 4:26 AM GMT
    Damn dude - what did you write about her? icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 20, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    I've always believed that those who keep written records of their thoughts deep down want their writings to be discovered; the journal is a passive way of negotiating conflicts and resentments.

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    Oct 20, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    Before you know it, 30 years will go by and she'll be all wanting you to take care of her, 'cause there won't be any more medicaid and anyway, what medicaid will pay for is all "one flies over the cuckoo's nest" nightmare crap.

    Goes around, comes around.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 20, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    You should have never trusted that no one would read your journal in the first place. The temptation is too great for people to look inside your mind. Next time you want to keep a journal, developer your own code, Or keep it on your computer in a password protected file ... Your mother shouldn't have been snooping in your journal, but it is her house and you are living under her roof, so she has the right to make sure you are not planing the next mass killing or bombing. So now you are going to have to kiss her ass and tell her you are sorry, but we all have feeling and you were just mad that day that you wrote that, and you will still move out if she wants. Lesson learned. How would you feel if you saw the same thing about you in a journal she was keeping?
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    Oct 20, 2012 8:05 AM GMT
    you should have came out to her at that moment. i mean...
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    Oct 20, 2012 8:49 AM GMT
    Yer kinda stupid so I'd kick ya out too. I ain't gotta read much of yer drama threads. Ya just sound desperate fer attention.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Oct 20, 2012 9:34 AM GMT
    The reality is that past the age of 18, you live in your parents' house by their good grace. You should act like you want to stay there, and appreciate what they do for you.

    ... I would imagine that includes not writing hate-entries in your journal about your moms and pops.

    You kinda had this one coming. Beg for forgiveness, youll probably get it. Acknolwedge youre grateful, and don't act like an entitled little twerp.
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    Oct 20, 2012 9:41 AM GMT
    Good on you for starting a journal. I've been thinking of making one myself but have yet to do it. As stated before, journals are very personal; she shouldn't have read it at all. You said that it was accidentally knocked over and she just so happened to see it. It's really unlikely she managed to see only one sentence and it was the "I hate her," one. So I think she intentionally read it. You do say hurtful things in the heat of the moment but studies have shown that people say what they really mean when their emotionally disturbed. So writing when angry isn't necessarily a bad thing. I would recommend writing at the same time everyday sometime before you go to bed. That way you have time to mold over the day's events in your mind before you write anything you don't mean.
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    Oct 20, 2012 9:51 AM GMT
    Your moms a little bitch if shes kicking you out.
    Mothers should love their children unconditionally and not make them suffer if they have the power to prevent it. A mature person would get over it .
    Your mom sucks cuz my mom wouldnt do that.
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    Oct 20, 2012 10:14 AM GMT
    If you didn't mean what you wrote I hope this was one of the first things you told her. Letting her believe that you hate her when you don't is cruel.
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    Oct 20, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    It's incredulous to me that people here are blaming the OP for this.

    A diary/journal is just an outpouring of a person's thoughts/feelings at a very particular moment in time.

    Those thoughts aren't necessarily what the writer hold to being his lasting, immutable truth, but an expression of a fleeting snap-shot emotion a lot of the time. If thoughts alone are subject to being crimes, we'd all be up shit's creek.

    It was not meant to be read by anybody else- it is one of the most private things a person can own, next step down from their immediate cerebral thoughts!

    If his mum snooped through his personal stuff, found out stuff she didn't like and got upset/offended: fine. Have a discussion with your son and explain how you feel, gather how the son really feels, what is causing this resentment, reach a resolution.

    It is an immature non-adult who flies of the handle and threatens/throws their kid out of the house for a diary log, not a national newspaper article, mind you, but a private f*ing diary.

    To all those in this thread who are blaming the OP: hold your arm straight out, bring it back to you with as much force as you can muster and slap yourselves. The shock will do you good.




    That is all.
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:15 PM GMT
    Kudos on keeping a journal. It is a healthy habit, and you can look back on it and be amazed at how valuable a reflection vehicle the journal can be.

    It's a private journal. Nobody should have read it without your expressed permission.

    I keep a journal. I keep it in an electronic document which is encrypted. NOBODY can read my journal. Period.

    Well, unless the NSA or CIA get's a hold of it. I'm sure they can crack the encryption scheme.