My ex-bf becomes tetraplegic and what should I do?

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    Oct 20, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    I and a man had been in a relationship for a month, to be honest, I am not sure it was being in love or not. But I think a lot of him and it hurts me so much after we split up. I tried to find a way to be back but he denied. He blocked my phone number, my MSN id and did not go back home when knowing my presence there.

    After some months, I tried to call him but he changed number and I just sent an email to wish him a happy birthday because I just felt to do it. But no reply after some months. I decided to end up the story there and I did not checked that email more, until some days ago. To be honest, I still cannot get him off my mind.

    He replied me more than 3 months after my letter, and another email a week ago for confirmation as I had not replied. But I got shocked when he said he wrote the letter by his sister's fingers. He is tetraplegic. I called him on the following day and know that he got accident 1 month after splitting up with me. he had been in hospital for 6.5 months. I felt terrible and cried a lot. I cannot believe it happened. It's real, not just a nightmare.

    We live far apart, in two different cities. I will visit him, but I don't know what I should do after that. And when I meet him, what if I cannot control my feeling? I cannot cry out because I should be the one to cheer him up.
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    Oct 20, 2012 12:28 AM GMT
    Stalker...
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    Oct 20, 2012 6:43 AM GMT
    figo_it saidI and a man...


    A man and I...

    Ugh.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Oct 20, 2012 7:56 AM GMT
    someone is bound to yell "troll: soo, but for now I will presume this is real.

    You don't cheer someone up in this situation. It is possible that you could provide some supportjust by showing up. You can be a sounding board. You can communicate and try to make sure the person does not fell completely alone. You could even go so far as to talk with a counselor yourself to see what is the best way to handle it all. You could help if a volunteer is needed for therapy. Good luck.
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    Oct 20, 2012 10:29 AM GMT

    FAKE. SSDD.
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Oct 20, 2012 10:34 AM GMT
    Assuming this is real, the guy it tetraplegic and your concern seems to be only about your feelings.Just stay the hell away from him. He has enough problems.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Oct 20, 2012 10:34 AM GMT
    That's the oldest trick in the book, to tell someone that you've had an accident and become tetraplegic when you don't want that person to contact you any more. I've used it myself hundreds of times. It's code for "get off my back and don't call me any more, asshole."
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    Oct 21, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    I am sorry, but I am not here for fake things, I don't have time for a fantasy. It's real. In fact, I stopped contacting him and we were living our own life. So no need to tell something like "the oldest trick in the book" or sth like that.

    I don't think that he still loves me, but I still care for him, though i don't love him anymore. Really I cannot pretend not to know anything. All the old memories are being recalled. I just want to keep busy to forget it.

    I really appreciate those ones with your serious suggestions. Many thanks.
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    Oct 23, 2012 1:32 AM GMT
    being tetraplegic is something dramatic and unbelievable?

    I live in Italy, so maybe I cannot understand American. People here say that American are realistic. And this may explain why you guys have to assume or cannot believe the story?
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    Oct 23, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    figo_it saidI am sorry, but I am not here for fake things, I don't have time for a fantasy.
    ...says the guy with one stolen pic and a profile more vague than Vogue ever thought of being.
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    Oct 23, 2012 12:59 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    figo_it saidI am sorry, but I am not here for fake things, I don't have time for a fantasy.
    ...says the guy with one stolen pic and a profile more vague than Vogue ever thought of being.


    mama mia, I am TOOOOO tired of someone like you!!!!
    Stolen pic????
    It seems that the world is very bad now, at least through your eyes.

    Ok ok, enough suffer for me.
    I am here for seeking advice, not for some bullshit.

    Stop here, I will visit my friend this weekend, and ok, let it be, what will be will be.

    Realjock may be for another stuffs.
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    Oct 23, 2012 1:10 PM GMT
    short answer: you dated for a month, not years of your life. that's not even long enough to get over the infatuation. and apparently, it didn't work out. that's unfortunate, but you owe him nothing.

    anything you want to give is gravy.

    cleopatra said cripples make the best lovers
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    Oct 23, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    Stop making it about you. It's self-centered.
  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

    Posts: 154

    Oct 26, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    Am I retarded for thinking that tetraplegic meant that his boyfriend played so much Tetris that it consumed his life?