Coming out to my friends.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    Hey guys, ive been thinking about it for a very long time now, and I think im going to come out to my best friends soon. The pressure I feel is way to much and I want real people in my life. They know im a virgin and dont mind. Lately I feel like they have been talking about gays in a positive way, but theres still those times theyre offensive. My family knows im gay so I got that support. I guess I just need some advice on how to approach my buddies about coming out? Sorry for the long explanation. Please help.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    there is no map on how to disclose personal things in your life and share them with others. How you do it is coming from inside you, and not maybe the way someone else would do it. For some it takes great inner strength, for others, it's not that big of a deal. The most important thing is to make sure you are doing it for you and no one else. Maybe not much help, but then, its not an easy one to answer.

    good luck.
    Keith
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Oct 21, 2012 7:23 PM GMT
    I feel no need to disclose my sexuality. "Coming out" for me is a very fluid process. I go about my daily life as anyone else would. People are free to make their own observations about how I live my life. I have enough faith in others that they will be able to put 2 and 2 together and realize that I am in fact homosexual. If they do indeed ask, then I respond simply with a yes and then continue on with life, never slowing down.

    It's so much easier to live life without the burden or sense of duty to "come out".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 21, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI feel no need to disclose my sexuality. "Coming out" for me is a very fluid process. I go about my daily life as anyone else would. People are free to make their own observations about how I live my life. I have enough faith in others that they will be able to put 2 and 2 together and realize that I am in fact homosexual. If they do indeed ask, then I respond simply with a yes and then continue on with life, never slowing down.

    It's so much easier to live life without the burden or sense of duty to "come out".



    Well put.....very well put.

    Keith
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Oct 21, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    I mostly agree with BizMan, but with friends you've had for a long time, sometimes they want to hear it from you directly, but are too nervous to ask. Humor and lightness has been the best bet for me.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Oct 22, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    well it's much safe to come out on your friend than in them
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    I found as long as I treated it like a non issue most other people do too. You seem understandabley nervous after thinking about it for so long. Why not just drop some not so subtle hints or use humor like kev said. Whatever you do, relax I'm sure the situations you played out in your head are far worse than any reactions you might geticon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    Vpmn19 saidHey guys, ive been thinking about it for a very long time now, and I think im going to come out to my best friends soon. The pressure I feel is way to much and I want real people in my life. They know im a virgin and dont mind. Lately I feel like they have been talking about gays in a positive way, but theres still those times theyre offensive. My family knows im gay so I got that support. I guess I just need some advice on how to approach my buddies about coming out? Sorry for the long explanation. Please help.


    I recently came out bi to my best friend, he was like totally homophobe tbh but after I told him about me being this way he was totally fine with it like for real, I was sure it be awkward, but he ask me lots questions we talk about bfs snd everything,

    the thing is the more you think about it the worse you will imagine it vow you imagine it 100 different ways, front and backwards, the thing you need to be sure of is your friend really a good mate

    After tell my best friend I told another very close friend and her first words were "when can I meet him?" And I was dating girls so they didn't even know, they both said if it makes me happy then they are happy,

    so i think you need to just say and not over think, few pints, relax the nerves, joke around a bit and I think if he really your best mate he be cool with it

    I didn't have support from my fam, they are disowning me and shunning so I'm happy to hear you have that support xD

    hope all goes well
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    i came out to two frens,1 yesterday(my cuz) n 1 today.they are both supportive .im happy that i dont have to carry this load by myself......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    simple_me saidi came out to two frens,1 yesterday(my cuz) n 1 today.they are both supportive .im happy that i dont have to carry this load by myself......


    that's actually really great to read ^^ well done (:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 8:35 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI feel no need to disclose my sexuality. "Coming out" for me is a very fluid process. I go about my daily life as anyone else would. People are free to make their own observations about how I live my life. I have enough faith in others that they will be able to put 2 and 2 together and realize that I am in fact homosexual. If they do indeed ask, then I respond simply with a yes and then continue on with life, never slowing down.

    It's so much easier to live life without the burden or sense of duty to "come out".


    THIS.

    some people know, others do not, but i typically don't feel the need to come out. i am a very private person - and unless it's awkward or i want you in some way, it's simply not relevant. i guess i'm nervous that some of my straight friends might look at me differently but honestly, if they ever asked, i'd be truthful. it's just not relevant right now - ask me again if and when i start dating someone seriously...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 9:52 AM GMT
    Vpmn19 saidHey guys, ive been thinking about it for a very long time now, and I think im going to come out to my best friends soon. The pressure I feel is way to much and I want real people in my life. They know im a virgin and dont mind. Lately I feel like they have been talking about gays in a positive way, but theres still those times theyre offensive. My family knows im gay so I got that support. I guess I just need some advice on how to approach my buddies about coming out? Sorry for the long explanation. Please help.


    To your friends: Oh, just in case you didn't know, I dig guys.

    When folks get honest, relationships and lives get better.

    No need to broadcast it, but, it sure makes life easier, and more fun, if your friends know. They're your FRIENDS, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    The first few friends are the hardest, then you get the knack of it. I was surprised how supportive friends were - even the ones you might not expect it from. And you know what, if they're not supportive, then they weren't real friends in the first place and better not to be wasting any more time on them. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Go for it, you'll feel so much better after it's done! And you'll have friends around you who matter, and who help you stay strong! Hang in there buddy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    HELL YEAH MAN!! Just be chill with it. it's only as big of a deal as you make it. (I say that in retrospective lol) I had never been more nervous then when I told my best friend. Just own who you are and I bet you they will embrace you, after all they're not friends with you cause of your sexuality. Give us the update!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 5:46 PM GMT
    The only real friends you have are the ones you come out to and are unfazed by it. Why would you wanna keep a superficial friendship anyways? If they dont like you then they simply arent true friends!
    You can always make new friends if you have to.
    But if you dont feel ready to do it then just dont do it.
    There is a difference between Having companions & Friends, Companions are people you go with to School to work Etc... I Have Alot of Companions, sometimes we hang out & we talk & we eat something but we are nothing more than buddies & after hanging out we go on living out our lives.
    Then there are Friends, people who you can share intimate information with without limit, They know alot about you & you can rely on them & tell them all your problems, & they even will tell you theirs & their secrets.
    No one in this word has "alot" of "Friends" If I considered my companions my Friends then I would have Like 200 Friends, like the fakeness of facebook where people have over 1000 friends on their friends list.
    I have only 4 real friends who I can tell everything too who will listen & have my back & act really stupid with .
    Usually when you tell someone intimate information like You being gay, They will become more intimate friends. Sharing such an intimate thing is such a trust builder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 22, 2012 6:25 PM GMT
    its pretty fun messn with people when they ask about me. 1st they'll be like "are you?" and I say yes, and when ask "really?" me: Naah im fuckn with ya....yyeaa
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    Vpmn19 saidI guess I just need some advice on how to approach my buddies about coming out? Sorry for the long explanation. Please help.


    It's great that coming out to your family went so well - they sound awesome! Having read your profile and a few of your forum posts - briefs rock! - I can't imagine that you have anything to be afraid of now that you're ready to come out to your best friends. You seem to have the sensibilities of someone who is much older than 20, so my hunch is that these best friends of yours already look up to you with admiration (and not just because you're tall and super cute and have a tiny waist clearly worthy of showing off).

    If your best friends are all local and all friends with each other, I would pair up the friend you think would be the most cool about it with the friend you think would be the least cool about it and tell them together. Don't give them the impression you're about to tell them a deep dark secret or that it's something you need to be apologetic about or forgiven for. Instead, spin it like you've got something exciting and wonderful to tell them...like you're doing them a favor so they don't end up feeling shame and embarrassment by making gay jokes...that you think it's something *they're* ready to hear. I love a good caper!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 26, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    WorthTheEffort said
    simple_me saidi came out to two frens,1 yesterday(my cuz) n 1 today.they are both supportive .im happy that i dont have to carry this load by myself......


    that's actually really great to read ^^ well done (:




    thanks icon_smile.gif all i hav to do now is tell mum n dad.......lol ama wai til i move out to tell emm ...........lol