Advice for someone coming out.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2007 8:46 AM GMT
    Hey guys... i need some help.

    My friend has apprently been outed to his parents. It gets complicated since he was confronted with this years ago. He told his parents at that time that he was straight. And now its back again. I really dont kow what adivce to give him since well... i just got tired.

    I just got sick like physically, mentally, everything you name it... from having to live two different lives. I just let it out one day to my parents when i had hit my breaking point and ever since then its been like a release. My dad doesnt care he just doesnt want to see it which i can understand and my mom is still bah in denial and thats okay but at least i lead my own life now. Im not quite sure what to tell him to give him comfort since it was different from me. I also should say that this is the guy I have feelings for and Ive been very understanding about his closet state so I guess I just want to be there to comfort him and i guess just help him through this. I didnt have any gay friends to help me out when I came out so I guess what can you suggest that would help me help him?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Aug 21, 2007 10:27 AM GMT
    Just be there for him in anyway you can
    Call him and see how things are going and make sure that he's not hurt in anyway or thrown out of his house
    ....if anything bad like this happens ck into where your local GLC center is to ask for advice
    but for now make sure that he knows that you will be there when he needs you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2007 3:22 PM GMT
    I agree with GQJock. Just be there for him.

    Your friend should come out when he's ready. But if I were your friend, I'd come out now. You say this is the second time this issue has come up with his parents. I would consider the resurfacing of this issue an opportunity to be upfront and honest with his parents and to finally let go of this negative part of his life.

    It won't be easy, but that's when you and your support come in. He can tell them face to face or he can write it in a letter to them. Sometimes when people have a difficult time with confrontation, it's easier to write it out. That way the person is able to convey their message clearly. and the reader(s) has time to process what they read privately.

    Anyway, whatever he decides to do, let him know that you're there for him.

    Good luck and keep us posted. - Jorel
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    Aug 21, 2007 3:38 PM GMT
    Be sure to lend him your copy of "The Gay Agenda" or he'll be truly miserable (sorry, couldn't help it). He's lucky to have you as a friend.
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    Aug 22, 2007 3:51 AM GMT
    I agree with the other posters here. The best thing you can do is let him know you are there for him. There is nothing you can say that will really comfort him, but knowing he has you will be a greater comfort anyway. Good luck to you.
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    Aug 22, 2007 4:16 AM GMT

    Tell your friend to be honest.

    Tell him you will be there to help and support him no matter what.

    Best of Luck

    R
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    Aug 22, 2007 2:20 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for the advice and support. I'll keep you informed as to what happen. I tried calling him yesterday and got no answer but hopefully I'll hear from him today.
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    Sep 02, 2007 8:24 PM GMT
    Well guys you asked to keep you posted so I am. Quick update. He recently came to see me and we hung out had lunch and came back to my house to chill for a while. He told me that he and his mom were avoiding the subject for a while but the ended up having the conversation and she just said she was ready to of course "fix" the problem and send him to one of thoes places but he told her its not happening and its just who he is so deal with it. which surprised me since I know he's not that way at all with his parents but I noticed something with him. He always has been a confident guy but this last time I saw him he seemed more comfortable in his own skin. We evern talked about us and I guess just being an ear for him was the best thing I could do. I just want to thank you you all for the advice and good thoughts/prayers. I'm pretty sure its going to get easier from here on out.