In need of some advice :[

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2012 12:09 AM GMT
    Okay so I am faced with a really tough situation and i really could use some advice.

    About a month or so ago, I decided to make a change in my life and finally try something out with a guy. It was a hookup, very meaningless, and we went all the way (huge regret). I really didn't have any feelings for this guy, so i decided to move on.

    This brings me to the issue. I have been talking with another guy and I actually have a ton of feelings for him. When i get with him I am excited and want to have sex. I get hard even thinking about him on occasion, but when we go to have sex, i can't do it. The second I go to put a condom on i get soft. He thinks I am just messing with him because I was with another guy, but I'm far from playing any games. I really have no idea what to do, and its turning into a huge problem.

    Words of wisdom =/?
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    Oct 22, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    Don't freak out. At your age, it's usually stress that makes you unable to perform. If you are "discreet," you may be uncomfortable with the whole idea of investing emotion into a guy, which would make the sex harder to perform.

    There was a thread a few days back. A guy had your same problem and was asking for advice. You should go find that thread and read up, it had some really good tips.

    I think the most useful suggestion was simply not to go anal in the beginning. Once you've enjoyed each other without the need for a condom, then things are going to be much easier for you.
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    Oct 22, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    Thanks a lot, I'll check out the thread.

    I really appreciate the response, very helpful.
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    Oct 22, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    it happens sometimes, dont worry about it.
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    Oct 22, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidPerformance anxiety? Totally common. The good thing is that it probably wouldn't be happening to you EXCEPT that this guy is important to you. So I agree with themachine: go slow. Sex isn't just anal. Become more comfortable with each other....watching each other jack off, handies, bjs, lots of frottage, and let your relationship develop until you're ready to add anal to the repertoire. If he's worth it, he'll be willing to wait.


    I'm just getting a lot of grief from him because I was with another guy. I have no solid explanation so it really stress's me out... Probably causing the anxiety icon_sad.gif
  • 1blind_dog

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    Oct 22, 2012 9:22 AM GMT
    themachine makes a great point. In my first relationship we had oral sex every single night for two weeks before we ever tried anal. You have to explore. Use all the senses. Feel, pinch, grab, smell, kiss, LICK. The tongue is a very powerful tool! Just as powerful as your dick and a lot more versatile. I can tell you from experience that when a bf tells you, and I quote, "Without actually having intercourse, that was amazing." it's a pretty incredible thing. There's so much more to sex than anal, but once you discover everything else it become much more comfortable to do. Don't be afraid to look at "How to" websites. "How to" give a blow job/rim/finger. You'll definitely learn some things. And don't let him give you beef about having been with another guy. That's not a card he can play very long and one day he may find himself on the other end of that.
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    Oct 22, 2012 3:08 PM GMT
    1blind_dog saidthemachine makes a great point. In my first relationship we had oral sex every single night for two weeks before we ever tried anal. You have to explore. Use all the senses. Feel, pinch, grab, smell, kiss, LICK. The tongue is a very powerful tool! Just as powerful as your dick and a lot more versatile. I can tell you from experience that when a bf tells you, and I quote, "Without actually having intercourse, that was amazing." it's a pretty incredible thing. There's so much more to sex than anal, but once you discover everything else it become much more comfortable to do. Don't be afraid to look at "How to" websites. "How to" give a blow job/rim/finger. You'll definitely learn some things. And don't let him give you beef about having been with another guy. That's not a card he can play very long and one day he may find himself on the other end of that.


    Thanks a lot I'll take the advice and hopefully figure things out icon_smile.gif