My Mom requested that I take off a like on gays rights that I have on my Facebook page, would you do that?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    My Moms a christian & shes traditional in her mindset, Her whole circle of friends are a bunch of Christians aswell who probably have this Negative view on Gays. My mom isnt a bad mom, Shes nice, we get along just fine.
    She uses facebook & she likes to comment on my page sometimes, and she likes me to comment on hers.
    Shes also I believe a little superficial. Im guessing she doesnt want her bible Friends to see that her Son loves gay Rights! My mom has always been in denial about my sexual orientation . Maybe to protect her little bible image or something I dont know, but She called me on the phone & asked if I could take off the Gay rights like on my page because "Everyone could see it on facebook"
    Im thinking to myself, So what? lol should I care what other people think, People that dont like me for who I am Dont matter to me.
    & then I told her pfft I live in spain & most people here dont care about that stuff "should I be ashamed?"
    She was like, umm no, and being all Dodgy.
    The moral of the story is that She wants me to Hide my sexual orientation & stay in the Closet.

    Would you Guys do that out of command or "respect" by your parents??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 2:07 PM GMT

    "Would you Guys do that out of command or "respect" by your parents??"

    Nope. Your FB page is yours.
    You're an adult.

    Tell her no, sweetly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    No, and the combative me would post videos from xtube.com all over her wall.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Oct 23, 2012 2:34 PM GMT
    whatta bitch.
    defriend her.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    A friend once gave me a painting from his house. It was pretty dark and ugly and I never liked it much but hung it in respect our friendship. My mother hated it so paid me $2000 to remove it from the wall so she wouldn't have to see it on her visits. I took the money and gave the piece to charity. I didn't feel like I was selling out. I felt like I was making my mother happy while getting some ugly art off my wall.

    But my mother would never consider influencing my poliltics or beliefs other than by simply exercising her own. And certainly she would never say anything that could have been construed as a disapproval of my sexual orientation. She wasn't a parading PFLAG but she wasn't ashamed of sexuality either.

    Mom had some friends that I didn't approve of but I still treated them with the very same respect & friendliness & hospitality as I did with her other friends who were very good people.

    So of course I don't think your mom is right to make such a request. But also I don't know if you would be entirely wrong to honor it. I don't know how all the "like" stuff works as I'm not on facebook, but I'm not so sure that being discreet is the same as being in the closet. I mean, what of people who have erotic art in their house? My mom was a liberal and someone any of you would love to have for a mom. But there's no way in hell she'd have been comfortable in my home if I had a 8 foot statue of a penis in living room. Now that'd be a big like but I don't see where I'd be able to fault her for saying something and for expecting me to do something about it.

    So I don't know. She's your mom. It doesn't sound like a big deal to me. Maybe it should, but it doesn't. It's facebook. What the fuck is that? It's not your life. If that bled into real life, if she asked you not to bring your spouse to her into her home, then you've a problem. But I don't see this as a big problem. All you're doing is taking a penis off your wall.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    Damn it...so going to do it now.
    Don't want one...hate it, been making lame excuses for not having one.
    Thought I finally got my sisters off my back about not having a Facebook page, by jokingly saying: "you know if I have one, it will be Gay. Gay. Gay...all Cher and hot Bear's".
    Funny how they backed off of the subject.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    Panpano saidShe called me on the phone & asked if I could take off the Gay rights like on my page because "Everyone could see it on facebook"
    "Everyone can see it" when they visit your profile, go to your Likes section, and then scroll through every single page you've liked.
    Someone's been FB creepin'.
    Has she asked you to change your "Interested In" to "Women" yet? icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:42 PM GMT
    no I wouldn't - that's lame of her to even ask that of you.
    I've recently had to restrict my brothers, their wives and some of my parents' friends because someone's always blabbing about what's on my Facebook page for some reason. It's beyond stupid that anyone would make my facebook page the topic of conversation... I don't talk about that shit there are more interesting things in this world - kindly remind your Mom that.
  • billy321

    Posts: 137

    Oct 23, 2012 3:45 PM GMT
    I went through something similar with my mother, who is also very religious. When I came out to her she asked me 'why did I have to tell anyone'? Don't take it down, but don't throw it back in her face either. You had to go through your journey to get where you are to accept yourself, and she is going to have to go through her own process to acceptance. She seems to still want you in her life and that's a good start...these things don't happen overnight !
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 23, 2012 3:45 PM GMT
    Absolutely not.. that kind of attitude is the real problem. I'd be offended that a parent would ever ask ... mine certainly wouldn't.

    I'd make it clear you have no plans to change that... or anything else.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Oct 23, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    nah man, you gotta leave that on there. She's gotta eventually respect that, its not like you "liked" a porn page or something.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    not at all. your mom needs to accept your choices and support them. My mom joined all the pages that I liked in her support for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:54 PM GMT
    No. It's your profile, not hers. A parent should be more concerned about their child's well-being and happiness than about how peers see them. That kind of request is extremely selfish.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    Oh, hon - you're supposed to put that kind of stuff on your other Facebook profile.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    You can make it so that "only friends" see it, and not "friends of friends". That way. your mom should be okay with it, and her friends won't see it...but if you "friend" any of her friends, you can put them on a separate list, and restrict it to see what you want them to see.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 4:03 PM GMT
    No, your an adult, you make your own decisions not her. Stand your ground or she will always think she can get away with stuff like such.

    I love my mom as I'm sure you do, but they love to use that "mom card of being manipulation with out speech"

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Oct 23, 2012 4:03 PM GMT
    either tell her to deal with it, defriend her, or get a new mom
  • Bigolbear

    Posts: 528

    Oct 23, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    Your answer should be a flat out NO!



  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Oct 23, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    I wouldn't change it, the requests will only continue in some other way. Time to live your own life and begin to separate from your Mothers life and what she wants you to do with your own. It also is time for her to accept you as you are and her friends to do the same.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    You know, when I came out I did so person by person. I would tell my aunt, and she'd tell me, "Oh, I am fine with it. But don't tell your other aunt, she wouldn't be able to handle it." Then I'd go to the other aunt and told her, and she'd say the exact same thing.

    Your mom is cool (both as in not against and somewhat reserved). She's probably afraid that her circle wouldn't handle it as well. She deserves to find out that her family and friends are better people than she gives them credit for.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Oct 23, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    Sooner or later your mom is going to have to admit you are an adult and have your own opinions.

    Rather that have you modify your page, she needs to learn to say "He's my son, but we do not agree on everything. I feel like I should respect his right to disagree." to her friends. In the meantime you can assure her that you will listen to her, but that you think she should listen to you also.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Oct 23, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    I think I agree with most the posters here. You mother should support you and in the wider scope of rights, it's your page.
    I am totally dumbfounded by parents not 100% supporting their children. I was adopted, and maybe it's different when you are chosen but I can't think of not loving my child no matter what!
    She is basically choosing her friends over you. Screw that mess!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    It's your page not your mother's. Ask her to unlike Jesus and Mitt Romney.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 4:20 PM GMT
    Ask your mom what is more important.... her friends opinion of her and her son or your opinion of her for asking something like that of you. Being gay is a part of who you are. She might not like it but that is her problem not your problem.

    If she really loves and accepts you she would understand why you won't take it down.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 23, 2012 4:28 PM GMT
    No discussion the answer is NO. If she can't respect that you are an adult capable of his own opinions and views, that's her problem not yours.