Older friend who wants more.

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    Oct 24, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    About 3 months ago I was flying back to school from visiting my parents. My flight was delayed and arrived at 4:30 am.

    I couldn't call a cab, and all of my friends were sleeping so I was a bit stressed. Fortunately, and older gentlemen who had been sitting next to me on the plane offered me a ride to my apartment. I don't normally do this type of thing but I was so tired that I was willing to take the chance that he was a serial killer.

    The car ride was long so we talked a lot about politics and skin care and whaling.....we seemed to agree on a lot.

    He gave me his number in case I ever needed anything. I texted him only to thank him, but shortly thereafter he started inviting me to brunch and stuff. So I would go. He is about 65, and very wealthy. I got the impression that he was lonely, and just needed someone to talk too, and since he was genuinely fun to be around, I didn't mind being his friend.

    He would even take all of my housemates out to eat and go paintballing. He said he had made a lot of money, but never had much of a family, so he enjoyed being around me because he liked having young people in his life.

    Today I needed a ride to the pet store. He offered to drive me so I was down for that. On the rider there we had a conversation that wen somethings like.


    HIM

    It's time you got your own car.

    ME

    yeah, I know I've been asking for a lot of rides.

    HIM

    Anything in mind?

    ME

    What do you mean

    HIM

    Do you have a dream car or anything?

    ME

    mmmm like an audi or BMW or something, I like the z4

    HIM

    let's go take a look at some.

    ME

    icon_eek.gif

    Now he's mad because I told him I think that's too much. He also says he's mad because he doesn't want sex from me and he is offended that I think he is that kind of person.

    No one leases a car for someone for the conversation. At least I don't think so........

    Right?
    icon_neutral.gif

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 24, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    right
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    Oct 24, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    tZOS8.gif
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    Oct 24, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    What do you want from the relationship? Stick to that and avoid getting overly indebted to this guy. If you enjoy seeing him, continue to meet, but don't come to depend on him. That will keep your head clear in case he starts making demands. Otherwise enjoy the ride/s
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    Oct 24, 2012 2:38 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidWhat do you want from the relationship? Stick to that and avoid getting overly indebted to this guy. If you enjoy seeing him, continue to meet, but don't come to depend on him. That will keep your head clear in case he starts making demands. Otherwise enjoy the ride/s


    I never depended on him. It's just that he calls me all the time, and he always wants to hang out with my straight friends too. So I assumed he was just looking for company. That whole interaction made me rethink that.
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    Oct 24, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    Maybe he just has self-worth issues and thinks he has to buy friends.
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    Oct 24, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidMaybe he just has self-worth issues and thinks he has to buy friends.

    Maybe he just likes to do stuff in company and doesn't mind footing the bill
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    Oct 24, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    omg send him my way
  • reptile18

    Posts: 199

    Oct 24, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    McQueen saidomg send him my way


    Back of the line, bitch!

    Is he good looking? Maybe you could reep as much stuff as you can and then when you're tired of him, try like arsenic or cyanide or something? icon_biggrin.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 24, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    McQueen saidomg send him my way

    gold-digger-posters.jpg
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    Oct 24, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    bhp91126 said
    eagermuscle saidMaybe he just has self-worth issues and thinks he has to buy friends.

    Maybe he just likes to do stuff in company and doesn't mind footing the bill

    That doesn't explain the car.
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    Oct 24, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    He offers to buy you a car and you just assume he wants to play with your big penis? RUDE!
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    Oct 24, 2012 5:34 AM GMT
    Hey now, MJ bought a nice ride for little Aaron Carter back when he was cute... whops bad example.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 24, 2012 5:51 AM GMT
    Pretty soon he'll ask you to go to the Bahama's with him for shark bait and a million dollar life insurance policy icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 24, 2012 6:49 AM GMT
    Have him pay for the vehicle outright. And the insurance. And in your name.
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    Oct 24, 2012 12:09 PM GMT
    If he is willing to buy you a car, give him the D. I would do dirty things for an Audi! But unfortunately because my car was provided by the parents... I am stuck with a cobalt.
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    Oct 24, 2012 12:34 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidHe offers to buy you a car and you just assume he wants to play with your big penis?


    There's a microscopically remote possibility that he doesn't.
    But even if he isn't trying to buy your sexual favors, do you want to feel this indebted to some random guy who sat next to you on a plane?
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Oct 24, 2012 12:36 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif
    Dont , just dont ...
    He thinks money can buy friends. (or he is too rich so that he just thinks it's a small gift)
    If I were you , I would still keep in touch with him if I was interested , just friends.
    Otherwise I'll say that I dont think his idea is good and I'll leave.

    I dont want a car to be something which always makes me think much about that relationship.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Oct 24, 2012 12:43 PM GMT
    Do you want to be a kept boy? Nobody is give anyone anything without expecting anything in return.
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    Oct 24, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    If you sincerely like the guy and his company
    - be frank...and explain that to him,
    continue to see him here and there,
    and DON'T accept a car.
    I have alot of older folk clients (professionally) - and i get it...
    they are lonely and just want a friend.
    But i'm 25 years older and wiser...and know when and where to draw the line.

    Dude, ur 21 and still not "wise" to recognize the manipulations of others.
    and btw - its IS strange that a 65 yr old is calling u all the time...
    I hang out and have fun times with my 24 and 22 yr old sons,
    but its different...and they're my kids.

    So, go on and stay friends...i hope you keep that sincere and open heart to all you meet up with in life...
    but every now and then- step back and "think".
    Your reaction on the car is normal icon_eek.gif
    and if he's "mad" because you are a little uncomfortable... I'd step back a bit.
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    Oct 24, 2012 2:27 PM GMT
    You have every right to feel uncomfortable, I know I would. You have to evaluate your situation, figure out where you stand and where you want this relationship to go, and discuss it with him. Take a train/cab to a restaurant, have a conversation with him, show appreciation but clearly state how you feel about his advances. Whatever you do, don't agree to drive there and then home with him, this needs to happen 1on1 only at the restaurant and give him some alone time to think about what he has heard.

    I don't think it would take long till he messages you back. Pay close attention to his reactions and his approach to the whole thing.

    Idk, thats all I can say. I've been in awkward situations before where one individual was very persistent and demanding and completely ignored my cues. I ended up calling it quits and blocking him out of my life.
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    Oct 24, 2012 7:16 PM GMT
    So he didn't actually say he's getting you a car. All he did was offer to go with you to look at some cars and maybe test drive one.

    If he is leasing you a car, you wouldn't need to finish school to be a whore. But you might want to call yourself "life coach" or "personal shopper" on your business cards.
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    Oct 24, 2012 7:32 PM GMT
    I remember you as a pretty straight (no pun) level headed guy. You know in your heart what to do: there is no right or wrong in the situation, if you're both happy and understand each other....what the fuck, just be very sure how deep the water is........
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    Oct 24, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    Don't take it unless you know what you're getting into. There would be huge strings attached, on one level or another.

    You're in NYC, right? There's a whole culture there of "boy toys," and they're not all what you'd think. I went to an Ivy - and one of my best friends there fell in with that crowd. It seemed glamorous to him at the time, and he did stay friends with some of the older guys he met. But it's soul-sucking.

    Back in the day, one of his very rich old friends told me, "You'll fit in just fine." No thanks. I made it on my own, as and when I could.
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    Oct 24, 2012 8:05 PM GMT
    I've been there a couple of times. He's trying to keep you around by spending money on you because you're young and attractive and he can't offer much in those fields, but he DOES have money, so that's how he shows his appreciation. Don't take advantage of him, remember you'll be 65 one day.

    Remember you can make your own money! There's more pride in that than taking it from some older guy.