The problems with the definiton of "GAY" and the complicated story of society labeling and missundestandings

  • woow

    Posts: 61

    Oct 24, 2012 2:11 PM GMT
    Hello mates

    I've been reading several posts in the forums where people has problems about the definition of what is "GAY" and all the problems that the society has created around the men who fancy men.

    Nowadays the word "gay" has lot significance. It's been used is so many way thet I'm not sure if someone knows what really means. Use as offensive term, negative or just as a filler word.

    Society usually associate "gay" as a ghetto more than anything else. A group of men who fancy other men, but have a particular lifestyle full of rainbows and parades, fashion or acting camp. Men who women refers as not "real men", or "such a waste".

    The definiton is simple, "gay" pretended to be a word to describe "men who fancy other men" not other characteristic attached. A less ofensive name that the typical medical term "homosexual", which honestly I don't find offensive.
    Unfortunately, language is alive and the meaning is according to the majority of people saying the word.

    A other term came up..."g0y", apparently a man who fancy man but are out of the ghetto, out of the stereotype and avoiding anal sex, defining themselves as other thing. But this definition fits in the original term " men who fancy men independently their sexual practice and activities".

    I read a post where some men who are afraid to be clasified as "gay" because of the stereotype explained above, and they said that are atracted to "straight men" ( I'm sure they meant 'masculine' but according to the society definition a gay man cannot be masculine) because gay men do not share same interests. That only proves that society in general is still far from understanding of human nature. But let's be honest, many men follows the ghetto definition and don't want to change the meaning. But for all of you who used to post phrases as the first four lines in the paragraph, you must know that that statment do not make any sense.

    So far, in general for me to explain straight people who ask, I just said that I fancy men, that the real mean of "gay" is that trying to give them a objective point of view, avoiding more separatism, and creating a new meaning for the word trying to include everyone, for those guy who likes masculine guys, is as respectable as others who don't, human diversity is endless.

    Anyway, that a point I wanted to share, what about yours?
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Oct 24, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    you like it up your butt from another man, or like to put yours in his...
    you are gay


    [and all of touse who dont do anal, they are just afraid]
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 24, 2012 9:18 PM GMT
    What the fuck is a g0y?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 24, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    Medjai saidWhat the fuck is a g0y?


    Someone with one foot in the closet door?
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Oct 24, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    This is more a problem for the Generation X, Baby Boomer, and up set.

    Young gay men in increasing number do not overthink it this way. Thanks to everybody 35 and up for putting in the work so that the rest of us can just see gay and gay, no big deal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Medjai saidWhat the fuck is a g0y?


    Someone with one foot in the closet door?


    Perhaps it is short for Goya, or a gay Goya.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 24, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    Stuttershock said
    HottJoe said
    Medjai saidWhat the fuck is a g0y?


    Someone with one foot in the closet door?


    Perhaps it is short for Goya, or a gay Goya.


    Gotye? They'd be emo enough.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    g0y - For MEN who love Masculinity; --But don't identify as "Gay"!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 9:35 PM GMT
    Most people don't like the name "Gay" or "Homosexual" as well as the more extreme words. What would you call "guys who like guys" should be the next step since there are bisexual also. I am stumped though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar saidg0y - For MEN who love Masculinity; --But don't identify as "Gay"!


    in other words.... a bunch of homophobic fags
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar saidg0y - For MEN who love Masculinity; --But don't identify as "Gay"!


    Haha, that's funny. So they upset that society only interprets 'gay' with a certain stereotype... but rather than combat this by standing up and saying 'hey, we're gay too' they further propagate the stereotype by disassociating themselves from the word entirely and invent a new word to describe themselves.

    What a fail.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    i thot a 'goy' was a jewish homosexual......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    Well, every word usually has a connotative (the underlying tone) and annotative (the literal tone) quality to itself. Gay is no exception. The biases and views that come with the word, subjective and reflective in nature, are often naught more than the connotative attachments a person has. They are guided by where we grow up and take root in society, becoming our channels and reference point. We use these as cues and indicators to gain an approximation or relative understanding of something.

    For people who proscribe to the term "gay", many heterosexuals still see them as being blasphemers, camps, colorful drag queens, banal antagonists of normalcy in society, limp wristed fashionistas, et cetera. Of course, many gays don't see themselves being this way which is why they're trying to redefine and reinvent the terminology to distinctly characterize one facet of themselves (i.e. their attraction to the same sex) and leave no room for any other invasive stereotype/prejudice. One problem with that in the pursuit of escaping one laundry list of stereotypes, it opens you up to another potentially portraying you as being 'defensive' or 'in denial' (e.g. MSM).

    (Most) Humans are not computers and do not do very well understanding terms purely objectively. We store and analyze words based off of our experience and the cues we gather from other people's interaction, associating with words more than just objectively but also subjectively. I believe that's because we're social creatures and have to find some manner of knowing how to act/behave around them. When we don't, we look to those who have already done so and draw our conclusions out on that but that's just my theory. Either way, humans will always filter words through a subjective lens in an attempt to draw conclusions about an idea/expression beyond its literal configuration.

    SO long story short:
    Everyone defines everything. It's just how things are. You make 'gay' what you want it to be. Shake dem hatahz off. Peace bitches. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 10:24 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Medjai saidWhat the fuck is a g0y?


    Someone with one foot in the closet door?

    I could bury you in threads made about g0yz in the forum graveyard... G0Y threads annoyed me enough, back then, to make me delete my account...completely troll threads...it was the end of the end of the First Age Of RJ, as I knew it. icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said
    HottJoe said
    Medjai saidWhat the fuck is a g0y?


    Someone with one foot in the closet door?

    I could bury you in threads made about g0yz in the forum graveyard... G0Y threads annoyed me enough, back then, to make me delete my account...completely troll threads...it was the end of the end of the First Age Of RJ, as I knew it. icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif


    i'm just getting to like you.......you're not leaving are you???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    Keith51 said
    JR_RJ said
    HottJoe said
    Medjai saidWhat the fuck is a g0y?


    Someone with one foot in the closet door?

    I could bury you in threads made about g0yz in the forum graveyard... G0Y threads annoyed me enough, back then, to make me delete my account...completely troll threads...it was the end of the end of the First Age Of RJ, as I knew it. icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif


    i'm just getting to like you.......you're not leaving are you???

    Not this time... Not so easily... How much I care for my gay peers has outgrown my defense mechanisms, that I learned to get through my issues in my last returns here. I too was lost and in search of pieces of myself among my peers, like a statistic. Oddly, between the regulars and trolls this place taught me about myself. I'd like to thank the guys who weren't even trying, cause they were the wind that powered my sails.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    ah, wasn't bette just wonderful with that song........and sail on my friend, the sunset always lies over the horizon, but its always gone when we get there...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 24, 2012 11:19 PM GMT
    It's not the word per se that's the issue, it's how we refer to ourselves and each other using the word through our own definition.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 25, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    All my coworkers tell me that being "gay" is just as normal as being straight, but being "homo" means you're a little sissy bitch.

    So, I call them homo's. icon_lol.gif